


Butterfly Sanctuary

by Serpent_Tailed_Angel



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, As in the base premise involves everyone who died in the Eclipse arc staying dead, Canon Divergence, Character Death, Drama, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Rogue's shadow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2018-05-30 19:31:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 62,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6437383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serpent_Tailed_Angel/pseuds/Serpent_Tailed_Angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ultear tries to kill Rogue during the Eclipse incident, and is killed by a dragon instead. Without her there to rewind time and save everyone, Rogue is blamed for all of the resulting deaths. With the whole country out for his blood, Sting and Rogue become increasingly desperate to find a way to get him to safety while struggling to keep him from losing control of his shadow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which life sucks for Rogue because everyone thinks he's a ticking time bomb.

Two weeks after promising not to force Rogue out of the guild, Sting went back on his word. Rogue saw it coming, knew it was only a matter of time. He'd even sent letters out to other guilds in advance, seeing if any might be willing to take him. He'd also seen it coming that those that responded would do so with a rejection, but he still had to give it a shot. Not that it mattered if they would willfully take him anymore.

"Sorry," Sting said, and for as much as Rogue wished otherwise, he knew Sting meant it. Sting hadn't wanted to remove anyone from the guild so soon into his tenure as master, much less Rogue. "The Council's spoken. There's no rules against you still coming to the guild, or tagging along when I go on a job, or me deciding to share half the earnings with you. I mean, we might want to be covert about it until this all blows over, and you still have to remove your guild mark, but…"

But it was still something. No matter what Sting did to make him feel like he still had a place, he wasn't allowed to wear any signs that he belonged, and couldn't claim any involvement in the guild. Not so long as he still dealt with magic. The Council had decided to bar him completely from legal guilds, and half of Sabertooth wanted him gone anyway, but he still had one friend who would stand by him.

A friend who he was going to kill in one year's time.

Rogue shook his head, forcing a smile so Sting wouldn't feel too bad about what the Council made him do. "It's fine. I shouldn't keep working as a wizard anyway."

"H-hey. Don't say that." Sting slung an arm over Rogue's shoulder. "We're a team. You can't expect me to go on missions _on my own_ , can you?"

"Might be safer…"

"Really? Going on missions by myself? I mean, I know I'm pretty awesome, but I _do_ make mistakes. You think I'd be better off without someone to watch my back?"

Rogue glanced at the office door, imagining the people lined up outside, silently willing for Sting to shut up and accept Rogue's offer to leave peacefully. Why did Sting always have to be so loud? At least he'd had the good sense to pull Rogue into a side room rather than semi-banish him in front of the whole guild, but no doubt the whole guild could still hear him.

The whole guild also already knew why it was amazing he'd already gone so long without being booted, as did the rest of the country, and possibly a few neighboring nations as well, but Rogue kept his own voice low responding. "You think you'd be better off with someone who would stab you in the back?"

Sighing, Sting let his arm drop. "Rogue, don't be like that. I'm trying to cheer you up."

"It's fine. I'm fine. I can work somewhere… safer. Sorry I made the Council come down on you for showing me…" If he described what Sting had done for him as pity, he couldn't pretend he was okay. "For standing by me."

"Yeah, well, what else are friends for?"

Rogue couldn't come up with a good answer.

"Look, Rogue, whatever the Council says, I'm not letting you go without a fight."

Rogue shook his head. He'd known ever since Natsu told them the news that he had to leave. However much Sting wanted him there, however much Rogue wanted Sting there for him, he had to go. In one year's time, if something wasn't done to stop him, he would kill Sting. How selfish could he get, clinging to Sabertooth for fear that no one else would take him, clinging to Sting for knowing that no one else would stand up for him, when his presence would end up getting his friend killed? Accepting Sting's kindness was the worst way to repay him for everything he'd done.

" _Rogue._ "

"Don't worry about me. I have enough in savings that I won't starve if it takes me a few weeks to find work somewhere else. I can work for a mercenary guild, maybe. They don't have any personal reason to hate me, and they tend to be lax with the kind of people they let into their guilds. There are places where my magic will come in handy that the Council can't order me away from." His employment wasn't the issue for Sting, so Rogue added a dishonest, "I'll come and visit you once I've set something up."

"We don't hate you _here_ ," Sting said, which was true if you ignored how half the guild vocally questioned why Sting hadn't chased Rogue off yet. And the half that didn't dare complain aloud, but still looked at Rogue like he was a ticking time bomb. In their defense, he was.

At least Orga didn't complain. He could be louder than Sting, and it would be impossible for Rogue to block his voice out. Of course, most of the complaints stemmed from Rogue's hand in Orga's death, so it was more that Orga _couldn't_ complain. Not while Rogue was awake, anyway. He still had nightmares when he found himself back beside Orga in his last momnets, arm and shoulder bitten off, bleeding out an cursing whoever it was that brought the dragons to them. At the time, when Rogue assured him that they'd stop the culprit, neither of them had known it was him.

"Thank you for having me," Rogue said. "I'll let you know when I'm settled in somewhere else."

He meant for that to be the end of the conversation, but as he turned to leave, a horrible, wretched thought hit him, and rooted itself so deeply in his heart that he had to turn back and face Sting.

"Would you consider… looking after Frosch for me?"

It hurt to ask, and from the way Sting winced, Rogue knew it hurt to hear as well. The thought of forcing Frosch away from him made his heart ache, but he could hear his shadow snickering at him even then. He'd yet to tell anyone else about it. Even when Natsu told them what his future self said, with everything else that happened, Rogue didn't dare mention the shadow. It had already corrupted him once and forced him to lash out against Gajeel. What else might it do? His future self claimed that Frosch dying would give that shadow the power to warp his mind for good. His shadow had mocked him with that future, impressing the inevitability of it on him, ever since that day. What if his shadow made him hurt Frosch as well?

"I'll consider it," Sting said slowly. Then, drawing in a shaky breath and holding his chin up defiantly, he said, "I'll consider it, but only if you promise to give leaving more thought. Three days, alright? You have to stay that long and really think about what you're doing. You'll always have a home here. This is where your friends are. You know that, right?"

He offered Rogue the warmest smile he could, so Rogue returned it. "Of course I do."

He'd have friends right up until he murdered them in cold blood, whether he wanted to or not.

-o-

As had been their custom since the Grand Magic Games ended, Sting asked Rogue if he needed anyone to walk home with him. Rogue swore he was fine to go home alone, insisting there was no danger in it, then once Sting wasn't watching, melded into the shadows and traveled across the streets out of sight. It wasn't safe for him to show his face in public, and even if they both knew that, they still humored one another.

Only on their first day back from the tournament had they not done this. Sting was caught up in his new position and the task it came with of arranging funerals, and Rogue was still too stunned by the revelation of what he was capable of to think straight. This had proven to be a near fatal mistake on their parts. As soon as Sting turned his back, Rogue had been met with jeers from the rest of the guild. Mind still reeling from all the deaths his future self had caused, everyone's accusations had been too much for Rogue to bare, and he'd fled.

Sabertooth only lost three members in the fight, but that didn't mean the damage done was low. Those members had friends and family in town. Not every civilian who went to the capitol as a spectator made it back, despite the evacuation beforehand. And besides, even those who hadn't lost a loved one could resent the idea that a future murderer was walking among them. Rogue escaped the spite of his guild mates only to be met with the same sentiments from the towns' people. Spite and stones and whatever else they might throw at him. One of those rocks struck Rogue in the back of the head, and he'd nearly lost consciousness. He only survived the night because Sting had followed after to apologize for the rest of the guild, and dragged him to safety.

The town was already angry with Sting for giving Rogue and incentive to stick around. Letting Sting help him back home safely would only make matters worse. Getting home safe was a joke anyway. His house itself was unsafe. The windows were smashed, and the plywood he'd put up to temporarily block out wind or rain was hardly and sturdier. Two boards had been replaced at least once. Having predicted his removal from the guild, Rogue had become frugal with spending too, so rather than install a sturdy bolt on his door, he'd taken to shoving furniture in front of it while inside. This had done nothing to prevent someone from picking the lock and guiding looters in a week earlier, but thankfully Rogue had come home in the middle of that and been able to chase them off before anything _too_ essential was stolen.

It still hurt, stepping into the apartment and seeing so much empty floor and wall where his things used to be. Rogue had to pause in the doorway, closing his eyes and gathering himself together before he could enter.

Only after he'd shut the door and shoved a cushionless couch in front of it did he let Frosch climb out from under his cape. Once the two of them parted ways, it would be safer for her. Until then, Rogue worried about the possibility that she might be attacked for continuing to follow him everywhere.

"Make yourself comfortable," he said, although he had no idea where she would do that. "I'll get started on dinner."

Frosch crawled up onto the couch but, realizing it was likely to be thrown aside if anyone forced their way in, hopped back down and darted into the bedroom.

Keep her safe, his future self had said. Rogue could barely protect her from his own neighbors. How was he going to keep her safe from whatever was meant to kill her in a year?

With the expectation that his source of income would dry up soon and his confidence that he could find work in another field largely faked for Sting, food was an expense where he'd cut costs. Everything was canned, and it only took a few minutes to heat up.

The kitchen table was still there, but two of the chairs were gone, and the last was broken. Rogue dumped dinner onto a plate, grabbed too forks, and went into the bedroom to eat with Frosch. His summer bedding was gone, but the winter blanket from the closet was still there, and he'd thrown it on his bed while he debated whether or not to buy replacement sheets. Now that he was set on going, he was glad he'd held off.

Sting thought he would change his mind if he went home and slept on it. Going home only reminded Rogue all the more that he wasn't welcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus begins the lightest, happiest, fluffiest fic I've ever embarked on. Don't let the tone of this chapter fool you. It's all up hill from here. Why did you think I would put "Butterfly" in the tittle if it weren't all sunshine and rainbows?


	2. Butterfly Effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sting attempts to convince Rogue that he isn’t destined to turn evil.

"Have you ever heard of the butterfly effect?"

"I believe I was the one who explained it to you."

Sting laughed, and if his laugh was a little too forced, Rogue wasn't going to call him on it. Two more nights, and then Sting would agree to take care of Frosch for him and let him run away. Until then, he could oblige Sting's attempts to make him feel like he was still wanted. Since this included treating him to lunch, Rogue found these attempts weren't as taxing as he'd feared.

They ate in the guild hall, of course. Sting had a favorite restaurant in mind, but Rogue had insisted on staying in Sabertooth, so Sting ran to buy takeout instead. The food wasn't as warm, but it beat being turned away at the restaurant, or knowing for sure that someone spat in his food. It beat hearing everyone whisper as he walked by, wondering why Sting stayed by him when it was foretold that he would be Sting's end, or why he hadn't been locked away yet.

Rogue wished the technicality of 'it was his future self who killed everyone' didn't apply. A prison cell would keep him safe from everyone who hated him now, and it would keep everyone he loved safe from him.

"I've been thinking about how things might have gone if no one ever traveled back in time," Sting admitted.

"Orga would be alive," Rogue told him. "I'd still be a member of the guild, and the guild would be on good terms with Lamia Scale because you wouldn't have flipped their guild master off when she asked you why you consorted with a monster."

"You're still a member."

"I removed my guild mark last night. According to guild rules, I'm not even supposed to be in the building now."

"I'm the master. I say honorary members are allowed in, and that's what you are. Besides… Aren't you entirely to negative lately?"

Rogue fixed Sting with a flat look and said, "Well, my future self traveled back in time, killed everyone, and now all the survivors hate me. I'm not sure why you think I should be positive, all things considered."

"How about because there were more survivors than deaths? Because we're still here together? Because the futures that you and Fairy Tail's time traveler talked about don't resemble what's happening to us now?" Sting grabbed Rogue's arm, yanking it out sideways and forcing Rogue to face him. "What the fuck is wrong with you, giving up like this? Don't you realize it's entirely up to you how you turn out? You don't want to become _that_ Rogue? All you have to do is _not act like him!_ It's that simple! Stop pretending you're doomed!"

Rogue bit down on his lip so hard he taste blood, knowing that he'd only make his situation worse if he shouted at Sting about the shadow in front of the whole guild. It might finally convince Sting that it wasn't safe to hand around him, but at least until he was out of town, he didn't want to give everyone more reason to distrust him. A shadow that only he heard… that could take over him and make him want to kill those around him…

"You don't get it…"

"What's not to get? You think that future is a happy one for _me_ to think about? You might turn evil? How horrible. According to that you, I'm going to _die_ in a year. You don't think that bothers me?" Sting snapped. "The future isn't set in stone, and I'm not letting that happen to _either_ of us. Pull yourself together and give me a hand with that. We're supposed to be a team, idiot."

Sitng's gaze was so intense Rogue thought he might go blind trying to meet it, and he dropped his eyes to the floor.

"You don't know that…"

"What?" Sting let go of Rogue's arm. "Don't know… Look, aside from the fact that I'm the one who registered us as a team, I'm not the one who has to manage all the teams. I'm pretty sure it's an objective fact that we are a team."

"No… I mean… you don't know it's not set in stone."

"Of course I do. When Lucy… hang on." Sting leaned forward and slid a hand under Rogue's chin, forcing his friend's face back up. Rogue had to focus his eyes elsewhere to avoid looking at Sting's. "There. Now hold still. Lucy's account of the future was that a bunch of dragons attacked with no warning, right? Ten-thousand of them. That other you said that Lucy closed the gate before any dragons came out. Seven came out though. For us, we saw seven dragons. And that Lucy didn't know about any Rogue from her future and didn't know to close the gate, but in the other you's future, Lucy did. So her future depends on things not happening that the other you said happened, and his future depends on her traveling back to mess with the events he experienced… Does your head hurt yet."

"No." Rogue had stopped paying attention at the point that he determined Sting's thoughts weren't coming out in any coherent order.

"Think about it this way. That gate was going to open, right? They wanted to open it. So what happens in a world with no time travelers?"

"They open the gate."

"Right. And all those dragons came out, and because no one came back to warn that it happened, no one closed the gate in time. That's the future Lucy came from. And when she went back, her warning about the dragons made people realize not to open the gate."

"Sting—"

"Which is the future the other you came from."

Sting, you're not supposed to—"

"And he went back in time and made everything that we saw happen, which is all different from how both of them remembered everything, so who's to say that anything else they predicted is guaranteed to happen? You probably didn't even turn evil in Lucy's future."

"No. I probably died in the initial dragon attack. But Sting, you're not supposed to say anything smart."

"Yeah, well, you're too stupid from hating yourself the past month, so someone's gotta take over."

Rogue felt a strange sensation spread across his cheeks, and realized he was smiling. How long had it been since he'd smiled without having to force it? Ever since Natsu told them about his future self, most likely.

The shock had been so immense at the time that he hadn't even been able to think through it clearly. Thinking about it at all sickened him. More than once he'd lost his lunch imagining how horrible a person he was going to become. He'd never taken the time to go over the events as Sting had. Their timeline already had difference from his future self's. There was no guarantee that his shadow would consume him. He might not be forced to kill Sting. He might not watch Frosch die.

Hope and elation that Rogue hadn't let himself feel since the games bubbled up in his chest and jammed themselves in Rogue's throat, coming out as a choke laugh. He buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking as he tried not to burst out in laughter right there in the guild. He wasn't doomed. Everyone still hated him, but he wasn't doomed. They'd all been wrong. The guild master of Quatro Cerebus, saying he was responsible for the loss of their star member. Rufus, recalling how he'd caused Orga's death. The woman with the time magic, who'd tried to stop all the chaos in the city by killing him, claiming it would all go away if he could just die, only to be skewered by a dragon that claimed it would see to it that he fulfilled his destiny to rule over everyone. Even Fairy Tail, trying as cautiously as possible to let him know that they didn't _officially_ hate him for the loss of their members.

He wasn't doomed. He could laugh himself to death right then and there, and it wouldn't change the fact that his future self killed all those people, because _that_ version of him had a different past that Rogue was no longer tied to. His future self had a different past, and he very well might have a different future.

"Rogue?" Sting poked him. "Please tell me you aren't crying."

Rogue lifted his head and opened his mouth to say something. Realizing that laughter was going to come out instead of words, he quickly shut his mouth back up and covered his face with his hands again.

"R-Rogue?" Sting grabbed him. "Hey? Come on. I'm trying to help. You know that, right? Just tell me what I need to do, Rogue. Please. Whatever I can do for you. Just let me know what I can do."

"F-fine," Rogue managed to get out. "I'm f-fine."

Sting froze, hand slowly withdrawing from Rogue's shoulder. When Rogue gave no further response and continued to tremble, he bent down to try and inspect his friend's face, and caught the tip of a smile.

"Are you… _laughing?_ "

Hands still over his face, Rogue nodded.

Sting relaxed back, shoulders slumping in relief and hands falling limp at his sides. "You're laughing. Oh thank God! I can't remember the last time you did that."

Rogue couldn't either, and trying to focus on that, useless as the knowledge of his last laugh would be, helped him regain control of himself. The occasional chuckle still escaped, but he was able to lift his head and speak again.

"Thank you, Sting."

"Yeah. No problem. I mean, I didn't think you'd find it that funny."

"Well… it might not have been _funny_ per se." He wasn't doomed. Sting wasn't doomed. Frosch wasn't doomed. They could go on with their lives, and in a year when he didn't go mad, maybe the rest of the world would lighten up on him.

"So, about those plans to find a mercenary guild."

All he had to do was not give in to his shadow, and who better to help with that than light incarnate?

"I can always try that later. Let's see if the Council gets mad about me tagging along with you first."

"That's the spirit!" Sting clapped him on the back. "I've gotta stay this afternoon for a stupid audit, but we can head out first thing in the morning."

-o-

Spirits high for the first time in too long, Rogue decided to risk walking home in full view. If things got to be dangerous, he could always hide in the shadows, but he needed not to rely on that. Shadows were the enemy now, as much as they were his source of strength. Until he found a way to overcome that, hiding wouldn't do.

He wasn't going to hide or run away. The future wasn't set in stone, and so long as he stayed determined not to let things end badly, there was a chance.

For the first time since before the games, he was excited with the prospect of going on a job with Sting. It would be easier for Sting to find clients who would officially hire only him anyway, which, in a sad sort of way, increased Rogue's job prospects as well. Now that he was no longer planning to flee on a budget, Rogue found himself considering what to do to fix things at home. He and Frosch could start eating better again for sure. The windows he might not replace immediately. In fact, he might board them over with something sturdier until he was sure no one would put a rock through any glass he put up, but the furniture he could begin to replace.

Rogue resolved to have seasonally appropriate bed sheets by the end of the week. Absurdly elated with this small idea, which had seemed like a pipe dream only that morning, he turned onto the next street, and was promptly grabbed by Rune Knights and tossed into the back of a carriage.

For a whole month, Rogue had lamented that time travel created too many technicalities for anyone to arrest him. It figured that the Council would find a loophole right when he no longer wanted to be locked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who doesn't know, the Butterfly Effect is the idea that a small action or change causes a ripple effect that leads to a major deviation in outcomes. The name comes from the example where the flap of a butterfly's wings sets into motion a change of winds that, while ever so slight, causes a hurricane elsewhere in the world. The Simpsons makes a joke of it in an early Treehouse of Horrors episode, where Homer travels back to prehistoric times and swats a bug, leading to a radical alteration of the present where his good Christian neighbor is supreme ruler of the world.
> 
> What Frogue and Future Lucy did aren't stellar examples, because they traveled back in time with the intent to take major action to cause a specific change, but Sting still uses the term in this chapter. The real reason it comes up is because the plot was based on a closer example. Sting taking just a little longer to reach Rogue during the Eclipse incident. Since he didn't make it in time to give Ultear pause, she attacks Rogue. Since she attacks Rogue, the dragon meant to see Rogue to safety kills her. Since the dragon kills her, she doesn't save everyone else by turning back time. Since people die, the Eclipse incident is treated with much more weight by everyone than it was in the story proper. Memories can't be altered because pretending that nothing happened would raise questions of how so many people died, and because there are lasting consequences of the event, there's a push to hold someone accountable.
> 
> So that's where half the title came from, if anyone was wondering.


	3. Prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rogue does not have a fun time in jail.

After some debate, Rogue agreed to go peacefully on the condition that they drove by Sting's house on the way so he could drop Frosch off. He trusted one of the Rune Knights to deliver Frosch unmonitored as much as he trusted Frosch to find Sting on her own. Still busy with his audit, Sting wasn't there to see the Rune Knights drive by his home.

Once alone, Rogue curled up in a corner of the wagon and braced himself for the long, motion sickness ridden trip to Era.

They arrived in the middle of the night. Rogue, still nauseas, stumbled when he attempted to exit the truck, and fell to the dirt rather than stepping out. Before he had the chance to ask for help, Rune Knights hoisted him rudely to his feet. This favor was returned by Rogue vomiting on one of the men's shoes.

Once the two men who'd grabbed his arms had him steadied, they used that established grip to pull him forward towards the jail. It looked like a simple thing from outside, but Rogue knew from having been called in multiple times as a witness to criminals he helped stop that the basement went down many floors, and the farther from the surface you were, the colder and more soulless the halls felt.

"What am I here for?" Rogue finally found the nerve to ask.

His question was met with a snort and a dirty look from the knights escorting him. The whole country knew his future self unleashed a thunder of dragons on the capitol and left death in his wake. No matter what the official reason for his arrest was, that was what really led to his being locked away. But they couldn't arrest him for what his future self did, and Rogue couldn't contest his arrest if he didn't know what excuse they found to lock him away.

"What are the charges?" Rogue amended.

"Conspiracy to commit mass murder," a Rune Knight told him, "and conspiracy for involvement in black arts from the Book of Zeref."

Technically, those weren't false. Sort of. Rogue had never wanted or plotted to do those thing, even if he'd expected a future in which he did. Thanks to the world receiving a visitor from such a future, he'd have one hell of a time arguing that he wasn't conspiring, though. Particularly given that the Council liked to declare people guilty so long as they more likely than not did whatever they were on trial for.

At least conspiring to commit a crime wasn't punished as severely as doing the deed. Rogue wondered what the maximum sentence was when you were caught planning to kill as many people as you possibly could. It was also in his favor that Sting had some level of sway as a guild master, and was far more will to help bail his guild members out than Genma ever did. Granted, Sting wasn't the most focused individual when it came to the legal side of his position, but surely he'd give it his best. He might even find a few guild members who weren't happy with the arrest. If he could recruit someone with a better attention span to help him prepare a case in Rogue's defense, then it might only be a month or two before Rogue was able to return home.

Although to be away from home for several months… Hopefully Frosch would mention the state of Rogue's home, and Sting would think to go and secure the building before anyone could decide to break in and rob the place again.

Someone upping the security around his house sounded unlikely, but Rogue had no doubt that Sting would come to his defense. With that in mind, he remained calm as he was escorted to a cell deep beneath the main Era structure and locked away for the night.

-o-

Two weeks passed, and Rogue was no longer calm. There had been no word of a trial, nor any sign of Sting. While he'd initially considered it lucky that his cell was in an otherwise empty hall—since that meant there would be no legitimate criminals next door to harass him—Rogue now found it alarming that the only other life he saw was the prison guard who brought him two meals once a day. (Apparently his cell was too far out of the way from the rest of the inmates to be worth a trip at breakfast _and_ dinner.) The amount of conversation he'd had with another life form was nil. The guard did his best to ignore Rogue at all times, refusing to answer questions about why the justice system was taking so long or whether or not his friend wanted to visit him. Thanks to the guard's silence, Rogue didn't even know if he was allowed visitors.

This lack of conversation with other living creatures took its toll on Rogue, whose fragile mind had only just begun to mend itself after all the stress of the guild and town treating him like poison, as well as his own suspicions that they were right to do so. Desperate for any sort of engagement with another person, he found himself increasingly tempted to speak with the one thing that still spoke to him.

 _The cell doesn't even have magic sealing properties, and you're unshackled,_ his shadow whispered. _There's nothing preventing you from breaking out_.

Rogue wasn't sure how many times he'd thought this on his own, or how many times the shadow had pointed it out. Since he'd come up with a firm argument against this, he suspected the shadow couldn't read his mind. At least not in full. Maybe, if the shadow was some manifestation of mental instability rather than a curse, or his magic turned against him, it was him thinking it every time. Maybe he only thought it was his shadow speaking to him, because he'd lost the ability to recognize that the voices he heard were only his own dark thoughts.

If he wasn't crazy already, he was certain the way the guards isolated him would drive him mad.

 _You could leave now_.

"I'm not that stupid," Rogue muttered. He then grimaced, realizing what he'd done, and tried to convince himself that he'd only been talking to himself. He was going mad, and he'd only spoken to himself.

Except then he remembered his shadow claiming to be the darkness in his own heart, which meant that talking to the shadow _was_ talking to himself.

_Why, you're a full-fledged retard. Choosing to sit here, at the mercy of those who clearly despise you, when you could have your freedom any time you wish._

He needed not to give the shadow any validity. Ignore it and hope it went away. No dignifying it's goading with a response.

"Yeah, and live the rest of my life on the run. Besides, I think the security is deliberately insufficient. All they can convict me for is conspiring to commit a crime. If they catch me breaking out of my cell, they have a real crime to detain me for."

_They have you detained already. You think they're going to give you a fair trial? They've charged you with accusations no one will question and isolated you in an empty hall. No one can see you. No one will wonder why you were taken away. Quite likely, no one will raise a fuss if they don't see your trial to confirm you're found guilty and given an appropriate sentence._

"Sting cares."

 _But wouldn't it be such a relief to him not to have the_ burden _of a friend who everyone hates you for sticking to?_

"I know what you're trying to do, and it won't work. Sting cares less about that than I do."

_Oh? So you do care. Well then, let's save Sting the burden of us. Break out, and he'll have to concede that you're no good. No one can hold it against him that he consorts with you if he doesn't._

"Of course I care about him. I—"

"Who are you talking too?"

Rogue started, eyes darting from his shadow to the concerned looking guard standing outside his cell.

"I… uh… No one? I mean, no one's said a word to me since I got here, and I was bored so… I…"

The guard set a tray containing the day's meals down, turned, and walked away.

-o-

Rogue gave up. Wretched as giving in and talking to the shadow felt, it beat silently listening to the shadow's constant goading. Listening to the shadow's goading beat the painful silence that he otherwise had to contend with. The guard hadn't spoken to him again since asking that one question. In fact, the man now brought meals four or even six at a time, and came less often. More and more, Rogue found himself desperately craving the company of another human. Even if they played mute, it drove Rogue mad to go for such long stretches of time without seeing another soul.

It was probably for the best that Sting convinced him not to run away. If he'd been stuck wandering, unable to find work and avoiding towns because the people who expected him to become the man who summoned dragons to Crocus, what sort of toll might it have taken on his mind? At least if the isolation drove him mad in jail, he was safely locked up.

Aside from the part where his cell was set up so he could easily escape.

The worst of it was that half the time, Rogue didn't even argue with his shadow anymore. He'd conceded too many points. Let too many darker thoughts and fears slip. Now half the time, the shadow told him exactly what he wanted to hear, or what he already believed. If the Council didn't figure out soon that he wasn't _destined_ to go mad and at least allowed him more human contact, they were going to drive him insane.

When not conversing with his shadow, Rogue found he slept all the time. There was nothing else to do, alone in a cell with only a stiff mattress and a thin sheet that did nothing to keep him warm. Although he initially tried to stay up during the day and sleep only at night, he found himself napping to pass the time, and with the guard no longer coming regularly, lost track of the days completely.

It was, by Rogue's best estimate, a month after the one time the guard spoke to him that things truly went wrong. With his sense of time off and the guard going half a week at times without coming to see him, Rogue didn't notice at first when the guard stopped coming completely. He'd already taken to eating only when starving for fear of scarfing down his three days' worth of food in half the time it was meant to last. By the time he'd run out of food and sat down to think about it, he realized it had likely been more than three days since the guard came.

Taking this to mean he would get to see another human being again soon, Rogue sat up and waited. He'd hate to sleep through one of the few highlights in his week. Sad as it was that the whole ordeal had been going on for so many weeks that he could now identify that.

"I wonder if they'll call me up for my trial soon," he muttered aloud.

 _They've already found you guilty_.

"Sting wouldn't let them do that. Not without a fight."

 _If he fought for you, he must not have put his all into it_.

"Or he's still fighting."

_When has the Council ever taken more than a day to find someone guilty?_

Rogue changed his mind. He wanted to sleep. There was no shadow to mock him in his sleep.

-o-

There was no way to be sure, but Rogue thought it had been two days since he last ate, and still no sign of any guards.

 _You might_ need _to break out_ , the shadow pointed out. _Or does being on your best behavior matter more than starving to death?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still working out a good pace with this fic, so bear with me.


	4. The Darkness Without

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rogue fails to prove he’s harmless.

He broke out.

Rogue knew it was a terrible idea. Every part of his brain screamed that it was a bad idea. He was already in legal trouble. The whole country thought he was bound to turn evil. The guard had to think he was crazy for talking to his shadow. His shadow thought that breaking out was a good idea, which was the biggest reason of all that he shouldn't have done it. Really, it could take days to list all the reasons it was a terrible idea.

The rest of his body screamed that he couldn't take it in confinement any longer. His stomach ached from what he was certain was days without food. He head pounded from dehydration. The lights had burned out and no one had come to change them, and while the dark was usually where Rogue felt most at home, now he dreaded it. In the dark, his shadow was everywhere, mocking voice echoing all around him. It was like insanity had him surrounded and was closing in. He couldn't take it anymore.

The only real fear Rogue felt as he ran down the halls was what Sting might think. He was confident he could dodge the guards and get away, even out of practice from weeks of sitting obediently in a cell and weakened by hunger. He could manage on the run, somehow. He'd pulled it off for a few weeks as a kid, before Gajeel caught him rummaging through Phantom Lord's garbage. Now that he was an adult, he could probably manage indefinitely. Frosch was safe with Sting, and even if it hurt to leave her behind, it would be better that she not be with him while the law hunted him down.

Sting was an entirely different matter. What if he _had_ done everything he could? What if the trial was still going on—assuming it happened at all, and Rogue ruined all of Sting's hard work by running away. What if his breaking the law and escaping was taken by Sting as a sign that he _was_ going to turn evil. Sting, the one person who believed Rogue could retain his humanity even when Rogue was sure he was doomed to corruption.

 _You're already evil, or have you forgotten that I'm a part of you?_ The shadow whispered. _There's no_ turning _into what you always were_.

"You're not me!" Rogue snapped, which earned him a few confused grumblings from the inmates he ran past. So many full halls. The Council must have found an empty cell block to lock him in just to torment him.

He didn't know the exact way out, running haphazardly in whichever direction looked like it might have stairs leading up, and had come across a section of the prison with actual prisoners. This he took to be a good sign. He'd already gone up four floors before seeing anyone else in a cell, and recalling his suspicions that he was too much effort to make the trek out to see more than was needed by the prison guard, Rogue assumed that an abundant number of other prisoners meant he was nearing the entrance.

He took it as an even better sign that he was almost out when he dashed up another flight of stairs and into a group of armed guards.

They were all in full armor with weapons at the ready. From past visits to confirm dark mages he helped bring down, Rogue knew the guards usually wore weapons on their backs, and only protected vitals, since full armor was heavy, and only came out when they anticipated a fight. There was no need for that much protective gear on an average day. Had they been expecting him? Rogue hadn't noticed any traps to signal an alarm, and his cell had been devoid of magic entirely.

The thought of so many men forced to stand and wait, bored out of their skulls while the Council goaded Rogue to run for it, warmed a dark corner of his heart. Even if they only started standing guard when the Council decided to starve him, the idea satisfied Rogue. It was only wishful thinking, but it was nice to think he wasn't the only one who'd endured any grief over the cruel setup the Council laid out for him.

"Halt!" the one in front ordered, pointing a spear at Rogue. "Return without resistance to your cell, and we might not double your sentence."

For all Rogue knew, his sentence could be anything from one more day to thirty years, assuming the Council ever officially gave him one. Either way, that was too long trapped so far underground, deprived of human contact with only his shadow for company.

He moved to merge with the shadows and slip around the men, but saw his own shadow smiling at him and hesitated. Could he safely merge without being taken over? During his fight with Gajeel, all it took was to hear the shadow mocking him, and let is mental barrier loosen in his shock over realizing who's voice it was that he heard. He'd given that shadow so much validation the past weeks…

"Do you plan to submit?"

_Are you too afraid to even run?_

"Shut up!" Rogue snarled.

He'd directed it at his shadow, looked at his shadow, but the guard heard no shadow. Rogue was the only one who ever heard it, and so the man assumed Rogue spoke to him.

"You plan to fight then."

Rogue's head snapped up, realizing with a sickening sense of dread what had happened, and took a step back. "N-no. I…"

"We are prepared to subdue you by whatever means necessary."

Flee. He had to flee. Running away was already enough trouble to give Sting, and Rogue couldn't harm the guards on top of that. He'd merged with the shadows plenty since his own shadow first spoke to him without anything going wrong. It was how he got home at night. Steeling himself, Rogue sank into the darkness.

And everything went black.

-o-

How long Rogue was out, he didn't know. By the time he regained awareness it was night, although he had no idea what time it had been when he lost consciousness. What he did know was that he'd been in a prison before, and now he was in the middle of a forest. He stood stupidly in front of an oak tree, wondering where around Era there even _was_ a forest, before realizing what happened the last time he'd had a blank spot in his memory.

"Shadow?" Rogue looked around. "Where are you?"

_During the night? I'm everywhere._

"Fine. Be that way. Now where am _I?_ "

 _In the woods. Several miles outside Era_.

Rogue didn't know what else he'd expected, but that didn't make him any happier to hear such a worthless response. He turned in the direction where the shadow's voice was strongest, fists clenching, prepared to tell the accursed thing off, but stopped. He flexed his hands again, feeling something flake off, and held his hands up against the moonlight.

He stared at them, mind not wanting to process what he was looking at. Turning his hands over in the light, he straightened his fingers and watched another maroon flake fall off and land on the bridge of his nose.

Then he bent down and retched.

Blood. There was dried blood all over his hands, all the way up to his elbows. He could see but speckles of skin, and that was only where the blood had peeled off.

"They're alive," Rogue said. "Tell me those guards are alive."

 _Those guards are alive_ , his shadow said obligingly. _Now do you want me to tell you what really happened to them?_

Whatever it was, the other prisoners would be witnesses. It was only a matter of time before he was charged with whatever his shadow did. Murder, probably. He needed to know. He needed to know what he'd done and what calamity he'd brought upon himself by being too weak to keep his shadow at bay. He _needed_ to know.

"No."

 _Don't be like that. I'm you, remember? I know you're_ dying _to hear it. Or maybe you want to hear about the couple who saw the blood dripping off of you as we ran away. The girl screamed loud enough to wake the dead. Pity she's no longer able to wake herself.  
_

Rogue threw his hands over his ears. "No! No! Be quiet! I wouldn't do that! You couldn't make me do that!"

Silence.

Blissful silence.

He was getting dried blood on his ears…

Slowly, Rogue moved his trembling hands away, waiting for the shadow to taunt him again. Nothing came. His shadow was silent.

"H-hey. What happened?" Rogue asked, taking one step forward, than another, and then his legs gave out and he fell to his knees. They'd been shaking worse than his hands, he realized. "The guards. What did you do to them? Was… was there r-really a couple? I… didn't kill bystanders… did I?" He looked around, hoping to see his shadow's face, but nothing stood out in the darkness. "Shadow? Tell me. I… I need…"

He needed to know. What Sting might think of him breaking out was bad enough. If he was a murderer… if _the thing living in his shadow that absolutely was not him_ had used his body to kill…

A sob bubbled up in Rogue's throat, near suffocating as he tried to choke it down. The stress of it all, what everyone thought of him, what the Council put him through, what he'd done that he had no memory off, all crashed down on him with overwhelming pressure, and he threw his head up and wailed. Bloody hands flew over his face, blocking out the darkness that sought to consume him, and Rogue let all his anguish out in one, shrill note of despair.

He might have stayed there all night, sobbing as the shadow laughed at him, but when his throat grew hoarse and his tears dried up, Rogue remembered again that his arms were caked in blood. He wondered if he'd left any rehydrated red smudges on his face. As if he didn't already look deranged enough.

He'd killed. He killed the guards, who were only doing their job, even if that job was to torment them. Someone higher up would have ordered it. He killed an innocent couple. A girl and her lover who had done nothing wrong, except to spot him while he was possessed. They might not have even thought ill of him, and now he was covered with their blood. If his shadow killed them to stop there from being witnesses, then he must have killed the other inmates who saw the fight as well. How many people was that? Ten? Twenty? It could be a hundred, and it could have been five. Either way, it was too much.

There was blood on his hands. He hadn't been doomed to turn evil. There had been a chance for him to come out of everything good. Endure that one year of grief and then go back to his old life without anyone being able to say it was too dangerous to let him roam free. To prove everyone wrong and Sting right and not become that horrible person who came back in time just to kill them all. But now there was blood on his hands and even if he never became that future version of himself who had started the whole bloody mess, no one would ever think he was anything less than deranged.

If the shadow really was a part of him, they wouldn't be wrong to hate him either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case anyone hasn't figured out by now, an appropriate summary for the overall trend of this story would be "And then things got worse for Rogue." Don't worry, though. There's some hurt/comfort elements. It still gets worse, but it's a fluffy sort of worse.


	5. Besties

For Sting, a bad day had turned into a bad week, which turned into a bad month, which turned into all of autumn thus far pretty much being a bust. Granted, his summer wasn't as awful as Rogue's. Even without knowing just how bad this were for his friend in the wake of the Eclipse incident, Sting figured Rogue probably had it worse. He'd seen his friend sink deeper and deeper into depression all summer. Seeing your future self be so evil had to be hard enough. Sting couldn't even imagine what it was like to have half the country turn on you on top of that.

Sting had wanted so badly to rage at everyone. Decree that no one in Sabertooth was allowed to resent Rogue. Beat up anyone in town who he overheard wondering why Rogue hadn't been run off. Drag Rogue home with him and keep him safe from all the people who attacked him on the streets or broke into his house, which Rogue always tried to pretend didn't happen. Rogue was so much gentler a person than people assumed when they saw his face. It killed Sting inside to see his best friend subjected to all that. He'd tried his hardest to counteract all that hate. To make Rogue feel welcome and wanted and confident that he still had a place where he was safe. But he was only one person trying to balance out half of Fiore.

He'd been so scared that Rogue might run away. Hopeful for a few hours when Rogue agreed to take a job with him, and then sick to his stomach when Frosch showed up at his front door not long after. Hearing Frosch's account, that Rune Knights took Rogue away, was even worse than if he'd been told Rogue ran. There was so much resentment for him among those in the capitol and Council, especially since holding the royal family accountable for building the gate was too great a political nightmare for the Council to dare navigate, and Sting knew that neither was apt to play fair when they wanted to make an example of someone.

That things were worse for Rogue, however, did not mean they didn't suck for Sting. He'd spent roughly half his tenure as guild master with the mayor and most of his guild demanding to know why he didn't abandon his best friend, and the second half fighting the Council over that friend's arrest. He'd been threatened with his own arrest, restrictions on his legal rights, and even disbandment of his guild, and all he'd wanted was a chance to speak at Rogue's trial, and to visit his friend and promise that everything would be alright.

Not one thing he'd heard regarding Rogue since the arrest was good. There were the infuriating rumors, the one which most made Sting want to throttle someone being that Rogue was arrested when they found him holding a knife to Sting's throat. Then there was the arrest itself, and the subsequent denial of visitation. After that Sting took to begging anyone else he saw going to visit a prisoner to look for Rogue, and learned that no one could even find him within Era's prison. The worst that reached Sting's ears, however, was easily that Rogue was no longer detained. That bit of news came alongside an official statement saying that Rogue was suspected in the deaths of twelve guards, seven prisoners, and three civilians, and was wanted dead or alive.

After everything else that had happened since the Eclipse incident, Sting suspected that every guild in the country would be happy to help recapture Rogue, even before the Council threw in a nine figure reward for his return. That people were advised that _dead_ would be safer, since Rogue escaped the Council's highest security cells and thus would be hard to bring in alive, certainly didn't make Sting feel any better about his friend's safety.

As for the murders… of course Rogue hadn't been behind those. Granted, there _were_ that many bodies, and the deaths _did_ coincide with Rogue's escape, but Rogue wasn't a murderer. And even if he had killed those people, no doubt he'd been threatened, and forced to take such measures to protect himself. Except for the civilians… but they were out in the city. They could have been killed by anyone, and Rogue was merely framed for their deaths. Murders in a city weren't unheard of. The timing could easily be bad luck.

Sting still told everyone that he _totally_ believed Rogue was guilty. After all, Rogue's future self had murdered his own future self, right? Of course he would be on guard as soon as Rogue showed signs of cracking.

Everyone else already believed that, so what harm could he do in agreeing? As it was, unless they found undeniable evidence that someone else killed those men, Rogue would forever be guilty in the eyes of the public. They wouldn't let Sting search for him unless he acted betrayed, and he was willing to act if it gave him a chance to find Rogue before someone with ill intent could. In the meantime, he could distract himself from thinking of what might happen should someone else find Rogue first by thinking of ways he might be able to hide his friend from the law.

The easy, super obvious answer was to offer his shadow for Rogue to hide in. Sting's house had a basement, as did the guild. He could hide Rogue at home, renovate the guild's basement into something decent for living in, pretend it was some big restricted area for highly confidential guild records, and move Rogue in there. The only tricky part would be that anyone with half a brain would check shadows to see if Rogue had merged with them.

That concern made Sting grateful he'd brought Frosch along on his search. The initial thought process behind that was to lure Rogue out using Frosch, but if Frosch could fly him to some high up hiding spot, then go over the heads of everyone hunting for Rogue come nighttime…

Sting desperately hoped that would work. If not, he wasn't sure he could keep Rogue alive.

The report was that people had seen a large number of shadows receding into the woods south of Era, so Sting joined the mages hiking through them in search of his friend.

Meeting Rogue somewhere in the woods without anyone else seeing them would be tough. As near as Sting could tell, at least one wizard from every guild had joined in the hunt. At least half of the country's guilds hung around Crocus even after failing to pass the preliminary round for the Games, and virtually all of them had lost at least one member trying to defend against the dragons. That so many people were willing to help search for Rogue came as no surprise. Nor did the obnoxious realization that several of those mages chose to keep an eye on Sting. After all, who else was Rogue most likely to show himself to?

Sting did his best to lose them without making it obvious. He lingered in one place or another for far longer than any sane person would, making a show of poking at every last shadow and softly calling out Rogue's name. A few tails grew bored and left from that alone. The last three Sting managed to ditch by pretending to hear something and running after it. He ran nearly a mile before finding a thick screen of bush to duck behind, then had Lector fly him away from that area before anyone still following could see them take off.

Once as alone as he could manage, Sting began a more serious search for Rogue. With so many people trampling through the woods it wasn't easy, but after a little wandering Sting found Rogue's scent and followed it all the way back to where they'd been told he was suspected to have entered the woods. Realizing he'd followed the trail in the wrong direction, Sting turned and restarted.

It was getting dark by the time the trail ended, and Sting didn't need the loss of a scent to tell this was where Rogue stopped. He could see Rogue crouched in the brush just fine. Why Rogue hadn't hidden himself in the shadows, Sting didn't know, but at least his friend had the good sense to duck between the bushes so he wouldn't be as easy to spot.

He was curled up, hands tucked between his legs, which were pressed to his chest, and face buried in his knees. He looked about as cheerful as one would expect after breaking out of jail after two months of imprisonment without trial. All along Sting had known that Rogue would almost certainly regress once locked up, but he'd still hoped that Rogue would be the same as before the Eclipse when they reunited.

First thing's first, Sting put a hand over Frosch's mouth so she wouldn't speak too loudly and give them away. Then he looked around to make sure no one else was nearby as he approached, and let himself get so caught up in his check that it startled him into jumping when Rogue spoke.

"Go away."

"I'm here to help," Sting said. "I've got a plan to sneak you out before anyone else finds you."

"No."

No? The word was so strange that Sting couldn't even process it, much less form a response. Did Rogue not _want_ to be rescued? Did he not realize the forest was full of mages advised to kill him? While he stared stupidly at Rogue, Rogue lifted his head, starting at Sting's hands rather than making eye contact. For some reason, he had red smudges around his eyes.

"There's a search for me?"

"Yeah. Well… You broke out of jail."

A slight tremble of the lip, then Rogue asked, "Is that all?"

"They think you killed a few guards," Sting added. "I think they're just trying to pin you for whatever they can, personally."

Rogue shut his eyes tight and shook his head. "You should leave."

"You already told me that, and I'm still not going anywhere. We can fix this. I promise."

"No we can't." Rogue drew his hands out from between his legs and held them up for Sting to see. Red-brown flakes clung to the cracks in his palm, and his sleeves were stained. "I think I killed those guards. I think I killed a lot of people."

An immediate response, one to assure Rogue that Sting still believed in him and his innate goodness, was the proper method of consolation in this situation. Looking at those bloody stains, Sting instead found himself unable to speak. Even when he finally found his voice, all he could get out was, "You think?"

"I don't remember any of it. I… I broke out. There was nothing in the cell stopping me from using magic, so I slipped between the bars. I only… I was only going to run away, but when I tried to merge with the shadows to dodge those guards… I don't know. It's all blank after that. The next thing I knew I was here, and I was covered in blood."

Rogue teared up talking, and lifted a hand to rub his eye. Realizing where those red smudges came from, Sting's stomach did a flip. Still, he tried to keep a calm exterior. One of them had to keep a level head. Failing that, he at least had to _appear_ calm. For Rogue's sake.

"I… how bad was it? In the reports…? Did I… really… I didn't kill civilians I passed on the street, did I? I didn't…"

At this point it became too much. Rogue's head dropped again as he burst into tears.

"R-Rogue?"

Sting took a step forward and reached out to put a hand on his friends shoulder, but hesitated and drew back, turning away and instead pretending to still look around. Rogue was in no state to defend himself or run, should anyone come by and notice Sting talking to someone.

"I'm going to leave Frosch with you," Sting decided, speaking too softly for anyone else to hear and not looking Rogue's way. "I'll stay nearby. We're going to sneak you out."

"You shouldn't," Rogue choked out. "I killed… I…"

"We'll sort this all out, Rogue. I promise. For now, I'm most worried about someone killing _you_. Frosch, you keep quiet, okay? Your job is to fly Rogue somewhere safe if anyone else sees him."

Sting had removed his hand from Frosch's mouth when reaching for Rogue, but the little frog-cat had held her tongue since then anyway. She nodded mutely, and hopped down from Sting's arms to sit by Rogue's side.

Rogue lifted his head just enough to look at her, and she smiled up at him. He winced, and looked up to Sting, wet eyes screaming that it wasn't fair to leave Frosch with him. He couldn't possibly chase her off or fight her if she put her all into pulling him to safety, which was why Sting was willing to risk this. Then again, Rogue also clearly no longer trusted himself (again), and given how worried he'd been after his future self's attack about Frosch's safety, leaving the two alone while Rogue wasn't sure he wouldn't hurt her might not help his mental state.

"Lector, you too," Sting said. Unlike Rogue, he trusted Rogue not to kill their cats. So he saw no harm in giving Rogue a little extra assurance. "If you think Frosch is in trouble, pull _her_ out."

"Y-yes, Sting." Lector said. Similar to Frosch, he who hadn't dared say a word since they saw Rogue, went and sat down next to Frosch.

"And make sure Frosch keeps quiet."

"Will do."

Sting nodded, satisfied with this. "Alright, Rogue. I'm going to pretend to look for you elsewhere. Once it's dark, Lector and Frosch are going to help sneak you out to… to um…" He should have thought of this part in advance. "There's an old crumbling church. We passed it on the way here. Can you find it again, Lector?"

"I sure can."

"Good. Take Rogue there. I'll meet up with you as soon as it won't look suspicious for me to leave."

-o-

Sting wound up faking a search well into the night before he could beg off on account of fatigue. Overhearing a conversation as he left between two mages discussion how exactly they would do Rogue in, he decided to use their mentality as an excuse not to continue helping with the search any longer. He'd said he believed Rogue was guilty and would help look. He'd never said anything about killing a longtime friend, much less for some sort of sadistic pleasure.

Aware of the fact that he was still a prime suspect as an accomplice of Rogue's, Sting was careful to make sure no one tailed him on his way to the rundown church. When he arrived, he found Rogue half naked, bloody clothes gone. The blood had been wiped from his hands and face as well, which Sting was relieved to see until he noticed that Lector was the one wiping the last bits of dried blood off of Rogue's arm. Rogue himself was listless.

"Have you eaten today?" Sting asked.

"I don't know what I've done."

"Do you remember eating today?"

Rogue had to think before shaking his head. "Not for the past few days."

It had only been two full day since Rogue's breakout, and Sting hoped that was what Rogue meant. "We'll have to get you something first thing when we get home. It's easier to face the world on a full stomach." It was also easier to pretend a good warm meal was all it would take to fix his friend. "When did you eat last?"

"I don't know. four or five days, I think. I lost track."

It took Sting a whole day to find Rogue and arrange his escape from the woods, and there had been a full day before that where everyone knew Rogue ran away, but no one was entirely sure where to look for him. Sting refused to believe Rogue hadn't gone more than a day in prison without food, because even one day without eating anything was one too many. Rogue wasn't emotionally stable, so he mixed up his numbers. That was all.

"How about water. Tell me you kept hydrated."

"He can still cry," Lector pointed out. "He must have some water in him."

"There was a stream..." Rogue muttered. Sting hoped Rogue hadn't cupped water from it in those bloodied hands, because he could only imagine Rogue being too out of it to realize he was drinking someone's blood.

"Let's get you home quick," Sting decided. The faster they got there, the faster he could get Rogue fed and clothed in something that wasn't bloody. Once those major physical obstacles were crossed, there might be room to try and work through what happened, and help Rogue to cope with it. "Lector and I will fly in front. I'll land, make sure no one figured out that waiting outside my house is a good way to find you, and give you a signal once it's all clear. Lights on in my bedroom window will mean it's safe for you and Frosch to land. We can figure the rest out from there."

Rogue shook his head.

"Let me guess. You're dangerous and you're going to kill me in eight months so I need to stay away from you."

Rogue nodded.

"Not buying it. We've got seven months and twenty-nine days to part ways if it turns out there's a real risk anyway. Now you're coming home with me and getting a good warm meal if I have to knock you out and drag you there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are looking up. And I totally promise that they'll keep trending in that direction. No fingers crossed behind my back or nothin'.


	6. Confessional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sting feeds Rogue cinnamon toast, and Rogue recounts his escape.

All Rogue wanted to do was go to sleep and never wake up again, but Sting kept insisting he do other things first. Nuisances like eating spaghetti, drinking juice, taking a hot bath, and putting on pajamas. Granted, after two cold nights outside, the bath felt amazing, and the clean clothes kept him warm. He'd given in to bodily needs a few times wandering the woods and drank from a stream—dipping his face into the water rather than cupping his bloody hands to drink from, but clean, sweet juice tasted wonderful after so many weeks of prison slop if anything, and he ended up guzzling three glasses before he felt satisfied. After Sting forced the first bite down his throat, it was possible that Rogue also gorged on spaghetti until he felt he'd throw up, stomach eager to be filled after what he suspected was almost a five or six days of nothing.

Only once Rogue was warm and clean and full did Sting drag a couch and a pile of blankets down to the basement and tell Rogue to go to sleep there.

"It's kinda cold down there, but there's no windows, so on one can see you from outside. You'll have time to hide if anyone tries to search for you."

That explained why Sting had insisted Rogue not enter any lit rooms. Fatigue and starvation had denied Rogue the ability to properly contemplate that one earlier. As it was, he still couldn't quite work out how on earth he would know to hide, things like good hearing and an inhumanly sharp sense of smell having been forgotten in his brain haze.

But that was fine. A cold basement was more than a murderer like him deserved. Rogue rose drowsily form Sting's kitchen table and let himself be guided down into the basement. It was only after Sting sat him on the couch that Rogue took a look around and realized a flaw in the plan.

"Where am I supposed to hide when it's all your things are pressed tight against the wall?"

"I don't know. Those things' shadows?"

Rogue grimaced. His shadow hadn't spoken to him in over a day now, but he knew it was still there. Would it take over his mind again the next time he used his magic? If nothing else, he didn't dare risk merging with shadows any time in the near future. His own shadow, as a consequence of physics, came in contact with any other shadow Rogue touched, meaning that whatever dark force his magic had conjured up, it existed in every other shadow he worked with, so long as he was still working with it.

He would rather die than lose himself again.

"I can't."

"I've seen you do it all the time."

"I can't!" Rogue cried. "No magic! I don't want to kill you!"

"Rogue, you've used magic plenty without killing me."

Tugging at Sting's shirt, Rogue frantically shook his head. "No! My magic… when I… That's what made me black out, Sting!"

"Okay. Okay. I'll set something else up to hide you. No magic."

Sting's puzzled tone told Rogue he wasn't understood, but his words could be trusted none the less. Even before Sting became guild master, he hadn't been one to say something without fully intending to follow through on it. Rogue's grip relaxed. If Sting said they'd come up with something free of magic, they would.

He needed to tell Sting about the shadow. Especially now, after it compelled him to kill. It was no longer something Rogue could make excuses for. No longer a matter of worrying Sting might think he was crazy or faking it. His _shadow_ made him commit _murder_. Whether he was mistaken for crazy or not, someone needed to be warned. Yet when he tried to tell Sting, he found himself unable to muster the words. To admit that something so thoroughly out of control could make him do something so terrible was too hard. He was a monster and a murderer, but here Sting was giving him food and clothes and still calling him a friend. The thought of losing the affection of someone so dear who would even risk the steep legal penalties for helping a cold blooded murderer for the sake of their friendship was unbearable.

Rogue wanted to tell Sting about the shadow, but what he finally managed to get out was, "Can you leave the lights on?"

"You hate sleeping when it's light," Sting reminded him.

"I don't want to be in the dark."

"Well… alright." Sting leaned forward and wrapped Rogue in a tight hug. "You hang in there until morning, okay? I promise we'll get through this."

"Yeah."

"Do you want Frosch and Lector to stay down here with you?"

Frosch was afraid of basements, and Lector was Sting's partner. Neither had even dared go down the stairs when Sting helped him into the basement. Rogue had no illusions about how unenthused both would be with the idea of sleeping on a couch in a basement with him. Nevermind the detail that they'd be sleeping with a murderer.

"If they want."

To Rogue's surprise, Sting didn't even have to relay this message before a pink blur zipped down the stairs and into his lap. He almost didn't trust his eyes when he looked down to see Frosch hugging him tight, and the sight made him tear up. They realized he was a murderer, didn't they? How many people had he killed, and yet they still stuck by him.

"Rogue?"

Rogue looked up to see Lector come down as well.

"You don't want to sleep with Sting?"

"I can do that any other night," Lector said. "Sting has to stay upstairs in case anyone comes, and someone needs to look after you."

"Frosch can."

Lector was polite enough not to snort, but Sting couldn't help himself. Trying to be diplomatic about it, Lector said, "Frosch will want to catch up with you more than anything. She really missed you. It took her weeks to stop crying after they took you away, and ever since, all she's done is asked if you're okay and when you're coming home."

Rogue's throat felt tight, and he nearly choked on the words, "I see. I'm sorry to have worried you."

"For getting arrested?" Sting asked. "That's not _your_ fault. It was the Council that decided to tuck you away in a cell and hope everyone forgot about you. What's worrying us is how you're acting now. 'I'm not hungry Sting. Just let me waste away.' You're scaring us with crap like that."

Another time, Rogue might have blushed to have Sting repeat something like that from him. At the moment, Rogue still wasn't opposed to the idea of not waking up after he went to bed. Rather than start and argument with Sting over whether or not what he did warranted that kind of reaction, Rogue bowed his head and said, "It isn't safe for you to be around me."

Sting beamed. "Well, you're worth the risk."

Liar.

Rogue wanted to scream. He _wasn't_ safe. His shadow could take over him again and kill them all. He didn't even know how to stop it. He was grasping at straws for how to stop it. He might not be able to warn anyone if he felt it about to happen. Sting would never see it coming. That was probably how he killed Sting in the bad future his other self came from.

He had to warn them about the shadow, but he couldn't get the words out. The closest Rogue managed was to tell the cats, "If I start to act weird, promise you'll run straight to Sting."

"You've been acting weird since we found you," Lector said.

"Weirder."

Lector shrugged. "Sure. If it helps you get to sleep."

-o-

After everything else that happened, it took Rogue some time after he woke up to make sense of his situation. He was underground in a windowless room, which he'd gotten used to, but he was on a plush couch rather than a straw mat. His clothes were too tight, his blankets too warm, and there were two cats snuggled up with him. Only once he realized it was Lector resting by his head and Frosch sprawled out on his chest did Rogue remember he was in Sting's basement and not a prison cell.

Rogue lay there, unwilling to disturb Frosch and Lector's sleep, and went over everything that had happened in his mind. The arrest. The weeks of questionable imprisonment. The escape. Blacking out and coming to covered in blood. Hiding in the woods and wondering whether or not to turn himself in. Sting finding him. Sting refusing to abandon him. Sting helping him get home. Sting feeding him and clothing him. Sting doing everything he could to keep Rogue functioning…

He needed to find Sting.

Shifting and waking the cats, Rogue pushed himself upright and onto his feet, prepared to go upstairs and tell Sting how grateful he was. He'd only made it up two steps when the door opened and Sting stepped down, carrying a plate of scrambled eggs with cheese and ham, a piece of toasted cinnamon bread in his mouth.

" 'Ogue. Ait jus' a mi'it."

Whatever that meant, Rogue stepped back out of Sting's way.

Sting hurriedly ate his toast as he descended the stairs, and handed Rogue the eggs and ham when he reached the bottom.

"Breakfast. Even after last night, I bet you're still hungry."

Loathe those he was to admit it, Rogue was famished. He muttered a hurried thanks before digging in.

"How was he last night?" Sting asked the cats.

Frosch, bless her heart, was still asleep, but not looking half as content as before. Lector, somewhat awake, rubbed an eye and sleepily reported, "Nothing unusual beyond what you witnessed. He tried to make us keep a distance from him, but when Frosch started crying because she thought he hated her, told us to get on the couch with him but run at the first sign of trouble."

Sting nodded and turned back to Rogue, who was already done scarfing down his breakfast. "How are you feeling after getting some food and a good night's sleep?"

"Still dangerous," Rogue told him, "but better."

"Good. I don't suppose you could tell me what happened?"

Rogue looked down, unsure how to respond. Sting deserved an answer, for being so kind, if not because there was a good chance he was in danger for continuing to stand by Rogue. Admitting to his shadow frightened Rogue, because what if there was nothing Sting could do to help once he knew? What if it wasn't some dark aspect of his magic, but the first signs of mental instability?

Either way, he needed help, and he wouldn't get it by hiding his problems.

"I don't know," Rogue admitted. "I really don't. They locked me in a cell away from everyone else, and the guard never spoke to me. I didn't know if I'd been sentenced or if they even started my trial."

"They didn't. I practically declared war on the Council trying to get them to at least announce a court date."

Rogue suspected as much. Hearing he was right was bittersweet. On the one hand, it was additional affirmation that Sting hadn't abandoned him, if he still needed any. On the other, that the Council intended to tuck him away forever in a forgotten corner of the prison without even properly convicting him was horrifying to consider. And then there was the question of whether they'd been right to do that, however horrible it sounded at first.

"So? They locked you up, and then…?"

"Oh. Right. The guard came less and less often. For a while, he brought enough food to last me until his next visit, but at some point, he stopped showing up completely. They put me in a regular cell, so I thought… I hadn't done anything wrong by that point, and if no one came soon I'd starve to death. I thought it would be better to run and… I don't know… cross the border maybe. It beat dying."

"You could join Crime Sorciere," Sting joked. "Rumor has it they're all outlaws who like to do good."

"I met one of them," Rogue reminded Sting. "She tried to kill me, and then one of future me's dragons killed her. I don't think they'd take me."

He didn't think anyone but Sting would, at this point.

"A-anyway. I ran, and when I reached one hall, there were guards waiting for me. I tried to merge with my shadow to slip around them, but then…"

"Then…?"

"It's all blank. The next thing I knew I was in the woods, and there was blood up to my elbows. My shadow…"

Rogue's breath hitched, and he had to stop there.

"You lost control of your magic?"

Rogue hoped Sting didn't notice his voice went a few octaves higher when he said, "In a sense."

No luck. "Shit. Are you about to cry? Sit back down. We don't have to work this all out right now."

Yeah, because the people Rogue had killed weren't going to come back no matter how long it took to tell Sting everything. Rogue let out a single, bitter laugh and let Sting guide him back onto the couch.

"My shadow speaks to me," Rogue blurted out the second his butt hit the cushion.

"What."

"My shadow," Rogue repeated. "Even since I fought Gajeel in the games, from time to time I've heard it speak to me. Telling me to… um… do things. Bad things. Natsu said my future self… he claimed the shadows swallowed him up. Ever since, I wondered if that's what he meant. My shadow gaining control of me. I don't remember most of my fight with Gajeel. I don't even know how I got this scar." He tapped his nose. "We talked, I remember that, but afterwards it's all blank until I found myself beaten to a bloody pulp on the floor. Afterward, everyone said I suddenly became belligerent and fought like a savage. I thought I must have been hit in the head real hard but…"

He paused, waiting for Sting to prompt him further, and was met with silence.

"A-anyway, ever since, my shadow's spoken to me. To mock me or poke at my insecurities, or to tell me that I'm absolutely going to turn into _that_ person. I've done my best to ignore it, but once they locked me up in an empty hall and left me alone… I caved. I spoke back. I don't know if that's what did it. I guess my shadow took over me once before, in that fight, but it still feels like giving in and speaking to my shadow let… let it _in_ to me somehow."

This was the point where Rogue expected Sting to suggest a psychiatrist, if one could be seen while he was wanted for murder, or maybe question if he was feverish or still somehow sleep deprived. A schizophrenia diagnosis would get him put in a looney bin for the criminally insane rather than a prison, come to think of it. Since it was possible he was just insane, Rogue had to keep that potential outcome in mind for if he was recaptured.

He had to be mad. He fully expected to be told he'd lost it, and be sent back out on his own because he wasn't mentally stable and sooner or later, he _would_ kill Sting. Instead, Sting placed a hand on Rogue's shoulder and offered his best consoling smile.

Drawing in a shaky breath, Rogue continued. "When I escaped, I tried to merge with my shadow to get around the guards. I didn't want to fight them and get myself into any more trouble than I was already going to be in. Then… it's all blank again, like during the fight with Gajeel. The next thing I knew, I was outside or Era, in those woods, with blood all over me. My shadow mocked me and told me about everyone I'd killed and… that's really all I know. I killed those people in prison, and my shadow said I killed a couple that screamed when they saw me run by. I snapped at it, and it hasn't spoken since."

"There were three bystanders, according to the official report," Sting told him. "I don't remember the exact number of guards and prisoners. Um… less than twenty, I think. You really don't remember any of that?"

Rogue shook his head.

"Well, I guess we'll assume your shadow killed them. Not sure how that holds up in the court of law, but if I can find something saying it works as a defense, I'll give it a shot."

" _What?_ " Rogue spun around to gape at Sting. "You're still… Sting! My shadow could take over at any time. I'm _sure_ that's how I'll end up killing you. Aren't you worried?"

"Nah. My thing's light. Why would I be scarred of a shadow?" Sting gave Rogue's shoulder a playful shake, then rose to his feet. "I have to get to the guild soon. Oh… and Lector and Frosch should probably come with me. I've kept them at my side since you left, and it would look suspicious if they suddenly stopped following me around. _Don't_ leave the basement. If you're afraid to hide in the shadows, move a couple boxes around so you _can_ hide somewhere if anyone searches the place."

"I can't believe you're hiding me. I probably killed twenty people."

"Your shadow did. Once we've dealt with that guy, there's nothing to worry about." The grin Sting flashed only lasted a second. "Except the whole 'wanted dead or alive' thing. But I'll fix that. Somehow. Just make yourself a hiding spot. Go through my stuff if you want. I'll get books and stuff for you to keep yourself occupied with tomorrow."

On his way back upstairs, Sting almost flicked the basement light off. Remembering at the last second that Rogue was now afraid of the dark, or rather, afraid of a shadow that would be more contained while in the light, he caught himself and pulled his hand away from the switch.

Lector and Frosch at his feet, Sting smiled from the top of the stairs, waved goodbye, and shut the basement door. And just like that, Rogue was alone in underground confinement again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a few stabs at writing this fic before, but always gave up when I couldn't quite work out a solid direction to go with it. (The original version was a Rogue/Natsu where Sting abandoned Rogue after learning he was supposed to be killed. This was back before the Eclipse arc was resolved in the manga.) I almost gave up this time too, but when I was revising this chapter I was struck with inspiration. If you're glad this story got far enough for me to post it, you should thank chapter 6 for helping me with that.


	7. Probing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rufus is suspicious and Sting comes to him for information anyway.

"What all do you remember about shadow magic?"

Rufus's face darkened the second Sting asked. "Is this about Rogue?"

"Obviously."

"I'm surprised you aren't still searching for him."

"I have a guild to run." Sting tried to shrug casually, but failed. Then again, who expected him to casually brush off concerns about Rogue anyway? As far as anyone else still knew, Rogue was still missing and possibly dead. Or on a killing spree. "I couldn't find him, and I don't have the time to keep looking. If he's still missing once I'm caught up on everything here, I'll head back out, I promise you that."

To try and give his claims credence, Sting turned his gaze then to a growing stack of papers on his desk. For his first month as guild master, Sting had roped Rogue into helping with all the paperwork involved with the job. He'd been woefully unrepaired to handle it all himself, much less handle it all while regularly traveling to Era to demand to visit Rogue or hear a date for his trial. That a lot of his time at the guild had been spent trying to find legal precedents that might help Rogue didn't improve the regular paperwork situation either. He had a two week backlog of important documents needing immediate attention, and a stack of less essential paperwork as tall as his arm was long.

It came as a tremendous relief when Rufus grabbed that stack, flipping through for all the pages that were only records of who took what job. "I remember where these go. If clearing your desk will get you on the hunt for Rogue faster, then let's be done with this as fast as we can."

"Thanks." Sort of. Until he had a chance to renovate the guild's basement into a real living space for Rogue, it would be tricky arranging so that his friend had enough to eat without being able to safely sneak up to the kitchen. Sting wanted to avoid leaving home for extended periods of time until he had a better arrangement for Rogue. Not to mention the very real concern that Rogue would hang himself if left alone too long.

"To answer your previous question, you would be the most informed on Rogue's magic, outside of Rogue himself," Rufus said. "We only saw him during performance events, such as the Games. You would have observed his magic at work whenever you two took jobs."

"But you can copy it, can't you?" Sting asked. "I thought your magic was copying what you saw, so you might have known something about how his powers work from firsthand experience."

"I used maker magic. I can make spells with a shadow aspect to them from observing Rogue. I can't perform those spells the same way a dragon slayer would. Why?"

"I wondered if… You know that stereotype about villains using dark magic? I thought that maybe something in Rogue's magic caused him to kill those people."

"I think Rogue is unstable," Rufus replied. "His future self gloated about killing you, did he not? It might be worth considering that dark magic does not make people bad, but that bad people chose to learn dark magic."

That was an okay theory if you ignored that Rogue learned shadow magic because it was what his father knew. And besides…

"His future self said he was swallowed by the shadows."

"Did he? I missed that part."

"Rogue is…" afraid that using his magic would make him go crazy, but Sting couldn't say that without giving away that he and Rogue at least made contact. "Rogue isn't evil, and he's more grounded than me. I'm _sure_ something made him do that. If it had to do with his magic, then I thought sealing his powers might… I don't know… save him."

"He killed twenty-two people, if you don't want to count everyone who died fighting the dragons. What's left to save?"

"My friend."

Sting fixed Rufus with the most stubborn, pissed off look he could muster. Rufus, feeling Sting's eyes on his back, fumbled with a binder he'd been sorting sheets into and spilled the pages everywhere.

"Pick that up," Sting ordered.

As Rufus gathered all the paged together and began the long, arduous task of resorting them, he said, "I can look around for any evidence of sealing magic that can reverse… corruption? If I find anything, I'll bring it to you. I would expect, however, that corrupted by magic or no, Rogue will still receive a life sentence."

True enough. Assuming Rogue's shadow was out to possess him, nothing Sting did to stop that would change the fact that the Council wanted him dead. It might end up being that they had to leave the country. Rogue couldn't live in a basement forever, after all.

That's what Rogue's life would be if they didn't move across borders, too. It might even require leaving the content to escape Rogue's reputation, and the more Sting thought about it, the more he realized they would have to go. Rogue _needed_ to be able to get outside. Being trapped in one little building wasn't good for a cat, much less a fully grown person. Working out some way for him to roam around outside while staying with Sabertooth was too risky. Eventually they'd slip up and Rogue would be seen, and it wouldn't take a genius to figure out who might hide Rogue in the area around his old guild.

Not to mention the isolation. The current situation was that Rogue could only be seen by those Sting knew wouldn't turn him in. At the present time, people Sting trusted consisted of himself, Frosch, and Lector. Rogue, sadly, did not make the list. Those in the guild who hadn't turned on Rogue after losing friends to the dragons, those who'd still held out on the idea that he wasn't evil yet and might never be, had joined the ranks of those criticizing Sting for his loyalty after Rogue killed those guards. Most of the town never even spoke to Sabertooth mages back when Genma ran the guild, and wouldn't come to Rogue's aide now.

Other guilds were out of the question. Sabertooth never made an attempt at allying with other guilds, and Sting didn't dare try now. Those guilds had suffered the closest losses from the dragon attack. Even the master of Fairy Tail had informed Sting that for as much as he personally didn't want to blame Rogue, they'd lost enough mages that he couldn't guarantee the rest of the guild would feel the same way. At the time, Rogue had been too numb with shock of hearing what his future self did to pay much attention, but Sting distinctly remembered the blue-haired Fairy girl in the distance, being held back by her friends as she screamed vengeance for the loss of Gray. When even Fairy Tail wasn't willing to ally themselves with you, you were socially fucked.

If Sting planned to stay with Rogue, he definitely wouldn't be able to stay in Fiore. The issue of the shadow needed to be resolved as fast as possible, and then they'd move somewhere far enough away that no one would look twice at Rogue. Pendragon, or maybe even Alvarez.

If the issue _wasn't_ the shadow… By default Sting had to believe his friend, but he did have to acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, this wasn't Rogue's magic going rogue. The possibility was there that Rogue was losing his mind. Should that turn out to be the case, Sting would _definitely_ need to get them out of the country, because Fiore preferred locking the criminally insane away to giving them a chance to get psychiatric help. He wouldn't put it past Rogue to plead insanity to ensure he was detained in a more thoroughly fortified unit either.

"Orga was also a friend."

The words snapped Sting out of his thoughts. It took him a moment to registered who'd said them, but once he realized Rufus was the only one in the room with them, he focused his attention on the man and asked, "What?"

"Orga was also a friend," Rufus repeated. "For as much as friendships were something we dealt with before you took over, Orga was one of us. He was someone we were close to, and who we worked alongside. Rogue killed him."

"Rogue _might_ travel back in time _seven years from now_ and cause an attack that Orga died _during_ ," Sting corrected. "He didn't kill Orga. His future self didn't hunt Orga down and personally slay him. Rogue hasn't done any of that yet, and maybe if everyone didn't treat him like he has, whatever pushed him to the point of killing those guards wouldn't have happened. _Our_ Rogue stayed by Orga's side for his last moments and promised we would save the city."

Rufus raised an eyebrow. "You seem convinced today."

"Since when have I _not_ been convinced Rogue can be saved?"

"You seem convinced he did killed the guards. Yesterday, I was certain you were lying when you told the Rune Knights you thought he had it in him. What changed?"

He found Rogue in blood soaked clothes, rambling about how his shadow claimed to have killed people.

"I saw pictures of the scene," Sting said. "I could see how you'd pull that off with his magic."

He _had_ been able to see pictures of the crime scene. He'd noticed the signs of Rogue's handiwork immediately, but when they showed everyone helping search the pictures of what Rogue did, Sting still refused to admit it could be him. Now, knowing that there was almost no chance it wasn't Rogue, he was grateful that so many people there at the time weren't as experienced at spotting his lies.

"I heard they were brutal. Civilians he passed on the street were slaughtered, too."

Sting wasn't the brightest bulb (and was sick to death of people making that joke) but he could still recognize that Rufus was baiting him. He thought his answer through, careful not to seem too blindly loyal to Rogue, or too quick to turn on him. The best way to keep anyone from searching his house, and thus to keep Rogue safe, was to appear to gradually give in to the idea that, yes, Rogue really did need to be brought to justice. He'd convinced the Rune Knights that he thought that, but if his own guild—where everyone knew him too well—decided to report that he was faking it, then they'd investigate him for sure.

"He wasn't brutal. Not to the civilians, at least. It looked like he gave them a quick death. And if they were going to scream… I mean… He shouldn't have, but he didn't kill them at random. It was mostly the guards that he… um… tore apart."

The weakening of Sting's voice the more he talked wasn't an act, so he hoped Rufus found it convincing.

"Suppose something can be done to turn Rogue back to how he was before," Rufus said. "If he's possessed or corrupted or brainwashed and it can be undone. Then what? If someone controlled his every move, there's a precedent for pardoning those crimes, but as I remember there was another infamous criminal who someone claimed to have brainwashed, only for the Council to say that if he still had control of his motions, it didn't matter in the eyes of the law what anyone else planted in his mind. You might be able to argue that Rogue hasn't killed everyone who died during the Eclipse incident _yet_ , but that doesn't change that there are twenty-two people dead. Twenty-two grieving families who Rogue most definitely already killed the loved ones of."

"Some of the victims were other criminals."

"Being held for minor offenses. One man was only there for embezzlement. He was due for release in only a month. His fiancée waited for him the entire time he was in jail."

"Well…" Sting wasn't sure how to respond to that, and had to steer the conversation elsewhere. "Then we can help him regain his sanity so he'll cooperate with the prison guards next time. And if we can prove he wasn't completely in control of himself, maybe they'll at least reduce his sentence. What happened to the last guy who was arrested for something he did while brainwashed?"

"They never verified that he'd been brainwashed," Rufus said, "so for all we know, he wasn't. As I recall, the woman who claimed to have brainwashed him broke him out of prison before the Council could do anything past say they didn't find it a valid cause for pardon. I believe he was to be executed, so I can see why she did so."

Negotiating a shorter prison stint, should they find a way to rid Rogue of his shadow, was never an plan that Sting had strongly considered. Now he nixed the idea completely. He had no faith in the Council's mercy after hearing about Rogue's captivity, but he might still be able to pretend he though Rogue would be shown leniency if proven to be under the influence of someone else.

"Well, maybe you can see why I'd want to find something to help Rogue, then," Sting said. "Er… That other man… did he kill twenty-two people too?"

"He was charged with treason, enslavement, attempting to incite war, attempted first degree murder, attempted second degree murder, _successful_ voluntary manslaughter—although I think they could only prove one death, and attempted necromancy."

So twenty-one fewer deaths, but whoever that guy was, there was no way treason and attempting to incite war made his crimes smaller scale than killing people while breaking out of prison. Especially when you were imprisoned wrongfully, even if the Council would never admit that they'd done so.

Under another governing body, proving Rogue's shadow real, proving the Council's abuse real, and stopping Rogue's shadow would be enough to at least give Rogue a very light sentence. Under the Council, which Sting knew to fabricate evidence when someone they didn't like didn't look guilty enough, Sting saw no point.

Fleeing the country it was. But he was still suspect number one for anyone who might help Rogue out, so he couldn't leave immediately. The Council had border patrol set up to catch such a dangerous criminal, since Rogue had been missing long enough that people worried he could have run anyway. Sting wasn't the only one to consider Rogue leaving the country.

Realizing Rufus was waiting for a response, Sting said, "Well, that man's crimes were worse. Kind of. Maybe they'll be more willing to lessen Rogue's sentence."

"That would be a sight to remember."

-o-

Sting got home late, having stayed well past sunset looking for records of a person's magic corrupting them and making plans for basement renovations. It hadn't been an entire bust. He'd found a precedent for corruptive magic. Now if only he could follow that precedent all the way to shadow slayers.

In the interest of time, he sent the cats ahead to order takeout, picked the food up on the way home, and grabbed two plates from his kitchen before heading down into the basement to eat with Rogue.

No sooner had he opened the basement down than was he tackled with such force that he had to brace himself against the doorframe, lest he and Rogue fall out into the hallway where someone looking in the window might see them. Under different circumstances he might have yelled, but because the tackle turned into a bear hug from an overjoyed looking Rogue, Sting couldn't quite find the will to get angry.

"I take it you missed me."

"Never leave me alone again!"

For a second, the plea warmed Sting's heart. Then his heart chilled and sank as he thought to ask, "Did your shadow try to talk to you again?"

"No. Well… no. I just… after the last few months…"

"Oh. Right." The Council isolated Rogue for over a month, so of course Rogue would still be sensitive to being left alone in a confined space. "Well, I'll try and think of something for that. I don't know if I can get away with playing sick without raising suspicion…"

"I could," Lector piped up. "Frosch would have to stay with you, but I could leave early and keep Rogue company. I go out on my own often enough that it won't look suspicious. If I fake sick well enough, you can even leave Frosch the day after tomorrow and say she's keeping me company."

As if anyone would believe that Frosch was more of a help than a hindrance to someone too sick to leave the house. Sting doubted he could get both cats to bail on guild appearances without raising suspicion, especially after Rufus questioned him earlier, but Lector feigning sick sounded like a good band-aid to slap over the isolation problem. Frosch staying behind would be a red flag to anyone and everyone that Rogue was in Sting's house, but no one would expect Sting to take Frosch to work with him while Lector hung around the house and kept Rogue company.

"Frosch has to stay with me," Sting said. "I've insisted too many times that I'd look after her for Rogue to leave her with someone who's sick. The first part of the plan might work, though."

"Fro wants to stay with Rogue," Frosch muttered.

"Soon, buddy," Sting promised. "In the meantime, Rogue, can you stop cutting off the circulation to my arms? I'm about to drop our dinner."

"Sorry." Rogue released Sting from the hug. "Do we get to eat in the dining room, or…?"

"Basement. Sorry. I'm not taking any risks."

Rogue grimaced. "I'm going to live in your basement forever, aren't I?"

"Nah. Hopefully no more than a few weeks. Maybe a month or two," Sting said. "I'm going to spruce up the guild basement. Rufus already knows I'm very interested in magic research now, so I can call it a lab. I'll get the supplies and we can work on it overnight, and make it into a decent living space. Instead of… well… this." He gestured to the cold concrete floors and walls of his basement. "Once the Council isn't quite as antsy about you, it should be safe for the two of us to sneak out of the country. Countries, maybe. You've become a high profile case, so there is the risk that neighboring nations will also be on the lookout for you."

Rogue's jaw dropped, and Sting took advantage of the break in attention demands to shut the basement door and walk the rest of the way down the stairs. He'd dumped dinner onto the four plates when Rogue found his voice.

"We're _fleeing the country?_ "

"Shadow or not, your hands killed twenty-something people, and apparently the Council has a precedent for not caring if someone was under another person's control. It's either go somewhere far enough away that your reputation won't follow, live in the basement forever, or join Crime Sorciere, maybe. I hear they take people who want to do good after committing a major crime."

"Crime Sorciere tried to kill me. They tried to kill me before the dragon attack had even resolved, much less before the death toll was reported and Natsu told everyone that I was behind it."

"Basement or new country, then," Sting said. "Anyway, I figure that when I'm still alive nine months from now, there will be reason enough to argue that you didn't turn out like your future self. If they don't ease up on searching for you by then, that should do the trick."

Rogue, who had followed Sting down the stairs after regaining his composure, cringed and took a step back. "We don't know I won't do that."

"I trust you."

"That makes one of us."

"Yeah. I noticed. Eat your dinner, Rogue. You didn't have anything for lunch, did you?"

Rogue shook his head and grudgingly sat down across from Sting. After the night before, he couldn't make a stand on an empty stomach. Sting would assume hunger or sleep deprivation were weakening his fortitude again.

As soon as Rogue sat, Frosch scurried over to lean against his side, beaming up at him. Because he'd insisted so strongly prior to being taken away that Sting look after her, because Sting had insisted so strongly on looking after her after Rogue was taken away, the two of them couldn't be out together anymore. It would take Sting's basement plan to enable Frosch to visit him during the day (and likely leave him alone at night) and even then, Frosch had to be seen regularly at Sting's side.

"Is there any chance we can leave before you maybe don't die?"

"I can pack as soon as I've found every lead I can on keeping your shadow ready for good," Sting promised. "If you want to leave as soon as possible, we'll find a way to sneak out while I'm still under watch."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sleepy.
> 
> I didn't really expect Rufus to be a character when I started this, but it'd get old if it were only ever Rogue and Sting. Natsu shows up soonish, btw.


	8. Natsu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sting and Rogue are not the viewpoint characters.

It had been months since the Eclipse incident, but the Fairy Tail guild hall still felt empty.

Maybe it was that they'd moved back into the old building, yet so many of the smaller name members they lost over the seven year gap had opted not to return, and the trickle of new members was slow. Maybe it was that they'd become so adjusted to the little building outside of town that the huge renovated one seemed too large even with the right number of people. Maybe a lot of people took advantage of the influx in jobs and everyone was out working.

Maybe Natsu was looking for excuses not to think about the fact that Gray died.

It wasn't just Gray. The guild had lost Macao and Droy too, and Gajeel had yet to recover after the dragon he fought tore off his arm. He'd only recently been released from the hospital, and permitted no one to visit him. Pantherlily came by from time to time to report on his status.

While Gajeel sulked over his wound, Cana searched for Gildartz. She'd been gone since the day they got back, determined to find where his prosthetics came from so Gajeel could regain some body function, and to beg for him to come back while the guild floundered. Juvia, in the meantime, had vanished completely. The poor girl fled when someone complained of all the rain at Gray's funeral, and while Natsu supposed it was nice that the sun came out to see Gray off, he and everyone else wished she'd stayed. From time to time they heard news of freak downpours, but whenever someone followed the lead to whatever town she'd passed through, she was long gone.

Natsu tried to keep in good spirits. Lucy and Erza were still there, and he knew other guilds had it worse. Quatro Cerebus lost all their core members, and when Sabertooth grew a sense of morality and refused to throw Rogue to the wolves, they lost all public favor. Last he'd heard, the number of jobs offered to them had dropped by more than half, and being forced to hand Rogue over to the Council hadn't improved the public's opinion of them.

But that was Sting's problem. And Rogue's, maybe. Natsu wasn't sure what he thought of Rogue anymore. When he spoke to Rogue's future self, it sounded so much like something took over him and changed him so drastically in only a moment. Natsu thought there was plenty of time to stop that (and maybe undo Gray's death as a result, if Rogue never turned evil and went back in time to kill everyone), yet a week ago, months before that moment was meant to occur, a report came out claiming Rogue killed twenty-two people. Granted, there were no eye witnesses, but all circumstantial evidence pointed to Rogue.

Technically, Natsu supposed that if Rogue was caught and executed, that would have the same effect of potentially saving Gray, but he'd rather save Rogue too. That way, even if Gray really was gone forever, at least one person would be saved. No sense in making Rogue's loved ones feel as shitty as Natsu did if it turned out that Gray's death couldn't be undone after all.

Natsu had no urgent need to work, half the guild was either out or hadn't found the energy to show up, and the other half was still solemn after the losses they'd been dealt. For the first time since he'd joined the guild, Natsu found no pleasure in showing up to see everyone, and had no energy to take a job.

Lucy already made her rent for the month. Erza left to help with the hunt for Rogue, which Natsu suspected had more to do with Jellal joining the hunt, albeit subtly. Whether Jellal wanted to bring Rogue to justice, recruit him, or figure out what happened to Ultear, Natsu didn't know. He knew only that he couldn't, in good conscious, join the manhunt. Deep down, Natsu wanted to think that at least one person the Eclipse incident had completely destroyed could be saved.

It came as a relief when, shortly past noon, Sting showed up at the guild's front door. Not that Natsu expected any sort of news from him on the affair with Rogue or requests for help. (He was pretty sure Makarov stated there would be no help given.) Rather, having heard of Sting's persistent optimism and stubborn determination with regards to Rogue following the Eclipse incident, Natsu hoped that some of Sting's mood might rub off on the guild. Maybe they could end up having a tenth of the spirit they used to.

Sting flashed Natsu a smile when he stepped in, then waved to Makarov, who called him over to the bar counter. A few people watched, curious, but Natsu was the only one who felt compelled to edge closer and listen in.

"If you're here to ask that we help with tracking down your rogue… um… unlawful former member, we already have a few mages out looking for him," Makarov said the second Sting stepped up to him.

"No. I mean, I'm glad to hear it, but I'm here for a different reason. I know you weren't interested in a guild alliance, but if it's not too much trouble to let me look through your archives, just for a few days, I—"

"Why?"

Somehow, Sting seemed entirely unprepared for that question. He blinked, taken aback, and needed a moment to come up with his answer. "I'm looking for an explanation to Rogue's behavior. What happened to those guards… that's not like him at all. It looked like his magic was behind it, but the Rogue I knew would never do that. There were some things his future self said that made me wonder if a sort of magic corruption might have something to do with his sudden change, and I'm following leads on that. When I asked about a few books on the subject, I was told that the only place I could find that had them was your guild."

"Really? And the Council's library doesn't have any copies?"

"Not for a few of the ones I need. And besides… between them and you, I thought you might be more welcoming to the idea of figuring out what was wrong with Rogue, rather than executing him without asking why he did… you know… _that_."

Makarov nodded. "There's no harm in allowing you to look at a few books. Do stay out of the guild's private records, though. If anyone could… ah! Natsu, come over here. Show Sting to the guild's archives, would you?"

Sting looked over his shoulder, surprised initially to see Natsu so close behind him, then smiled.

Sting wasn't giving up on Rogue. Even if Natsu's motives weren't the same, that Sting wanted to help comrade was reason enough to lend a hand. After all, hadn't it been Natsu himself who berated Sting's guild for not doing enough of that?

"Follow me," Natsu said. "I wanted to talk to you anyway."

It was hit or miss whether or not the individual guild members harbored any resentment for Rogue, even if most consented Natsu's point that the Rogue from their own timeline hadn't killed any of their guild mates (yet). Aware that they might not take kindly to the subject, Natsu waited until he and Sting were in the basement and everyone was out of earshot before asking, "How's Rogue?"

Sting stopped dead in his tracks, and when Natsu looked back at him, his eyes were wide with horror and his face ghost white.

"Sorry. I guess it's kinda hard, losing him like this. If you don't wanna talk about it, you don't have to."

"N-no. It's fine." Color returned to Sting's face. "Rogue is… he was perfectly fine, the last time I saw him. He'd been depressed ever since we found out about his future self, but he was finally coming around. I convinced him that he wasn't _destined_ to turn out that way and everything. Then he got arrested. Didn't even do anything. They just arrested him because, apparently, having a future version of yourself travel back in time and do something counts as conspiring to commit a crime."

"When _was_ that, anyway? First I heard about him being arrested was when he broke out."

"If there was an announcement, I didn't hear it, and I had an ear out for one," Sting said, and edge of bitterness in his voice. "Rogue kept talking about running away so he wouldn't be able to hurt us. If he hadn't left Frosch with me when they took him away, I'd have thought that's what he did. They never announced a trial either. It still pisses me off to think about. Rogue _wasn't_ evil. He was _terrified_ of turning evil, and he was so close to going back to his old self, even when everyone bullied him for what happened. If the Council hadn't locked him away, I'm _positive_ nothing like this would have happened. They did something to him in prison. I _know_ they did."

Sting spoke with the sincerity of someone who really did know beyond any shadow of a doubt. For a second, Natsu almost wondered if Sting made contact with Rogue and learned what happened, but that was ridiculous. If Sting and Rogue were in contact now, there was no way Sting wouldn't have brought Rogue back to safety, in which case Natsu couldn't imagine Sting then leaving Rogue unguarded. For as much faith as Natsu had in his guild mate's strength, he wouldn't leave any of them alone with the whole country out for their blood. Even Erza.

"It just makes me mad," Sting went on. "I'm trying so hard to help, and everyone else seems determined to screw it up. Even Rogue acts like he needs to be put down for the greater good."

"You won't let him do that, right?"

"Hell no." Sting paused. "Which is why I'd like to find him before he can do anything stupid. Anything else, I mean. Killing those guards… but if I can prove he wasn't in control of himself, I thought there might be a chance he could be pardoned."

This time it was Natsu who stopped abruptly. "Not in control of himself?"

"Didn't Rogue's future self tell you something about the shadows consuming him? Rogue mentioned before they took his away that sometimes he thought his shadow was taunting him, or telling him to do awful things. He said the first time it happened, he blacked out, and when he regained consciousness afterward he was beaten up, and everyone told him he'd attacked Gajeel."

"Um… when? During the tournament? He was _supposed_ to attack Gajeel. They were competing against each other."

"Okay, yeah, but you weren't there. Rogue doesn't usually use so many underhanded tricks when he fights, and hearing that he didn't remember fighting at all only makes it weirder. So I thought that whatever happened to him then might be what his future self was talking about."

"And that it happened again when he killed those people last week?" Natsu asked.

"Yes! If he _was_ possessed by some sort of evil shadow thing, then he's not really a murderer," Sting insisted. "If he was possessed, then stopping whatever possessed him means he can safely be around others! If I could just prove it…"

Prove it, and find a way to seal this shadow. From what Natsu heard, he'd been under the impression that the only real danger to Rogue's sanity was if Frosch died, but it stood to reason that some other shock to Rogue's mental wellbeing could lead to him giving in to the same darkness his future self had.

"What would you do if you found Rogue before you had some sort of proof?" Natsu asked.

The questions wasn't meant to put Sting on the spot. Natsu asked out of genuine curiosity, as someone who wanted to help Rogue, couldn't let him off for his crimes without knowing there was a good reason for them, and doubted there would be any help or searching for reasons if Rogue failed to escape punishment. Sting, it seemed, was similarly conflicted on what to do, because he paled once more and stared blankly at Natsu, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish as he searched for words.

While Sting struggled to find his voice, Natsu dragged him into the guild's library. The room was a mix of magic archives and guild records. How exactly Makarov wanted Sting kept out of the latter when the two were haphazardly shelved together, Natsu had no idea. Still, so at least one of them could be productive, he scanned the bookcases in an effort to spark a memory as to what general subjects each contained.

"Help," Sting said.

"Yeah. I've got nothing better to do. I can help you look."

"No. Help," Sting repeated. "If I found Rogue, I'd help. He just killed twenty-something people. Whether that was possession or temporary insanity, I know Rogue. I know how distraught he'd be over that. I'd even worry… for what he might do to himself if no one talked him down. I'd help calm him down and convince him that it would all turn out alright."

Natsu glanced back at Sting. "And then turn him in?"

"And then do whatever is needed to make it turn out alright," Sting corrected. "Which is why I'm here. I can't tell Rogue I'll fix things if I don't even try to find out how."

Sting stepped ahead of Natsu, chin held high more out of stubbornness than pride, and began scanning the shelves for the books he wanted. Natsu stood back and watched, impressed to see _anyone_ display enough focus to look over every last item on each shelf.

Sting's dedication to Rogue was something to be admired. Something to be wary of, too. Natsu whole-heartedly believed that saving Rogue was possible, but Rogue's future self had been well beyond the point where he could be saved. If the present Rogue were to lose himself so fully, then Natsu knew he needed to be stopped. As for Sting… well… Sting was a powerful fighter. Powerful enough that it never made sense to Natsu that he could easily be killed and have his power stolen.

If Rogue lost himself so thoroughly as to attack Sting, Natsu wondered if Sting would put up enough of a fight to save himself.

"I thought you said you'd help me look," Sting grumbled.

"R-right. Sorry!"

Natsu shoved those thoughts aside and ran to an adjacent shelf to start skimming for any books that might relate to shadow magic or possession. Worrying about Sting's wellbeing and Rogue's potential permanent loss of sanity could come when they reached that point. In the meantime, stopping Rogue's sanity from slipping took priority. If Natsu wanted to make sure Sting stayed safe, he could check up on the blond from time to time.

Gray was dead, and the guild's spirit had effectively died with its lost members. Even if stopping Rogue from turning evil couldn't save Gray, even if Rogue was already beyond the point where he could be saved, Natsu needed to see _someone_ spared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the major conflicting ideas I struggled with while plotting this story out was what to do regarding Natsu. As the very original concept for this story was a Rogue/Natsu ship fic where Natsu stood up for Rogue even when Sting would not, I did want to give him a role. Heck, I just wanted to give someone else a role to expand the cast for this fic. But I really wanted Natsu in particular to have a significant role. At one point I toyed with the idea of having Rogue go mad, kill Sting, and then it would be up to Natsu to find a way to fix everything from there. But that was... not what I really wanted. To have the final act of the story be one in which Natsu ultimately is the one to save the day in a story that up until that point 99% Sting and Rogue comradery was just a stupid bait and switch. Especially since it took me until chapter 8 to even introduce Natsu.


	9. Unexpected Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Natsu finds out that Sting is harboring a fugitive.

Living in a basement wasn't too hard to get used to after spending a so many weeks in prison. Instead of one visit a week, or fewer, with meals wordlessly dropped off each time, Rogue got to see Sting twice a day. They ate breakfast together, and Sting shared stories with Rogue about how things were going at the guild, or spared with him, or, when Rogue was afraid of sparing, they played games with the cats. Sparing, of course, was always done in the absence of magic. Fighting Sting already made Rogue anxious, what, with his killing spree the other week and the prediction that he'd end Sting's life.

Lector and Frosch kept him company for as long as they could. When Lector could no longer play sick, they pretended Frosch caught his cold, which let Lector stay home to look after Frosch. and Sting even insisted that he stay with Frosch on the day that 'her fever was at its worst.' That lasted a little over a week, then Sting worried that they were attracting too much suspicion and Rogue was on his own during the day again. Sting was properly apologetic for this, assuring Rogue constantly that none of them wanted him left all alone, and that as soon as was possible, Sting would find a way to get them out of Fiore.

In the meantime, Rogue was showered with books to keep himself occupied during the day. Fantasy adventures and futuristic sci-fis and even a few historic bibliographies that Rogue couldn't believe Sting owned. All were from Sting's personal collection, as near as Rogue could tell. Checking out scores of books from the library was another thing that would raise suspicion. As it was, Rogue was the only Sabertooth member Sting had ever successfully convinced that he liked to read, and Rogue only believed Sting after the white slayer forced him to see the miniature library Sting set up in one of the spare bedrooms in his house.

If Sting weren't so anxious about the possibility of Rogue being seen from the window, Rogue would have liked to go up to the private library, pick out his own books, and read somewhere that natural light could reach. Sting did his best to supply books that met Rogue's preferences (even though, in all honestly, books as a whole were not something Rogue preferred) and made sure there were enough spare lightbulbs to keep the basement glowing for years, but at the end of the day, Rogue was trapped in a basement. So neurotic was Sting about Rogue being spotted that Rogue didn't even get to leave to use the bathroom during the day, and had grudgingly agreed to use a bucket, on the grounds that Sting wash it after each meal.

Rogue found himself looking forward to when Sting snuck him into the guild's basement to help with renovations. Even if it meant being alone at night, Sting could still go down to see him for breakfast and dinner, and sneak down to visit him at lunch and whenever else the urge struck him. The cats would be able to make their presence at the guild known, then slip away to see him and only surface again whenever they felt the need to reaffirm to everyone that they were in the building. More than that, Rogue looked forward to fleeing the country. He'd never been _that_ big on sunlight, as his complexion advertised to everyone he saw, but he still liked to see it more than once in a two month time span.

After two weeks as a basement dweller, Rogue was thoroughly settled into the swing of things. Eat with Sting, read and count down the seconds until he had someone to talk to again, then eat with Sting once more before going to sleep. Sometimes little things interrupted that, like his shadow manifesting and insisting that it counted as someone to talk to, but Rogue liked to pretend his time between Sting's visits consisted only of reading, sleeping, and waiting. (Of course, he did have to mention to Sting whenever he heard his shadow, but other than that, Rogue liked to tell himself it didn't happen.) It wasn't as bad as prison, but it was still dull. So dull that Rogue found himself excited rather than alarmed when he heard someone upstairs one afternoon, and caught a scent that most definitely wasn't Sting's.

Why was Natsu in Sting's house?

Rogue didn't dare creep up the stairs to the basement door. The odds that any intruder might announce their intentions while wandering around a home they had no business in were low, and the odds that Natsu would hear him were high. With Natsu's sharp hearing, Rogue didn't even dare to move into the hiding place he'd made for himself between the boxes of junk Sting stored in his basement. As it was, Rogue could only hope Natsu would mistake any scent of Rogue's he caught as deeply seated in the house from many a visit to Sting's before his arrest, rather than an indicator that Rogue was present.

No luck.

"Anyone home?" Natsu called. He waited only a moment, then added, "I know _someone's_ here."

Rogue flinched. If Natsu's nose was as sharp as his own, then Natsu already knew who that someone was. For as loud as Natsu could get, letting him continue to yell wouldn't be that great an idea either.

Every caution that Sting had hammered into Rogue screamed for him to stop as he ascended the stairs, but his own instincts politely ignored his intentions to expose himself. It was the easiest way to make Natsu stop yelling, and besides, Rogue wanted to see others too badly to resist the urge once he had an excuse.

Natsu was in the kitchen when Rogue opened the basement door, and it only took him a few seconds to round the corner into the hall. When Natsu came into view, Rogue gave him the best smile he could. He then reasoned that his nervousness must have made the smile not so great, and that this was the only reason Natsu didn't smile back.

"I _knew_ it. Your smell was too fresh."

He was caught. Mind racing, Rogue searched for some way to at least keep Sting out of trouble. It would throw a wrench in any plans Sting had, but Rogue blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "I'm only grabbing some of my things, and then I'll be on my way," Rogue said. "Sting doesn't know I'm here, and I'll be long gone by the time he's back from the guild."

Natsu nodded. "Right. Makes sense. I mean, you're lying, but it's a good excuse."

Unsure how else to respond to that, Rogue said, "Thanks. I tried." As an afterthought, he added, "What gave it away?"

"Your scent is pretty stale up on the first floor. It's mostly the hall where I could smell you. Also, I'm pretty sure there's a slop bucket in the basement."

Despite the situation, Rogue blushed. "Sting doesn't want to risk me being seen through the windows. I'm not supposed to be up here."

"Even at night?"

"If the house is lit while it's dark out, that would only make it easier for someone to see me."

"Okay, but how about if you _didn't_ light the house?"

Not an option. Wandering around a dark house in the middle of the night meant giving his shadow more room to surround him. Faced with a situation where he had to admit that he, a shadow mage, had developed a fear of the dark, Rogue instead said, "Aren't you going to drag me back?"

"What?"

"To the Council. That's why you're here, right?"

Natsu frowned, thinking it over. "Do you _want_ me to drag you back?"

Rogue, not entirely sure of that himself, said nothing. Sting would certainly be safer if he weren't around, and without Sting to ground him, Rogue didn't trust himself not to go mad and kill anyone else. If the Council would actually put him in a cell meant to hold someone like him and not isolate him or starve him to death, then… maybe? Sting spent so much time nowadays trying to find a way to stop Rogue's shadow, and to get them out of the country. It seemed mean to let all that effort go to waste. Deep down, even if he thought he deserved prison, Rogue wanted to run away with Sting and live a normal, sane life.

"Sting thinks you were possessed," Natsu said. "Did you tell him that?"

"I… something to that effect. I'm _not_ supposed to be up here."

"Then take a few steps down, and I'll stand at the door."

Natsu waited until Rogue was out of view from any potential onlookers and, more importantly, had the tactically disadvantageous low ground if a fight broke out. Once Rogue was halfway down the stairs, he asked, "What exactly did you tell Sting?"

"That my shadow started speaking to me during my fight with Gajeel, that I blacked out after first hearing it and woke up to learn we'd continued to fight while I was unconscious, that I conversed with it in prison, and that I blacked out again while escaping, woke up covered in blood, and was mocked by my shadow with the news that I had committed murder."

"And Sting decided to shelter you when he heard that?"

Sting had planned to shelter Rogue without knowing that. Thinking of it now, Rogue suspected that Sting made up his mind about how to move forward the moment he heard about the prison break. Admitting as much to someone who had no reason to trust him when he claimed possession, however, could get Sting into trouble.

"Yes."

"Do you know where this shadow came from?"

_Remember, Rogue, I'm a part of you._

From pure instinct, Rogue glanced down at the source of the voice, then quickly back up to Natsu, hoping to cover up what he'd done.

"N-no."

Natsu scowled, cocking his head to the side slightly as he thought hard about what he'd just seen. To Rogue's relief, he opted not to comment, and instead said, "When I fought the future you, he said the shadows consumed him."

"I remember. I still fear that may happen."

"What happens to Sting, if you let this thing take over you permanently?"

"I imagine he'd try to talk me back into my sense," Rogue guessed. "I asked Frosch and Lector to grab him and fly away if that happens, but I don't have much faith that Frosch will."

"Because she might die?"

Rogue recoiled at the reminder. With everything else that had happened, that Frosch's death was supposed to be the final trigger to make him lose his mind had been forgotten. His only worry had been that she might be even more determined than Sting to bring him back to his senses.

"By the way," Natsu said, "there's a really simple solution to Sting being in danger, don't you think?"

There was? The fear that had occupied every corner of Rogue's mind since the Eclipse incident, that he might be his dearest friend's demise, could have a simple fix? Natsu's answer was almost certainly that Rogue turn himself in. He deserved it, and the world would be safer if he were behind bars, but Rogue still wanted some hope to cling too.

"What is it?"

"Think back. I said you could kill Sting if you let that shadow take over you permanently."

"Yes…"

"So don't let it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really related to anything, but I've had spontaneous nosebleeds two days in a row? Like, I'll be walking towards the kitchen and just start gushing. The working theory is that it's a combo of eating too much garlic lately and massive text anxiety over my finals. (I spent half the weekend leading up to it studying, and the other half doing anxiety reducing stuff because I kept feeling like the world was ending.)


	10. New Ally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sting has a minor panic attack upon learning someone found out about the fugitive.

Sting knew from five blocks away that something was wrong, and ran the rest of the distance home. After two weeks of hiding Rogue, he'd become so high strung over the possibility of being found out that he felt he might snap, and smelling Natsu was the breaking point. Natsu had no business anywhere in their town aside from perhaps Sabertooth, and if he showed up there, Sting never caught any sign of him. For someone as loud and naturally flashy as Natsu, that was unsettling.

Natsu going to Sting's house made no sense. If he wanted to see Sting, then the guild was the obvious spot to find him, and Sabertooth's guild hall was the largest building in town. You didn't need to ask for directions to find it. The only reason Sting could think of for Natsu to go to his house was if he smelled Rogue.

The front door was still locked, but Sting could smell Natsu inside the building. A quick glance told him one of his windows was wide open, and he jumped through it rather than wasting time with his keys.

"What's gotten into you?" Lector asked, following Sting through the window. "You went into panic mode all of a sudden."

"Fro thinks so too."

"Upstairs. Both of you. There's an intruder," Sting ordered.

Lector needed no more explanation. He flew over to shut the window and grabbed Frosch's hand to lead her up to the second floor. Once they were gone, Sting stole himself and threw open the basement door.

Natsu smiled up at him and waved.

"Who let you in?" Sting demanded.

"Rogue."

"Rogue?"

Leaning forward so his face could be seen from the basement door, Rogue said, "I let him into the _basement_ , and only because he figured out I was here. He broke into the house on his own."

That was only mildly comforting. Keeping someone close meant keeping them from running and squealing, and it was nice to know Rogue hadn't gone so stir crazy as to go upstairs and invite people inside. Although now that Sting thought of it, how exactly he planned to ensure Natsu's silence, he didn't know. He was acting on the assumption that Rogue wasn't in control of himself one way or the other when those people were killed, but both he and Rogue were fully alert now. That made it hard to back up anything Sting could think of that would physically stop Natsu from telling anyone where Rogue was.

Seeing the discomfort on Sting's face, Natsu said, "I'll keep it a secret. For now, at least. I promise."

Worried that it might look suspicious if he stood in front of an open door so long, Sting stepped down onto the stairs and shut the basement door before asking, "On what grounds, if it's only for now?"

"On the grounds that Rogue not let the shadows win," Natsu said. "If he doesn't turn into that other asshole, then he's still one of the good guys, right?"

Behind Natsu, Rogue shifted uncomfortably.

"You believe us then?" Sting asked. "What Rogue had to say about his shadow possessing him, you think that really happened?"

Natsu shrugged. "It matches up with what his other self said, and he seems like a good person. He was the only one who didn't think it was funny when your guildmate beat up Lucy."

"Oh. Right." Sting felt himself blush. He'd been the one to laugh the hardest at Minerva's cruelty. "That happened. Um… sorry?"

"I'm not the one you laughed at."

"R-right."

The last thing Sting wanted was to be blasted for past moral failings while counting on Natsu to not turn them in out of the goodness of his heart, and his mind raced a mile a minute searching for something to try and make up for his behavior during the games. Coming up with nothing that would seem sincere, he was relieved when Natsu changed the topic entirely without a thought.

"Is Rogue living down here forever?"

"Only until I have the guild set up for him," Sting said. "The basement there is larger, and I'm going to get it finished so it will look like an actual living space instead of, you know, a basement."

"It's still a basement," Natsu pointed out.

"It's a step up from this," Sting argued. "And Sabertooth's first floor windows are sealed off once the building closes for the day, so Rogue could come upstairs safely at night. Besides, it's temporary. Once the shadow is banished or sealed or whatever needs to happen to it to keep Rogue safe, there's no risk of him getting into trouble all over again in another country, and we can leave as soon as everyone stops wondering if I'll try and make contact with him."

"No one has come by the house," Rogue mentioned.

Sting, in response, gestured emphatically to Natsu, then added, "Council's sent their toads to come and inspect the guild three times since you broke out, and I got chewed out yesterday for being out visiting Lamia Scale when they showed up. Not to mention everyone from the guild constantly gauging how I react to any mention of you. I recruited Rufus to help with all the papers I keep falling behind on, and he _won't shut up_ about what he thinks of all of my reactions.

"I don't like keeping Rogue down here. Even moving him to the guild basement I'm not thrilled about. We're gone the _second_ I think we can safely get away without getting caught. In the meantime, he's wanted _dead or alive_ , so forgive me for trying to play it safe."

Whatever Natsu intended to say, Rogue raised his voice to speak over the fire slayer and tell Sting, "I can't forgive you for something I don't blame you for. I'm grateful that you'd do so much for me, really. Besides… I'm the one who…"

Sting didn't need to guess how Rogue meant to finish that sentence, nor did he feel particularly inclined to force an answer out of him. As such, he was sincerely annoyed when Natsu asked, "Who what?"

Rogue bit his lip, looking away as he whispered, "Who killed everyone."

"Only twentyish people, and you were possessed," Sting said.

Natsu held up a hand. "No. Wait. I think it's important we not entirely brush that one off."

"We _aren't_. Rogue likes to feel guilty about everyone the dragons killed too."

"But he had no control over that."

"Yeah. Try convincing _him_ ," Sting said, jabbing a thumb in Rogue's direction.

"Past or future, I was the one who turned those dragons lose," Rogue said. "That I haven't tried yet doesn't change the fact that I have it in me to do that, and that your friends are dead as a result."

Sting expected Natsu—loudmouthed, easy going yet sometimes short-fused Natsu—to have an immediate response to that one. Instead, he recoiled and fell silent. Even though Sting had already gathered that Natsu wasn't going to rat him and Rogue out, he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach as he processed that reaction. Natsu had indeed lost a friend during the Eclipse incident. Whether it was a close friend or merely a guildmate who he got along with, Sting was afraid to ask.

"S-still," Natsu said finally, "It's the same as with the shadow. So long as you don't let things go wrong, they can't. It's not like someone is going to put a gun to your head and make you travel back in time to do all of that. No one even made you break out of jail."

"They put me in a cell that didn't block my magic, and by the time I ran for it, there hadn't been a single guard patrolling the hall in days, and it had been at least half a week since I'd been given food," Rogue said. "If either of you could agree that the whole thing was setup to encourage me to try and escape, I'd really appreciate it. That's one thing my shadow and I agreed on, and I don't like agreeing with it on the subject of breaking the law."

"That's a setup," Sting said automatically, then stopped to think about it and realized Rogue was right.

Having combed through all the legal precedents himself, Sting knew that the grounds to charge Rogue were shaky at best. The Council had no way to prove that Rogue had already developed intent to commit any crimes, given that his future self traveled back seven whole years. For all they knew, the idea to travel back and control an army of dragons came to him only a few hours before he acted on it.

The Council wanted to lock Rogue away for what happened during the Eclipse incident, and they couldn't legally justify doing so, but forcing Rogue to resist his detainment would give them solid grounds for an arrest. Refusing to cooperate with an arrest for a petty crime like shoplifting would only add another couple of weeks to your sentence, but for a major scandal that ended with the capitol in ruins and dozens dead, they could argue that Rogue needed to be put away for at least a decade. _That_ would certainly keep him contained during the time where he was supposed to travel back through the gate.

With a horribly sickening realization, it occurred to Sting that beyond that, a Council that would starve someone who'd been denied a trial to egg them into breaking out of jail would likely be willing to have a prisoner mysteriously pass away in their sleep as well. If they could only lock Rogue away for, say, five years rather than for life, then Rogue might die four years into his sentence. Or a week in, if they didn't feel like wasting the resources.

All the more reason to keep Rogue hidden until the shadow was no more.

"If you move him to the guild, will he be alone at night?" Natsu asked.

"He'll have Frosch with him, and as guildmaster it wouldn't look too strange if I were in at any hour, so I could shift my schedule around to stay with him until late, or come and check in on him early. Getting food supplies to him would be as simple as swiping things from the guild kitchen, and I can always bring in extras for him and pass it off as wanting to make a special request from the cook."

Sting might not have been the best with going through all the red tape and paperwork that came with being guildmaster. He was, however, good at planning out long cons. Years of practice pulling pranks on an increasingly cautious Rogue were good for something. By the time Sting actually put to use a lot of the little concessions he planned for Rogue post-renovation, there would be no discernible difference in his outward behavior. Anyone who saw him making changes at present who decided to investigate would find nothing suspect, and would be well accustomed to the change be the time Sting made something of it.

Rogue, familiar with how long Sting could spend subtly setting up a scheme, gave him a meek smile. That alone was enough to make Sting's chest swell with pride. Despite Natsu's concerns, Rogue thought the plan would work. It was something Rogue could hope for, and for as hopeless as Rogue made everything out to be as of late, giving him anything was worth everything.

-o-

They dallied in the basement for some time, Rogue practically clinging to Natsu and making it hard for the fire slayer to excuse himself. Neither of them could blame Rogue for it. After all the ostracization and isolation he'd endured, it was only natural that he'd be eager to have the company of someone he hadn't seen in some time. Frosch and Lector were invited down, and the five of them stayed up late, Rogue laughing and smiling at Natsu's stories, and the other four doing their best to keep his spirits up.

Eventually, though, it got late enough that Natsu had to leave. He'd come without Happy, so it would be strange if he stayed the whole night away from home, and there were only so many trains that ran in the evening.

Sting planned to be courteous and offer to walk Natsu to the station, harboring an ulterior motive to recruit him in finding more people who could be trusted to visit Rogue without turning them in. Natsu beat him to it, saying as he stood to leave, "Sting, you have to show me how the heck to get home."

"Got it." Sting pushed himself to his feet and gave Sting a patronizing pat on the head. "I'll be back soon. You hide if anyone else comes by, okay? Be on alert. If it's Gajeel, you need to hear him before he hears you."

Natsu snorted. "Gajeel isn't about to go anywhere."

Rogue went pale, and Natsu had to hastily amend that. "He's alive. He's been in a bad mood since the Eclipse incident is all. Just… he didn't beat his dragon, you know."

"None of us did," Sting said. As a dragon slayer, it felt bitter to admit as much, and he didn't need any further explanation for why Gajeel might still be upset over it. Rogue seemed similarly satisfied with this explanation, which put no blame on him. Neither of them would have questioned Natsu any further.

So Sting was grateful that Natsu waited until they were several blocks from his house before deciding to give the full details. "Gajeel lost an arm in the fight. I thought Rogue might cut his own off as punishment if I told him."

"It's possible." Rogue practically worshiped Gajeel as a kid, and would no doubt blame himself for the mutilation. "But at least he's _alive._ "

"Yeah…" Natsu's eyes dropped to the street, focusing on the cracks in the pavement that the two walked over. "At least he is."

The emphasis on 'he' was so slight that Sting wondered if he imagined it, but whether or not it was there, he couldn't beg for Natsu to help without asking.

"Who do you know that _did_ die?"

A bitter, single note of laughter escaped Natsu's lips. "Everyone. Our guild… I don't know what it's like in yours anymore, but our guild is a family. I knew everyone, so everyone that died… Romeo doesn't have a dad anymore. His mom left town years ago, so Wakaba's looking after him for now. Gajeel's grieving for himself, and Jet's grieving for Droy, so Levy's all alone. She and Lucy go on jobs sometimes, but Lucy… she's fine, really. She bounced back alright from seeing her future self die. I don't think anything's wrong with her, but she has all these scars now, and she acts like they're the end of the world. Sometimes she still takes jobs with me too, but… our team kind of dissolved when Gray died." Natsu paused. "I think Erza's planning to leave the guild. Crime Sorciere lost a member, and she knows… well… she knows someone on the team really well. And since Fairy Tail is kind of… I mean… the way everyone acts right now, I don't blame her for wanting to get away from it all."

Out of respect, Sting let the next two blocks the walked pass in silence before springing his question. What he'd initially wanted to ask was about someone else from Fairy Tail who could be sympathetic to Rogue, but for as harsh of losses as their guild endured, that could wait. There was a more important gem in that mass of despair Natsu just confided of that Sting needed to seize while he had the chance.

"You have a contact with Crime Sorciere?"

Natsu glanced at Sting, mild surprise turning to confusion, which gave way to a grim understanding.

"They lost a member in the fight too."

"I know. Rogue and I saw it happen."

"You did?" Natsu planted his feet on the ground and looked straight at Rogue. "How? Ul… I mean… _that man_ was crazy strong. And smart. He wouldn't have let a dragon catch him."

"It was a woman," Sting said. "Sorry. We thought her guild mark was Crime Sorciere's but maybe I'm remembering wrong."

"No. This guy really looked like a lady. Huge butt. Big tits. Long black hair. Girly perfume. Some sort of mint lavender combo."

"That was… him? Are you _sure_ that was a guy?" Sting asked.

"No. You really saw him? What happened?"

"He… Uh… She attacked Rogue," Sting said. "I mean, that's what Rogue said. I was kinda busy trying not to get killed by the pincer-faced dragon while looking for Rogue, and I kept having to take detours through alleys to gain ground. When I finally saw him, that woman was attacking him, and he was just… taking it. It was weird. Like he didn't have it in him to try and survive. Then the dragon spun forward and skewered her, and she was dead. Just like that. I thought Rogue would be next and I started screaming, but the dragon stood over him and did nothing, and I forgot all about how Rogue reacted to that woman because the dragon leaving Rogue alone seemed even weirder. That other Rogue ordered the dragons to make sure he came out of the all that chaos intact, I guess."

It wasn't until Sting finished that he realized he'd talked more about Rogue than the dead Crime Sorciere member, but he'd answered Natsu's question all the same. Still, to look less like he had a one-track mind, Sting tried to show Rogue's would-be murderer a little consideration.

"I looked for her name when they put out a list of all the missing and dead, but everyone was claimed by a legal guild, or wasn't a wizard at all. I didn't see her face alongside all the others when they built the memorial either."

"You wouldn't have," Natsu said, so quiet that even with his sharp hearing, Sting had to strain to hear it. "The Council doesn't care a lot about the guild itself, since it's not officially registered. They don't look into it, so they don't know that it _can't_ register. Before they made a mission of taking down dark guilds, all of the members used to belong to Balam Alliance guilds, or other criminal activity." He paused, looking sheepish. "Well, by _all_ I mean _two_. They had three until a dragon killed Ultear. Calling them a guild in their own right is a bit of a stretch. They're more like a strike force."

A strike force comprised of people with bad legal records who were trying to do good. There was only one little hiccup that kept Crime Sorciere from being the perfect place for Rogue.

"I can't believe him!" Natsu said, back to an extremely outdoor voice, skin catching on fire in a startling blaze that Sting scampered back from. "He attacked Rogue? After everything I said, he _attacked_ Rogue? Had the dragons even _killed_ anyone at that point?"

"Hush!" Sting hissed. "It's the middle of the night!"

They were still a few hours shy of midnight, but it was dark out save for human bonfire fuming on the street. The October nights were cool enough that people would leave their windows shut, and Sting preferred being able to talk quietly with Natsu to being overheard by anyone he passed. Neither of them were loudly airing anything that could immediately implicate them in a crime, but it was still a subject matter that would draw unwanted attention. And Sting had the sense that Natsu's connection with a guild made entirely of criminals who turned over a new leaf but never went to trial went a little beyond knowing someone else who was in contact with them.

Seeing Sting's alarm, Natsu grumbled and extinguished his flames, but it was only after storming the next few blocks that Natsu slowed and explained the situation to Sting.

They knew it that Rogue was the one behind the Eclipse incident before it even happened, although they didn't know what exactly he was planning. They ran into his future self an hour or two before the gate opened. He'd claimed he was going to stop a dragon attack, not start one, telling Natsu the same lie he fed the princess. They knew not to trust him because he was the one who'd murdered Lucy's future self, a detail that Fairy Tail hadn't included in their official report of losses in the fight, and one that Sting planned not to share with Rogue. As far as they'd known, the future Lucy returned to her own time alive and well.

Ultear, as well as another Crime Sorciere member saved Natsu, and he confirmed their suspicions of a second time traveler. Apparently, their three man team had been doing a lot of behind the scenes investigating, and made contact with the future Lucy before anyone else. Ultear came up with the theory that the amount of time distortion the gate generated would allow them to erase Rogue's future self from existence and correct their timeline if Rogue could be killed in the present. Natsu, bless him, nixed the plan immediately. Whatever Rogue might potentially become, he was completely innocent at the time.

Ultear went ahead with it anyway. She tried to kill Rogue, set the tone in his mind that he was the one who needed to be punished for everything that went wrong, and then she got herself killed. Sting couldn't bring himself to feel too sympathetic to her for that.

But the other Crime Sorciere girl followed Natsu's orders not to hurt Rogue, and went to fight the dragons instead. She'd been with Natsu's teammate, Gray, when he died. And the third member, who Natsu similarly refrained from naming, hadn't known anything about Rogue's involvement until the Eclipse was over. He'd left to make sure the criminal dragon slayer, Cobra, was able to join the battle before anything regarding Rogue came to light. Natsu didn't know what he thought of the whole affair.

"But he's got as big a guilt complex as Rogue, if not bigger," Natsu said. "If you put them in a room together, they'd probably compete to see who regrets what they did more."

Crime Sorciere might have been the answer Sting needed after all. If he could get in contact with them and convince them to take Rogue on, Rogue could stay in the country and do whatever he could to alleviate his conscious by joining Crime Sorciere on their dark guild hunts. If nothing else, it would be a safer place to hide Rogue than Sting's basement. For both their sakes. Not to mention it was new faces for Rogue to see, and he'd no longer be so confined. Even if they couldn't get Crime Sorciere to take Rogue on indefinitely, they might let him tag along until while Sting did a thorough job preparing to flee the country, rather than rushing to get the bare minimum taken care of so Rogue could be out of the basement as soon as possible.

All he needed to do was figure out how to keep that stupid shadow under control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder that because Natsu saw Ultear first as Zalty and always noticed the scent of her perfume instead of a natural smell, he was convinced that she was a guy who liked to dress up as a woman.
> 
> I have this one story I've been meaning to rewrite for a while. Poltergeist. The premise is that Jellal passes away, tries to play guardian angel for Erza without her learning that he's dead, and accidentally ends up starting a romance with her anew as her anonymous ghost admirer. (I have another story in the works involving ghost!Lahar that isn't anywhere near the same, but the scenes where he interacts with not-ghost!Mest certainly remind me of that fic.) But the first chapter of Poltergeist–and this was written before the seven year time-skip–is the one where Jellal dies. The whole thing is set up to look like an accident in a contrived and way over the top sort of way, but in the next chapter Jellal overhears a discussion that clues him in to the fact that he was very deliberately murdered because his trial was dragging on and the Council was worried that people might start to question how much blame he really had in everything to do with the Tower of Heaven. Since that was the other story I wrote where Council prisoners were deliberately treated like shit to achieve something underhanded, it crossed my mind while writing this chapter. In case anyone's curious where Sting's concern about the possibility of Rogue dying midway through his sentence came from.
> 
> Hm... other chapter notes... Oh! So this was the chapter that I was stuck on for so long that I almost gave up on this fic without ever posting it. (Because I've gotta finish the first ten chapters before I let myself post something, to prove to myself I can see it through. And this is chapter 10.) But when I was reviewing a couple old chapters and noticed some small mention of Crime Sorciere, I was like "Well, damn. That might actually be a good bunch of characters to bring in." And just like that I actually had a good sense of how to continue on. I think I made some vague post on my blog about how I loved when little stuff I threw out at random turned into something that I could really work with later on.
> 
> The other experience I had like that around the same time (which would have been mentioned in the same post) was with an original story, where I randomly mentioned a glass knife as an important artifact because a glass knife sounded suitably absurd, then gave the villain an obsidian knife because that sounded badass and one of the heroes could manipulate metal with his mind, so a normal knife wouldn't work on him. Then I realized that another name for obsidian is "volcano glass" and my villain was running around with what was technically a functional glass knife, and suddenly I had a plot point about how the villain unwittingly had the artifact the hero needed to achieve the best possible outcome for both of them.
> 
> Can you tell I'm feeling chatty today? I don't usually write such long author's notes. Like, I used to in middle school, then I went through a phase where I abstained from author's notes at all. Then I started adding, like, a paragraph of commentary with each chapter. I feel like a motor mouth today, but no one's around to talk to, and I've just been practicing all these imaginary conversations in my head all morning because dammit I wanna converse.


	11. Research

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sting doesn’t respect Natsu’s secritivity and tries to dig up who his criminal friends are.

Sting wasted no time the next day with looking into Crime Sorciere. He hadn't dared press Natsu too hard, afraid that the fire slayer would contact the guild about Sting before Sting was ready to approach them himself. He needed to figure out who they were and whether or not Rogue would be safe if left with them. And if they would be safe with Rogue.

The name Ultear rang a bell, but Sting couldn't quite recall where it came from. A brief scan through reports of the past year's dark guild actity turned up nothing, and loathe though Sting was to clue anyone in to what he was up to, he turned to Rufus for help.

"Have you ever head of the name Ultear?"

"She was a former Councilor, almost a decade ago," Rufus said. "It came out that she was a part of a criminal plan that temporarily disabled Era, and resulted in almost all of the Councilors resigning. She was never apprehended."

"That's it?" No one dead or ruined over what she did? No crimes in the time since that incident? Whispers of Crime Soricere started up about five years ago, and from the rate dark guilds came under attack leading up to their appearance, they couldn't have formed more than a few months before that. What had happened between the time she scandalized the Council, and when she helped form Crime Sorciere?

"If anything else involving her came up, I would remember it," Rufus said. "Why?"

"Her name came up in my research," Sting fibbed, hoping he could find something on her later that he could properly connect to his claim that Rogue was possessed. "Her first name, anyway. Do you remember the last?"

"Milkovich, I believe. Did someone connect her to the gate? I remember that her magic dealt with time."

"Yeah. Someone thought they saw here there, so she might have been involved."

It all sounded familiar, although Sting had no recollection whatsoever of anything to do with the Council before he joined a guild. He never paid any attention to them before they he answered to their demands, and even then, he only noticed things that personally affected him. A visit to the former guildmaster was none of his concern.

Rufus returned to sorting through reports of how the jobs went, and Sting dug further back into crime reports, switching from dark guilds to any magic scandals. Something that caused multiple Councilors to resign at once would no doubt be a big enough incident to be in Sabertooth's records, even though it had been a tiny guild ten years ago.

The first sign that Rufus's memory was fallible was that Ultear's scandal wasn't from a decade ago, but seven years. Which made sense, if _Natsu_ , he-who-vanished-from-time-for-seven-years, was familiar with her. Still, there was time between when she'd been active and when Crime Sorciere formed. Sting read over the incident, taking note of the name Jellal Fernandez—her partner in crime—in case he turned out to be another guild member. The incident had ended in several deaths, international relationship damage, and brought to light an established slavery ring. It came out in the aftermath that Ultear was actually a member of the dark guild Grimoire Heart, but Jellal was believed to have acted alone. He was apprehended not long after the incident, and claimed amnesia, preventing him from defending himself in court. He'd been sentenced to death.

Writing Jellal off, Sting flipped to the precise date of Grimoire Heart's last known activity. This was an incident he knew the entire official report on. It was the day Natsu allegedly died all those years ago, and Sting had hunted down every scrap of news there was at the time. That must have been where he heard Ultear's name.

There was nothing he didn't remember in the records, and less than they'd learned since Fairy Tail returned. Everyone was presumed dead initially, two were been seen in the time since. It had come out in the past few months that at least five Gimoire Heart members escaped the island before Acnologia attacked. That was only known because Fairy Tail mentioned letting them go when they reappeared, although the members of Fairy Tail who hadn't been on the island had fallen over themselves trying to find those two Grimoire Heart members in the hopes that others had escaped when those two appeared too…

Sting tossed the records aside and grabbed another book, flipping through until he found the news article. He'd been all over the story when it happened too, since if two crooks survived Acnologia's attack, then maybe Natsu was still out there somewhere. He didn't have the date memorized like he did the day Natsu disappeared, but Sting knew the year and season, and that made digging up the information go faster. He found the right papers within minutes.

Almost a year after the incident with Acnologia, Grimoire Heart members Ultear and Meredy broke into Era's maximum security prison, freeing a single prisoner. Jellal.

His execution was scheduled a week out from his prison break. The day before he was broken out, someone with no known relation to Jellal or Ultear argued with the Council that Jellal had been brainwashed, and deserved a lighter sentence. The request was denied, but the man was detained after Jellal went missing. An investigation turned up only that Jellal's defender had been brainwashed to come to his defense, and opinions were split on whether this was someone trying to falsely undermine Jellal's accusations, or if Jellal had been brainwashed and the culprit was trying to right their past misdeeds without getting caught. Since Jellal had not been seen since, there was no way to check, and the Council issued a statement of their confidence that Jellal was guilty. He had already manipulated the government once, and would naturally try to do so to save himself.

This article came with a photo of Jellal, and his face surprised Sting. He'd caught a glimpse of that man a few days before the Eclipse, surrounded by Rune Knights by the exit to the arena. He'd wondered at the time if Fairy Tail was caught cheating, but someone swore it was only a look-alike. A look-alike who someone else thought left the country, but there was no way to prove that the man wasn't who he said he was. And that man lost so pathetically on the first day of the tournament, so Sting stopped paying any attention to him. Even if Fairy Tail had cheated by slipping him in, it backfired on them hard.

Ultear, a girl who followed Ultear from her defunked guild, and a man with ties both to Fairy Tail and those girls who had allegedly been brainwashed when breaking the law, and who pled guilty knowing he would be beheaded for what he'd done. In other words, a man with a guilt complex the size of Rogue's. Two of whom Sting knew had been present in Crocus when Crime Sorciere was in the area. He had the names of all three members.

Better yet, Jellal might have been _made_ to commit whatever horrible deeds he'd dealt, and brainwashed or not, he had to know that the Council didn't care if you'd been forced to break the law. Ultear might have wanted Rogue dead when she thought it could correct time and prevent the attacks, but Meredy had listened when Natsu said to spare Rogue, and Natsu thought Jellal and Rogue would hit it off, albeit in a depressing way.

Sting vowed to ask Natsu the next time he came around to ask Crime Sorciere about Rogue for him. They would need to be warned about the shadow situation and Sting's attempts to resolve it, but if it panned out, it would be a tremendous step up. If one of their members was a former Councilor, he might even have some ideas for the cause of Rogue's shadow

-o-

Sting practically skipped home, stopping along the way to buy takeout. He didn't have a tremendous amount of time in the day that he could spend with Rogue, and he didn't want to waste any of it on cooking.

His sky high spirits plummeted to earth when he stepped into his house an immediately smelled blood. No one else's scent lingered in the house, which meant there could only be one person who hurt Rogue.

Cursing, Sting ran into the basement, where he found Rogue curled up, unconscious on the floor, blood splattered around his head. For a second, Sting thought his heart might stop, then he saw the steady rise and fall of Rogue's chest. Rogue's face might have been scrunched in discomfort, but he was still breathing.

Rogue was alive. If nothing else, Rogue was still alive.

Alive and well, mostly. He stirred when Sting turned him over to look for the blood, blinking up drowsily at his partner. It wasn't until Sting brushed Rogue's long bangs aside that Rogue registered what was going on, and his hands flew up to cover his ears.

"What did you _do_?" Sting asked.

Rogue stared back at him, silent, panic and confusion on his features.

Sighing, Sting sat Rogue up and moved to pry those hands back. Rogue offered no resistance, letting Sting uncover his ears to reveal two mangled, bloody messes.

It looked like a tiger had tried to rake Rogue's ears off. Sting heard stories of people taking a knife to some body part, but Rogue's damage was entirely done by hand. As evidence by the blood caked under Rogue's nails, if not the damage to the ears themselves. Strips of raw flesh hung down, one piece still dripping blood. What hadn't been easy to tear off, Rogue had still done his best to destroy. The skin leading towards his inner ear had been scraped away, but the damage wasn't severe enough on its own to explain the amount of blood that had oozed out from both sides of Rogue's head.

He stared, unable to come up with words, until he saw his own horror reflected in Rogue's expression. One of them had to be the steady one.

Swallowing and forcing words out, Sting asked, "Can you hear me?"

Rogue gave him a sheepish smile, which worked just fine as a no.

"Hold still," Sting ordered, although he knew there wasn't much point. Rogue continued to comply was Sting turned his head and inspected one ear, trying to see the extent of the damage.

"It wouldn't stop," Rogue said, speaking softly. He couldn't hear anymore, and he was more worried about being so loud that people overheard him that he was with coming out too quiet. "The shadow wouldn't stop mocking me, and I thought I'd rather not hear at all. I can still hear it, though." He blinked, eyes glassing over with tears. "It won't stop, Sting."

-o-

Sting sent Lector to the guild the next morning to deliver the news that he would be away for several days, and Rufus was in charge until further notice. The fridge was stocked with a week's worth of easy to reheat food, and then true to what the guild had been told, Sting left.

While Sting set out, Lector and Frosch stayed with Rogue, As much as it hurt Sting to show so little faith, he left sedatives for them to use if it looked like Rogue might hurt himself again. Finding someone who could not only fix Rogue's ears, but who would keep quiet about the affair was already going to be a task and a half. He wanted to minimize the risk of Rogue doing any more harm to himself.

Letting the wounds scar over and leave Rogue deaf wasn't an option. Rogue's mental state was already teetering on insanity, if the self-mutilation was any indicator. The last thing he needed was for his shadow's voice to be the only thing he could hear.

Maybe, if Sting found a back alley doctor who he didn't think would sell Rogue out, he'd ask for recommendations on a back alley psychiatrist. As much as he wanted to have faith in Rogue, they never did rule out mental illness, and shredding one's own ears was a pretty strong sign that you weren't all right in the head. Then again, the shadow had been an issue since July, and Rogue had been subject to a lot of abuse since. It was entirely possible he was developing mental issues on top of having an evil demon shadow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because things were getting too happy. That's why.


	12. Deaf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which attempting to go deaf turns out to be a bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter in under two days, because the last one was kinda recappy.

Rogue went through four days of hell before Sting came home, which was saying something, because his life had been so rotten as of late that, using it as the norm, things had to get pretty rotten before they became hell.

Twice, Lector had handed him a fizzing drink that left Rogue's eyelids feeling heavy, and when he woke up afterward he felt so foggy brained that he had to stick his fingers in his mouth to be sure he only imagined the sensation of cotton balls on his tongue. It wasn't hard to figure out, once the drugs wore off, that he'd been drugged. Nor was it much of a stretch to figure out why Lector did that, and who gave him the sedatives in the first place.

The look on Sting's face when he realized what Rogue did to himself was heart rending. Trust and security and _hope_ all fled his eyes when he saw Rogue's ears, and Rogue, desperate to mitigate the damage and clueless as to how, could see it. Sting thought he was losing it. Losing his mind, or losing the battle with his shadow. Maybe both. Maybe Sting was right to think as much, for that matter, but Rogue still hated the whole situation. He liked how one of them had faith in him, and now he'd gone and ruined that.

Sting was gone, and it took a full day for Lector and Frosch to realize that they needed to write and draw out an explanation for why. Until then, Rogue could only repeatedly ask them why Sting hadn't come back for dinner. Their lips moved, but he heard nothing of their answers, and when they tried to pat his hands and hug him in what must have been an attempt at reassurance, Rogue's throat only constricted with dread. He'd clawed at his ears until he couldn't hear anything but his shadow, and Sting left to find an asylum to throw him in. Somewhere with staff to watch him twenty-four seven, with such terrible conditions that no one who wanted to see him jailed would complain. The panic attack that brought on was what caused the first sedation. The realization that Sting now trusted him so little that he left Lector with orders to drug as needed caused the second sedative inducing episode.

After the second dosing, it wasn't so much that Rogue learned to calm himself as it was that Frosch and Lector figured out how to keep him from having another meltdown. Lector scrambled to find books for Rogue from Sting's collection and swiped newspapers from their stands at night to keep anyone from seeing him out and about (as he was supposed to have left town with Sting.) Frosch wasn't competent enough for books or sneaking around, but she and Lector grabbed markers and paper and she set to work making drawing after drawing for Rogue. Sometimes they were little comics about Frosch as a real frog. Sometimes she drew everyone standing together in a field, smiling up with their simple marker faces as if the entire world hadn't crumbled around them. Then again, for Sting and Frosch and Lector, it was only the parts of their world concerning Rogue and not the entirety of their lives that were ruined beyond repair. And any worry he gave them was all on Rogue too. Giving in to his shadow and killing all those people. Panicking over a voice in his head not a full day after someone else promised to help him.

Apparently, during Rogue's second episode, he had begun to scream, and they were worried someone might come and inspect the house. Rogue didn't fault them for their determination to keep him grounded. Even if it was only so effective.

Throughout all of this, Rogue's shadow mocked him.

_Why should Sting come back? A wretched thing like you will only cause him trouble._

_Look at it this way, when he doesn't return, we'll just kill everyone_ but _him. You want him to live, right? Sting isn't going to survive so long as he stays with you._

 _What do you expect to accomplish covering your ears? You think you can block me out? I'm_ you _, Rogue. I'm inside you. I always have been. I always will be. There's no silencing yourself. Well, there is one way, but I think Sting left those drugs to keep you from. I won't let you either. Just so you know._

_Do you think I'm kidding? You can't give up without giving in to me. Try and put yourself out of your misery. I get you before death has a chance._

Rogue still covered his ears, though. Even if they were mangled and tender and hot and ached to touch. Or rather, because they were all those things. There was no pretending he couldn't hear his shadow when he heard nothing else, and the pain served as a distraction.

Sometimes, with the cats weren't looking, Rogue picked at a spot on his leg, going over it with his nails over and over until he saw blood, then going at it more. He could pull his pant leg back down whenever they looked his way, and no one had to be any wiser to the little ways he managed to keep himself grounded. The catch was that he had to do it when he could _see_ that the cats weren't looking, since he couldn't rely on his ears to let him know if they were nearby.

He didn't need them getting scared over what he did to his leg. It was so small scale compared to the ears that it hardly mattered anyway. Just a little tic to keep him sane. He knew how it looked to the outside observer, though, so he didn't need Frosch crying over him or Lector trying to scold him in Sting's place and reporting the incident when Sting came home. He especially didn't need his shadow to comment on it, although the shadow naturally commented anyway.

_You really are losing your mind, aren't you?_

_If it's all so unbearable for you that you'd rather hurt yourself than deal with it, you can always let me take over. Sleep, and never worry about anything more._

_The way your mind is slipping, it's not like you'll resist this side of you forever anyway. Why torture yourself like this._

Once or twice, Rogue tried to explain to the cats some of the things his shadow told them, but the responses they wrote out for him were never exactly what he wanted to hear. Rogue wondered if it was simply hard for them to grasp, or if he was saying words wrong without realizing it, and they had to guess at what he told them.

_Whether you give in or not, sooner or later I'll be your only company again._

-o-

When Sting came home on day five, Rogue rushed to embrace him in a tight hug. There was no way to drown out the noise, but Sting was still comfort and security, and Rogue needed as much of that as he could get. It was only after he let go of Sting that Rogue noticed the strange man who had followed Sting into the basement.

His face and scent were unfamiliar, but his attire said "doctor" and Rogue went pale with dread. Had Sting really gone to have him committed to an asylum?

 _What did you expect when you told him you could hear your shadow?_ the shadow asked.

Sting smiled gently at Rogue, guiding him over to the couch and sitting Rogue down before producing a light from his hand and holding is besides Rogue's head. Rogue sucked his breath in through his teeth when the doctor approached, and exhaled when the man bent over to look at his ruined ears. Sting found someone to try and fix his hearing, not to have him committed.

Rogue relaxed, all the stress of the past five days ebbing away. Sting might still be worried, but he hadn't given up yet.

Unable to tell if the man gave any instructions, Rogue did his best to sit still and not interfere with the examination. It was hard. He wanted to flinch away each time the stranger touched the tender, tattered skin around his ears, and more than once he teared up when the spot was pressed down on.

The persistent throb of his ears had grown from background static to all consuming by the time the man was done, and Rogue knew nothing of what had been determined about the injuries. The man's mouth moved, as did Sting's but none of it was explained to Rogue. He sat deaf as ever, and while Frosch rested in Rogue's lap and held him tight for comfort, Lector was too transfixed with Sting to think to write anything out for Rogue.

Of course, Sting grew paler and paler the more the man talked, so he probably needed some attending to.

The man pulled out a bottle of iodine and wetted a stained purple clothe before patting down Rogue's ear, causing Rogue to clench his teeth in pain. Unsure how loud his screams might be, he was determined not to make any noise. When the sting subsided, Frosch crawled off of Rogue's lap. Guilt hit him when he realized he must have squeezed her.

Then the man patted down Rogue's other ear, and pain chased all thoughts of Frosch from his mind.

The man did his best to place the tattered bits of Rogue's ears back in their proper place, then covered them in gauze, stood, and said what must have been orders for Sting to follow him upstairs, because the both left, Lector in tow.

Frosch looked from the three of them to Rogue, then hopped back onto the couch and rested her head against his side. If nothing else that had transpired told Rogue that there was bad news on the horizon, then the way Frosch buried her face in his shirt and cried was all the information he needed.

-o-

Sting sat down with the doctor at his kitchen table, and waited to hear it. It had been obvious, just from the way the man worked on Rogue's ears, but it still felt like being smacked with a sack of bricks to hear allowed.

"I can't do anything more for him."

"His hearing—"

"Is gone." The man pulled a bottle from his case and set a vial filled it with a green liquid, and dropped a tablet in. "If you found the right plastic surgeon, they might be able to reconstruct his outer ears for you, but the extent of the damage is beyond what I could manage in your basement, and there's no fixing the damage that goes deeper into his ear."

Sting's hands, neat folded in his lap, clenched the fabric of his pants until his knuckles turned white, and he stared down at the potion rather than making eye contact with the doctor.

"Did you bandage it before tracking me down?"

"I didn't have anything to bandage it with."

Rogue used to keep an emergency kit to the hotel for traveling on jobs, and brought the most essential items along on the job itself, but Sting didn't have a reputation for that degree of care. He would need to buy bandages, or get them from the guild, and paranoia over his guildmates watching him had prevented him from doing so. If it got back to Rufus, then what would he suspect, seeing Sting buy so much equipment when he was in perfect health?

"Well, get some. You'll want to change his out. And keep disinfecting the wounds. They're inflamed, and the right side leaked pus."

"I saw."

"If you have to go out of your way to find someone like me, then I imagine you don't want to deal with the fallout from a bad infection, and that's what he's looking at now." The doctor shrugged, zipping everything but his vial back into his bag. "Well, nothing I can do for it. I don't take long jobs. You can show me to the train station."

-o-

It took Sting four days to find a doctor who he could safely bring back to look at Rogue, a man who treated criminals because he wanted to make sure everyone was looked after, and felt that something needed to be done for those afraid to seek treatment due to being injured while breaking the law. He wasn't the best doctor, but people came to him when they already had a terrible rap. For most patients, he merely agreed to keep quiet and help keep them out of trouble, but for those who were already in serious trouble, if you were willing to pay several times his usual fee, he would take a tonic that wiped the last day or so from his memory. Upon tracking him down, Sting had rushed him back home to get him to see Rogue before too much time had passed for the man to forget Sting hiring him as well. After all, if he mentioned an upstanding guildmaster had hired him, it wouldn't take long for people to figure out who Sting might want a back alley doctor for.

This left the man a bit vulnerable in terms of getting home, so Sting agreed beforehand to help him onto a train back to the town he operated out of, so long as Sting saw him take the tonic before getting aboard.

Sting showed the man to the station, watched him down the potion, and in the few minutes before it took the potion to take effect, thanked him for his time and bid him farewell.

He waved as the train pulled out of the station, then looked back down the street. He needed to go home and comfort Rogue, preferably before the fool cut his arm off to try and quiet the voice in his head. He needed to assure Rogue that it would all be alright. That everything would work out in the end.

Aside from the part where Rogue was still wanted dead or alive with a reward, was driven to claw himself deaf over a voice that only he could hear, and whether he was insane or cursed, Sting had no idea how to help him.

He needed to go back to Rogue. Instead, Sting stood there, thinking of how horribly, irreparably wrong everything was, and when the next train pulled in, he climbed aboard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was four paragraphs from finishing my proofread when everything crashed, and I had to comb the chapter again. Hopefully I caught everything u_u


	13. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the stress of caring for Rogue breaks Sting down, and Natsu heats up ravioli.

Inspired by Sting's determination to save Rogue, Natsu rallied Lucy and Erza to accompany him on a job. It was their first together since Gray's death, and his absence was keenly felt, but they all did their best not to dwell on that.

It was pure chance that he returned to Magnolia the same night Sting showed up, and Natsu was glad for it. When he first caught Sting's scent, he let himself hope that there was good news about Rogue. That they'd found some way to seal his shadow, or kill it for good. When he reached his house and spotted Sting outside, curled up in front of the door, hands raked through his hair and face tucked into his knees, Natsu worried it might be the opposite. Rogue had lost his fight with the shadow, and the morning would bring news of more victims he killed in cold blood.

Sting looked up as Natsu approached, eyes streaked with tears, and Natsu ran the remaining distance to meet him.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything."

"Who died this time? Was it Rogue? Lector?"

Sting hiccuped, wiped on eye, then said, "Okay. Not everything. But almost everything is wrong."

Taking Sting by the elbow, Natsu hoisted the blond to his feet and shoved him into the house. "I'll heat up…" Natsu had no idea what food was in his fridge. "I'll heat something up. You can run me through what went wrong. This is about Rogue, right?"

Sting nodded, then glanced down to Happy, who gave him an awkward smile before waddling over to Natsu's hammock and disappearing under the sheets. Natsu had shared everything with him, of course, but Happy had the distinct sense that this was a conversation he had no place in. If nothing else, he could tell it was a conversation where his input was likely to be unwanted.

While Natsu dug up a half-eaten container of ravioli and warmed it up in his hands, Sting seated himself on the floor and gave a brief rundown of the latest disaster. Rogue, apparently not possessed at the time, snapped while alone in the house. He clawed at his ears to deliberately destroy his hearing in a desperate attempt to block out the shadow's voice, and while he had otherwise succeeded in leaving himself deaf, the shadow could still be heard. Sting hadn't found anyone who could fix his hearing. He hadn't found anyone who could sew his ears back up so they were at least a normal shape. With Rogue still wanted for breaking out of prison and murdering twenty-two people, it wasn't possible to take him to a proper hospital. He'd be reported and executed.

"Although I'm starting to wonder if that's even the worst that could happen to him, and that's the part of it all that I can't stand," Sting said. "Rogue himself thinks he deserves all the shit the world gives him, and what happened… I just… fuck. I don't know if something in prison made him snap, or if it was me leaving him alone, or if the stress of all of it is getting to him, or if he was like that all along deep down, and this all just brought it to the surface. He clawed off his _ears_ , Natsu. There was still blood under his nails this evening. You don't think… leaving him alone like that… I tried to be with him as much as possible without making anyone suspicious. I'm trying my hardest, and things only got worse."

"I can stay with him," Natsu offered. "If he hurts himself when you leave him alone, I'll drop in whenever I can. I can say… I don't know… I can say that Gramps is thinking of forgiving you guys for everything that happened, and I'm you two's go-between. I'm sure he won't mind. He's a little sore about everyone who died, but he knows that Rogue had no part in… um… the first wave."

Sting nodded, but didn't look to pleased. When Natsu set a bowl of ravioli in front of him, he glanced down at it, then started crying again.

"You're a good friend," Natsu said, unsure what else to say. "Rogue's blessed to have you. Um… I'm sure that what's going on now is hard, but—"

"It's m-miserable," Sting corrected. "I-I keep trying to h-help him, and I'm so paranoid n-now about…" A sob cut him off. "A-about people f-finding out about him. I still f-feel sick remembering you do, b-because after so many other… After so many other p-people turned on him…"

"Deep breaths," Natsu advised. "Eat your ravioli."

Sting attempted to rub his eyes dry while he steadied his breathing, although he felt them wet again as he ate. Natsu leaned against the kitchen counter and waited until Sting had emptied the bowl before saying, "Is there anyone else in Sabertooth helping you two?"

"It's just you…" Sting set the bowl aside and folded his hands in his lap. "Sabertooth… Ever g-gets along better than before, but it wasn't always the most friendly place, and that change happened a-after Rogue…" He took another deep breath, for all the good it did him. His sobs had evolved into hiccups. "It happened after Rogue was blamed for the dragons. So no one tried to get close to him. I don't think… Th-they're good people, but I don't think I can trust them with Rogue."

Natsu already knew the answer, but he still asked, "So you talk this stuff out with Rogue."

"Of course not! He's… He feels so fragile ever since the breakout… Hell, he was already in rough shape bef-fore. I have to put on a strong front for him. If I acted as bleak as he d-does, he'd probably hang himself."

Nothing Natsu saw when he went to visit gave him that impression, and it hadn't been too long. On the other hand, Rogue had twenty-two people's blood on his hands and said he heard a voice that no one else did. Natsu was still inclined to believe Rogue wasn't imagining his shadow, but the he could see the stress of that wearing down on someone like Lucy, and he'd judged Rogue to be Sting's Lucy. Especially when you added the way everyone treated him even before, such that being trapped in a basement was considered an improvement to his situation. If Natsu ever felt like things were going lousy, he could just remind himself that Rogue had it worse.

But Sting didn't need to be told any of that. He was much more involved then Natsu was, so Natsu had to trust his judgment on Rogue. At least, that was what Natsu thought until Sting spoke again.

"I'm a terrible friend."

"You're going to some awfully extreme lengths, for a bad friend," Natsu said, taking a seat on the floor beside Sting. "And you can't help it that you can't be with him constantly."

"It's not that. I…" Sting swallowed hard, looking guilty. "I'm not sure the shadow is real anymore. I'm sure he thinks it is, but I'm not sure what that's worth. You didn't _see_ what he did to himself. It wasn't something a sane person would do."

"I'd have gone insane in a week, if I was trapped in your basement," Natsu said. "The Rogue that had no reason to pretend he wasn't crazy evil said the shadow was real, and he didn't rip his own ears off. And Rogue was worried about the shadow even before they locked him up, right? He's… I mean… It just sucks to be him, doesn't it? All that stress and all that time alone and everyone expecting him to do all these horrible things. I'm sure he has his moments where it gets to him. So I'll stick around during the day and make sure he's got someone to keep him calm during those moments." Natsu paused, an idea striking him. "And you should pay to renovate the guild. Have a room put in on the top floor or the side or something and say it's so you can crash there overnight when work piles up. Then you have an excuse to stay with Rogue after he moves into _that_ basement if it looks like he's going to have a bad night alone."

Sting nodded, head still hung low.

"We'll seal his shadow," Natsu said. "I'll mention it the next time I see Crime Sorciere, and maybe they'll know something about it. Or I can ask Blue Pegasus. They have a lot of smart people. If the shadow is sealed and you and Rogue both survive the year, then everyone has to admit he's not set on the same path as the other Rogue. And if the shadow _can_ be sealed, then we can also prove it's there, and that'd give him a chance at being… whatever the word is for when they let you off for a crime."

"Acquitted," Sting said, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "I told Rogue the same thing before they arrested him, minus the shadow part."

"You're supposed to keep his spirits up, not let him drag yours down," Natsu said.

"Yeah…" Sting rubbed his cheeks again, and this time they stayed dry. "Um… about Crime Sorciere…"

Natsu didn't dare give the names of the remaining members, not knowing what all Sting might have heard of them, so he said, "Anyway, Rogue's ears are still damaged? Maybe Wendy can help."

Sting hesitated, torn between pursuing his own topic and taking Natsu's bait, and in the end he bit. "She's fine with Rogue? She didn't lose anyone?"

"Everyone in Fairy Tail is family, and we all lost family," Natsu said. "But Wendy will help, and she'll keep it quiet if I ask. We might not want to mention _how_ he got hurt, but I'll let you figure how what excuse to give. Wendy's really good at healing, so maybe she can even restore Rogue's hearing. You're super noisy, so you can use your voice to drown out his shadow and he won't have to worry about it anymore."

Giving Natsu a playful punch in the arm, Sting said, "I don't want to be called noisy by someone like you."

"It's true."

"It's the pot calling the kettle black."

"No. It's just the truth. Do you want me to ask her?"

"Yeah." Sting stood, brushing off the dirt on his pants. Somehow the ground was filthier inside Natsu's house than out. "I have to go. I just… I couldn't face Rogue the way I felt, so I came here without saying anything and figured the cats could keep watch over him a little longer. I need to get back before he has a panic attack."

"You do that. I'll come by tomorrow with Wendy."

"Thanks." Sting considered it a moment, then decided to bend down and give Natsu a hug. "Thank you. Really. I'm not sure how I can repay you for all this."

"Just don't get killed."

-o-

Despite Natsu's faith restoring his own, Sting was still anxious of what he might return to when he came home. Lector had only used two of the pills that Sting gave him, so nothing too awful could have occurred, but then he thought everything was fine the day Rogue decided he'd rather be dead than listen to his shadow.

The welcome he received did make Sting panic a little, but it could have been much worse. He made it inside and had the door shut before Rogue burst out of the basement and ran to tackle him, wrapping his arms around Sting and holding on tight.

Sting stiffened, momentarily panicked at the thought of Rogue upstairs, but then he would have been far less obedient than Rogue about hiding around the clock. Besides, he'd taken off without warning, and while he knew Rogue needed support.

"I should have said I'd be back," Sting said, and it wasn't until he was done that he realized Rogue wouldn't have heard it.

Rogue, feeling the rumble of Sting's chest, looked up and smiled sadly at him.

Returning the smile, Sting embraced Rogue as well.

"I'm sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to just proofread a bunch of chapters at once, make a list of what I want to draw for each of them, then spend a day drawing. That way I don't have to delay updates over drawings that only some people see. 'Specially cuzz I'm gonna be without my tablet and scanner for a few weeks soon. (I should also go back and draw stuff for the chapters where I got sick of drawing... just to be thorough)


	14. Wendy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Natsu and Sting decide to trust someone who doesn't trust Rogue

The tradeoff for being allowed to follow Sting upstairs and curl up in bed with him was that they had to wake up and hurry back to the basement before the sun was up, but that was fine with Rogue. His ears still ached and he heard nothing but his shadow, the raw spot on his leg had developed a yellow tinge, he killed twenty-two people, and the world hated him. Having to wake up early on top of all that was nothing if he got to spend the remainder of the night in a normal bed, above ground, and with his best friend who still believed in him at his side to make sure nothing else would go wrong.

That Rogue accepted the need to get out of bed after only a few hours didn't mean he was any more awake, though. He still stumbled down the stairs in a daze, and nearly collapsed on the couch in the basement when he reached it.

Sting hovered after Rogue made himself comfortable, looking him up and down and saying _something_ , which Rogue just smiled at. Maybe he would learn to read lips, since Sting seemed to have trouble committing to memory that his hearing was gone.

 _He won't live long enough for you to put that to use. Not if he keeps you here_ , the shadow whispered.

Sting gave Rogue's shoulder a pat and returned the smile, and Rogue told himself the shadow didn't matter.

As far as Rogue understood, Sting had to return to the guild once the sun was up, having been gone five days. With that in mind, he savored the minutes that Sting spent sitting on the couch behind him, which turned into an hour, and then two, before Sting finally patted Rogue on the shoulder and left.

Befuddled with Sting's prolonged presence, it took Rogue a moment to realize that he'd never had breakfast, and it was too light out now. Sting would have a heart attack if Rogue went upstairs for something as lengthy as preparing food. Frosch and Lector never came down to the basement in the first place, and were no doubt back to following Sting and leaving Rogue all alone.

Happy as he was to have Sting back, Rogue almost wished his friend had been gone longer. It was nice to have company during the day, and he already felt their absence sorely. He'd already lost his reputation, his freedom, and his hearing. He expected his friends to be the next thing to go. Hopefully, they would all walk out one day and not come back, rather than die trying to snap him out of whatever his shadow made him do.

With nothing to listen to but the shadow, it was only a matter of time. Rogue sat on the couch and scratched at the raw spot on his leg.

He might have been caught red-handed at his new coping mechanism had he not noticed Natsu's scent. Rogue covered his leg immediately, then fretted about the bandages over his ears. If this was another surprise visit, Sting might not have told Natsu about the whole deaf thing. Rogue had been worried about Sting's reaction to his ears, but thinking of Natsu seeing them, Rogue felt his chest constrict with pure shame. At least the bandages would hide the full extent of the damage.

Then Rogue caught another smell, and shame gave way to fear. He barely recognized the scent. Someone from the games, but not someone who he paid any attention to. So set on fighting with Gajeel at the time, Rogue had paid the rest of the competition little heed. Was it someone Natsu trusted? Someone Sting trusted? _Could_ Natsu really be trusted? It was entirely possible Natsu sold them out.

But that was absurd. If Rogue was caught in Sting's basement, Sting would go to jail to. Even if Natsu thought Rogue was dangerous, he couldn't fault Sting of anything more than wanting to help a friend. Natsu would never see anyone sent to jail over that.

Then the door opened and Sting ushered Natsu and the little dragon slayer girl in, and Rogue eased back. It was someone Sting trusted.

And two people who could see his ears.

The only thing Rogue could think of to hide the bandages was to pull his shirt over his head, which would look childish at best. At worst, it would add to the appearance of mental instability that he knew he'd cultivated. Assuming that the whole ordeal with his shadow wasn't _because_ he was going crazy.

Despite his self-restraint to maintain what little image of sanity he had, the girl still took the stairs slowly, watching him with each step like she expected him to spring forward and rip out her jugular with his teeth. In all fairness, it was entirely possible Rogue _had_ done that to someone recently. He never had the nerve to ask how exactly those twenty-two died.

Natsu took her by the arm and pulled her the rest of the way down the stairs. He beamed at her, and he beamed at Sting, and he even beamed at Rogue. His eyes went right over Rogue's bandages like they weren't even there.

For a few brief seconds, Rogue hoped that the damage he'd done to himself would stay hidden. Surely Sting wouldn't tell everyone the full extent, and Natsu wasn't looking at or gesturing to them at all. Not that Rogue had any idea what they were saying. They could be discussing the best way to hand him back over to the Council without getting Sting into trouble, for all Rogue knew. Lip reading wouldn't have done him any good. People talked rapidly, looking the wrong direction for Rogue to even get a sense of their movements, and several times he caught multiple mouths moving at one.

He'd never realized what a big role in his every moment sound made. There was so much about the world that you missed without it. Words, voices, footsteps, the soft, sweet noise that Frosch made in her sleep. Rogue let his shadow get to him and gave that all up.

Lost in thoughts of how further isolated from others he'd made himself, Rogue was taken by surprise when Natsu leaned forward and ripped the bandages off. The girl's distrustful gaze locked on his tattered ears, eyes widening as pity won over caution. Natsu flinched as well, but quickly masked it. He, at least, had been prepped by Sting for the sight.

Rogue, who'd had no warning at all, wanted to crawl into a hole and die, if that was even possible. He didn't think he could get any lower down than he already was, but then he'd thought that ever since the games ended.

He flinched away when the girl put a hand over his left ear, eyes wide with alarm. Sting only rolled his eyes, and then Rogue felt all the more embarrassed. Seeing that reaction, he remembered now that the little girl wasn't just a Fairy Tail combatant. She was the one who could use healing magic. Sting's doctor hadn't worked, so Natsu convinced his healer friend to take a look at him.

Chewing on his lip, Rogue leaned forward and let the girl hover her hand over his ear again, and slowly the pain began to recede. The warmth and itching stopped, and then, with a sudden burst, he heard Natsu whine.

"It isn't even working. He still has that blank look on his face."

"Well, since he still can't hear you, stop screaming," Sting said. "The rest of us can still—oh! Rogue! Are you feeling better?"

Afraid of what his voice might sound like after a week of being unable to hear himself, Rogue nodded.

"I'm almost done on this side," the girl reported. Now that he could ask her, Rogue realized how rude it might seem to admit he didn't know her name. He resolved to get it from Sting later, and to try and thank her without making his ignorance apparent in the meantime.

The girl continued to cup his hand over Rogue's left ear for some time after he regained hearing in it. Then again, he hadn't seen it, but he'd felt how thoroughly the ear was destroyed. If she were mending _all_ the damage he'd done, he could see it taking a while.

When she finished with the left she shifted to his right side, reaching for the bandage, then quickly snapping her hand back to her chest.

"Is it that bad?" Rogue asked. No one had told him one side looked worse than the other. Of course, Lector had also specifically told them that they weren't getting him a mirror to see the damage himself.

The girl's mouth moved, and Rogue thought he caught something about bandages.

Tipping his head so his left ear was closer to her, he asked, "Can you repeat that?"

The girl's second explanation was drowned out by Natsu's roaring laughter. "He only hears on one side! Leave his hearing on the right alone, Wendy! There's so many pranks we can pull on him like this."

"There's also a lot of ways Rune Knights could get the drop on him, or he might not notice someone about to enter the basement and discover him once he's moved to Sabertooth," Sting said, shooting Natsu a glare that sobered the fire slayer instantly. "Please do correct his healing, Wendy."

The girl, Wendy, looked to Sting and nodded before taking a deep breath and telling Rogue for a third time: "It's going to hurt when I rip the bandage off."

A million responses ran through Rogue's head, and since he was at her mercy to get his full hearing back, he went with the least sarcastic. "I've ripped a bandaid off before."

"R-right!" Wendy blushed. "Sorry. I'm just… I wasn't sure what set you… Um… Nevermind. I'll—"

Sting's arm shot out and tore the bandage off before Wendy could say anymore, but she'd already said enough.

What set you…

What set you off.

What set you off when you killed all those men. Those guards. Those petty criminals. Those innocent bystanders.

Sting and Natsu had faith that Rogue would overcome his shadow, but Wendy might not have even been told that the shadow existed. She was someone Natsu trusted, not someone who put any trust in Rogue.

Rogue's eyes dropped from Wendy's face to her shoes, and stayed there while she healed his other ear.

"That should do it." Wendy held her hand out by Rogue's right side and snapped her fingers. "Can you hear alright from this side now?"

His eyes stayed glued to the floor. "Yes. Thank you."

"You should thank Natsu too. He…" Wendy paused. "He was really worried about you."

"Mm."

Wendy bowed deeper than Rogue deserved, then ran back upstairs.

Natsu called up after her, "Don't forget that Sting's making lunch!" before turning to look at Rogue, and by that point Sting had already moved in to offer comfort.

With his hearing out for the past week, Rogue had gotten used to more physical than verbal shows of comfort from everyone. Sting still talked a lot, sure, but every time he remembered that talking did nothing for Rogue, he switched to hugs, shoulder pats, hand squeezes, cheek cuppings, and anything else that he thought might settle Rogue down. He'd also bought sedatives and given Lector the order to use them on Rogue whenever comforting didn't work, but Rogue didn't want to dwell on that while Sting hugged him.

"Don't let her get to you," Sting said. "She doesn't know you, that's all. She saw you didn't mean any harm today, and Natsu vouched for you. Next time we see her, I'm sure she'll be more open."

What she'd seen that day was all the harm Rogue willfully did to himself, but Rogue didn't dare point that out. Sting believed he wouldn't give in to his shadow, as evidence by still sheltering Rogue, but he _didn't_ believe Rogue was done hurting himself. He wouldn't have left Lector those pills if he did.

Rogue didn't have the nerve to call Sting out on that. Hearing Sting admit allowed that he didn't trust Rogue would be too much. Instead, Rogue wrapped his arms around Sting and returned the hug.

"If anyone asked me before those stupid dragons showed up, I'd have laughed at the idea that I might miss your voice."

"Just mine?"

"Frosch's too," Rogue said. "Even Lector's."

"What about the rest of the guild."

"Yeah," Rogue lied.

They'd never been close, despite his wishes. Even when Sting took over and encouraged them to get along more, none of them ever tried to be close to _him_. He was the one who was going to go crazy. At fault for Orga and Dogenbal's deaths, and destined to kill Sting too, since Sting was so foolish as to stick around.

Maybe those pills were a good thing. Maybe Lector needed a dart gun too, to stick him with some drug if he ever went mad and attacked Sting instead of himself.

 _Don't belittle yourself, Rogue,_ the shadow cooed. _You're strong. We could easily kill him before the drugs kicked in._

Rogue shoved Sting off of him.

"I'm fine now," Rogue said. "Do I get to come upstairs for lunch, too?"

"We were all going to eat down here…" Sting muttered, but he glanced up the stairs as he said it, and Rogue knew what he was thinking. Wendy wasn't going to like that plan. "I'll give her something to-go."

"She did us a huge favor," Rogue said. He had no doubts that Sting's mystery doctor was paid handsomely to look at him and keep quiet after, and was similarly certain that Natsu coaxed his friend into helping purely for the sake of helping. "That's lousy hospitality, considering how much she's done."

It would be easy for Natsu to claim ignorance, so long as he wasn't seen visiting too regularly. Easier still for Wendy to deny any blame in helping aid a fugitive. Sting was the only one who was thoroughly screwed if Rogue were to be discovered. Still, anyone who associated with him took a risk in doing so. Even if the way she looked at him made Rogue wither away inside, he admired her kindness in helping someone she was afraid of because Natsu insisted there was a need.

Sting bit his lip, unwilling to leave Rogue by himself just to show gratitude to someone who he thought was acting uncalled for. Rogue feared Sting might refuse, might even vocalize the distrust he'd developed in Rogue that Rogue didn't want to hear confessed aloud, but Natsu came to the rescue.

"I eat with Wendy all the time, so I can keep Rogue company while you sit upstairs with her," Natsu said. "I bet he'd like some change of company, right, Rogue?

In truth, Sting's presence had been sparse so frequently as of late that Rogue felt like it would be a change of pace to have him there for meals. But there would be many meals to come with Sting, hopefully, and Natsu's offer gave Rogue someone to eat with. The plan he'd tried to push on Sting involved Rogue being left all on his own. Even if he'd worked out a trick to deal with his shadow when there was no one else to drown the fiend's whispers out, he preferred the company. Talking with Natsu involved less physical mutilation than slowly scratching a crater into his leg.

Asking Wendy to heal that too while she was there might not have been a bad idea, since it burned and itched the same way his ears had. Asking in front of Sting was out of the question, though. Rogue had already fallen far enough in his friend's eyes.

"I'll be fine with Natsu," Rogue said. "You go let Wendy know how thankful I am to be able to hear again."

Sting shook his head and put a hand on Rogue's shoulder, ready to tell him no, and Sting whispered softly enough that his voice wouldn't carry past Sting's ears, "If nothing else, don't give her one more reason not to come if we need her help again."

This proved too practical a reason for Sting to ignore, and he gave a grudging nod before leaving Rogue alone with Natsu.

-o-

Lunch came, and Natsu and Rogue curled up on the couch to eat, discussing whatever subjects came to mind. Rogue tried to avoid all the depressing subjects like how much me missed sunlight, or the nasty, picked over scratch across his leg, or the way he'd constantly feared that Sting might give up on him during those days he'd been away, which left him with little to talk about. Even his happy stories, like how he had been given approval to come upstairs with Sting in the dead of night, sounded depressing when Rogue really stopped to think of them.

Natsu, in the meantime, had a wealth of stories to share. His team was finally getting back together after something had shattered them, and they were having fun on jobs again. He was vague about what made them split up in the first place, although it didn't pass Rogue's notice that Gray was absent from Natsu's newer adventures, despite having been named in the groups founding. That the number of months since the unnamed incident corresponded with the Eclipse, coupled with Rogue's memory of a Fairy girl shrieking that her precious Gray was dead, made it pretty easy to guess. But Rogue still appreciated that Natsu was trying to dodge that uncomfortable subject. It was a nice change from people suggesting that maybe everyone else might have survived the Eclipse incident if he'd just let himself get killed then instead.

Rogue was beginning to hope that everyone might avoid every subject he wanted to never face for fear of distressing him when Natsu said, "We should give your shadow a name."

"Come again?"

"Your shadow. It has a mind of its own, right? So we should give it a name."

The shadow chuckled at this, the eerie, dark noise emanating from it sending a chill down Rogue's spine. _How absurd. Does he have a second name for himself when he's angry or sad? I'm no less Rogue than any other part of us._

Rogue bit his lip, not liking that he agreed with his shadow that it was a bad idea. "That's more recognition than I want to give it."

"I think it's the perfect amount of recognition. Calling it 'your shadow' all the time makes it sound like some part of you. So you should recognize it as something that isn't you. How does Shade sound?"

"Fine." Rogue couldn't argue that logic when his shadow was off on another of its diatribes about being a part of him. "Shade it is."

 _This is a foolish attempt at deluding yourself,_ Shade said.

Maybe, but it was hardly the worst thing he did to keep his shadow at bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah. Lighter chapter. There's still some self-harm going on, but at least the most apparent damage is gone, right?


	15. Terrorists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tartaros attacks Era, but Sting isn’t involved in any of that.

Natsu hung out with Rogue long enough for Sting to drop by the guild and let everyone know that he was back in town, that he met up with Fairy Tail members and was looking to build up good inter-guild relations, and that he'd be back to his normal schedule come morning. When he returned form that errand, Natsu and Wendy bid him farewell, Natsu lingering just a little longer to warn him that, even if it had only been once, Rogue spoke to his shadow.

Sting mulled that over while he worked on dinner. Rogue had never spoken to it—to Shade, as Natsu deemed the phantom—in anyone else's presence that Sting could recall. It wasn't uncommon at all for Rogue to glance to his shadow and go tense, which was part of why Sting trusted his friend's story. That the habit had appeared in the immediate aftermath of the Eclipse also lined up with Rogue's account, and if his explanation of how he learned he killed everyone while breaking out of jail was to be believed, he conversed with his shadow at length then. But Sting knew that Rogue was sensitive to the idea that he might not be wholly sane, and responding to a voice that only he heard in the presence of others didn't paint a picture of perfect sanity.

Neither did mauling one's own ears, of course.

But Rogue already knew that his desperate attempt to quiet the voice in his head had gone horribly wrong, and Sting saw no sense in rubbing that in. He dished up dinner, headed down to the basement, and ate with Rogue in the cats, careful to keep the conversation focused on how nice if was of Natsu to offer to keep Rogue company during the day.

Only once, when he'd snuck Rogue up to his bedroom for the night and they were both snug beneath the sheets, did Sting say, "There's a lot of people looking to hurt you, Rogue. Please don't be one of them anymore."

In the dark, he couldn't see Rogue's reaction.

-o-

Sting could tell something was wrong when he woke up the next morning. Rogue's scent was off, and it felt too hot under the covers. But a doctor had disinfected his ears two days ago, and Wendy healed them and cured the infection in them completely the day after. Sure, Rogue was under a ton of stress and in a confined space, and had undergone a recent physical trauma, but Sting couldn't handle Rogue getting sick on top of everything else, so he refused to believe it was happening.

Rogue, the selfish bastard, had the nerve to cough twice as Sting led him back into the basement.

"I feel like a jailor," Sting admitted.

"The doors all lock from the inside," Rogue reminded him. "I'm here because I want your help, not because you have me trapped."

"Doesn't make me feel better about telling you to stay down here. I have the guild basement painted over, and I'm putting carpeting in over the concrete this week. I just need to add some furniture to make it livable, and I'm going to go with Natsu's idea and contract out renovations to have my own room added on the second floor, so I can stay the night whenever I get the chance and keep you company more often."

"When did Natsu say that?"

"While you were still deaf." Sting hadn't meant to bring that up, and he hastily added, "Anyway, Natsu thought that it would be nice if you had company during the night once we're moved. I'm sure your shadow… Um… I'm sure Shade is worse when it's dark out, right?"

To emphasize that point, he gestured to the brightly lit basement. They'd already burned through several bulbs providing Rogue's underground world with perpetual day.

The forced edge to Rogue's smile betrayed that he knew the real reason Sting wanted to keep close to him. That the possibility of Rogue hurting himself again was such a huge concern. But Rogue nodded along to the plan. It left Sting feeling dirty, like he was hiding things and taking advantage of Rogue's circumstances to control him, but if Rogue knew what was happening and went along with it…

Well, Sting was only trying to do the best he could for Rogue anyway.

When Rogue coughed again, Sting added cold medicine to the list of things he should take care of in order to help Rogue. They needed to nip that problem in the bud.

-o-

Work was largely uneventful. Rufus had kept on top of all the essentials while Sting was away, and as always had his judgments about Sting's absences and his reluctance to completely disown Rogue. Rogue's trail had been cold for some time, though. Sting had been careful to make sure of that. With no Rogue related activity on the public radar that lined up with Sting's absence, there was nothing to suspect him of. It was easy to contact Fairy Tail and verify that Sting had indeed been entertaining a few of their members in his house the previous day as well.

To Sting's delight, Makarov didn't just verify his story over a communication Lacrima. He also validated the story Sting and Natsu planned to use to excuse Natsu's constant visits, saying that he was interested in forming a sturdier partnership with Sting. Now that their… troubling member was gone, there was no reason for anyone in the guild to protest if Makarov extended an olive branch. He was perfectly happy to oblige a proposal that Natsu must have come up with and presented as a request of Sting's that they perform a member swap to get more of their mages to know one another.

Sting, once he masked his surprise at hearing what Makarov thought was his idea, was perfectly happy to offer Rufus up. After all, wouldn't it be a good idea for his new second in command to see how other guilds handle things, in order to come back with new ideas to help run Sabertooth?

Not that Sting expected there was anything remotely resembling organization in Fairy Tail, but it got the most suspicious of his members off his back for a bit on top of getting Natsu to come over for more than a few hours.

It turned Sting's stomach not to protest when Makarov tried to be tactful by calling Rogue troubling, but he managed to hold his tongue, if only by biting down on it hard enough to draw blood. If he survived through the next July, he would prove everyone wrong. He had to focus on keeping Rogue safe until then. If that meant silently taking it when people spoke ill of Rogue, Sting would manage.

Besides, someone else connected to Sabertooth was about to get into a whole lot more troubling than killing a couple guards while escaping a wrong full imprisonment.

Rufus left not long after the conversation with Makarov ended, intending to pack his things and head out that evening. Not five minutes passed before he ran back in, frantic, a flyer clenched in his hand. He slammed it on the table, looked Sting fiercely in the eye, and said, "Terrorists attacked Era."

-o-

The number of survivors was in the single digits, and none of the Councilors were among them. The one behind the attack was identified by a sole witness as a man with feline features calling himself Jackal.

This would be a huge headache for Sting in the weeks to come. Any slight degree of political turmoil in the magic world somehow doubled his workload, and a complete lack of leadership was going to be a nightmare. If he navigated it well until a new Council was established, then Sting had no doubt that the new group would still bury him in paper work to get them up to speed on his guild's affairs. It was a good thing Natsu was coming to look after Rogue, because Sting foresaw himself being too busy to spend much time with his friend for the foreseeable future.

With the attack, Natsu and Rufus both wanted to wait a few days before setting out to make sure their own guilds remained safe. Fairy Tail had been hit harder than most guilds in terms of members lost to the dragons, so Sting couldn't fault Natsu for worrying.

It was too bad for Rogue, but then Sting had forgotten to tell Rogue that Natsu would be around more anyway. With that in mind, Sting let himself into the basement planning to start with the bad news of the Council's demise, then use the fact that Natsu was coming over soon to lighten the mood.

He found Rogue curled up asleep on the couch, which was totally normal. Sort of. Rogue had confessed to often sleeping through the day, but usually he woke up when Sting came home.

Sting called Rogue's name softly, then louder while shaking him. Rogue groaned and opened his eyes, blinking drowsily at Sting before shutting them again.

That was downright unnatural. Even before the Eclipse, Rogue was one to keep alert when called on. Ever since his jail break, he'd been so dependent on Sting and so starved for socialization that he never missed a chance to interact.

With a sickening twist in his gut, Sting remembered the medicine he'd intended to buy on his way home, and he felt Rogue's forehead. Scorching hot. He swore and ran to look for a thermometer.

The house wasn't equipped with healthcare supplies, something Sting would have Natsu remedy for him. There was no thermometer meant for taking a person's temperature, but Sting did find one meant for cooking. Whether or not it would be as accurate, he wasn't sure, but even if the reading wasn't perfect, it couldn't be a good sign when the machine reported a temperature of a hundred and two.

"Rogue?" Sting shook him again upon seeing the number. "Rogue, talk to me. How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy," Rogue murmured. "Cold. Can we go to bed? I don't want dinner…"

"Bath first," Sting said. With all his precautions, he'd made Rogue sponge himself clean since sneaking him home. There was a tub sink in the back corner of the basement by laundry machine, so he had access to water whenever he wanted. For this, however, Sting thought a real tub was warranted.

He sent Frosch up to the second floor to fill the tub with cold water and Lector to make sure all the blinds were drawn and only the most essential of lights were lit. Then, slinging Rogue over his back, Sting carried his friend upstairs.

The tub was filling when they reached it, and he sent Frosch to gather all the blankets she could and carry them to the basement. Lector, who returned while Sting was helping Rogue out of his shirt, was tasked with setting a can of soup to warm on the stove before dragging the mattress from Sting's bed down to the basement. That thing was likely heavy enough that Frosch would need to help carry it, but Sting trusted Lector to figure that out on his own.

Rogue sat bleary eyed while Sting stripped him and snapped orders, offering unproductive protests to everything Sting said. The blinds should stay up, because Sting had such a nice yard and it was a lovely view out the windows. The lights ought to stay on because how else would they see? There would be no soup because he already threw up once and he was done eating forever. Putting the mattress in the basement was a dumb idea because then where would they sleep? Also, could they just skip the bath and get under the blankets? He was _freezing_.

"No. You're burning up. We need to bring your temperature down first. Then I'll bundle you up as tight as you want."

"Can you bundle me up in the tub then?" Rogue asked.

"I wish I had a recording of this. I'd love to play it back for you later." Sting grumbled. Of course, a recording could be damning evidence if anyone decided to search his house for signs that he was hiding a fugitive. "The blankets won't keep you warm if they get wet. Once we're done here, the soup will help heat you back…"

He froze, spotting a massive wound on Rogue's leg as he pulled the damn fool's pants down. A massive skinned patch running town the side of his leg. When had that gotten there? It didn't look new. Some spots were fresh, recently opened and glossy with blood, while old and new scabs dotted the rest of the strip. Green and white and yellow puss seeped out freely in some spots while trapped beneath scabs in others, and a puffy red sheen colored the surrounding skin. It had no doubt been days in the making, and the infection had been present since before Wendy came the day before. Rogue was likely asymptomatic with his infection when she came. Sting wondered if she chose to leave his sickness intact, or if she merely didn't notice anything beyond his ears.

Sting had seated Rogue on the toilet while undressing him, so he pulled himself up to the sink to vomit, not even registering Rogue's dazed, airy question about if he'd given Sting his cold.

It wasn't so much the sight of the wound. It looked painful, but it was nothing compared to what Rogue's ears looked like before. Rather, it was the deed itself that made Sting sick.

Rogue was still hurting himself. He hadn't stopped with his ears. He hadn't stopped after his ears were healed. He hadn't stopped when Lector and Frosch stayed with him around the clock to keep him company. And worst of all, he hadn't stopped despite Sting's pleas that he not do himself any more harm.


	16. Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rogue is the worst fucking patient you could ever deal with. Drink your fucking broth, you dick.

Rogue shook like a leaf while Sting toweled him dry and helped him into the warmest softest pajamas in the house, and wrapped his arms around Sting's neck as he was carried princess style back to the basement. He resisted when Sting sat him on the couch and held a spoonful of soup, claiming that Sting was dead wrong about how he'd feel better if he ate it, and Sting had to get creative with making him cooperate.

"You're still cold, right?"

"Yeah."

"The soup is warm."

"It smells like crap."

It smelled like salt and chicken, which was all that had been in the can. Lector had tossed in a little spinach and spaghetti noodle to add a bit more substance, and Sting held up a spoonful containing every ingredient.

"The soup will help you feel warm, Rogue."

"I don't want it."

"You don't want to be warm, then?"

"I didn't say that. I don't want the nasty soup."

"If you don't want it, you must not want to warm up. I'll tell Frosch she can take the blankets back upstairs."

Sting shifted his foot to pin the blankets down, in case Frosch didn't realize he was only bluffing. Rogue, brain addled by fever, didn't recognize that Sting would never leave him cold, and grudgingly opened his mouth.

Each time Rogue opened his mouth to protest the soup, Sting shoved another mouthful in, sometimes coaxing Rogue to swallow more by reminding him that it was warm or, when he was desperate, praising him for how good he was for having his soup. Only a truly irredeemable fiend would snub his friend's efforts to keep him safe and healthy. With Rogue's guilty conscious, it was easy to bully him into eating. Problem was that it gave Sting a guilty conscious to do so.

Finally the bowl was emptied, and Sting helped Rogue lie down on the mattress, bundling him up in all but one of the blankets.

"I sleep on the couch," Rogue said.

"I'll take the couch tonight. You get comfortable and get some rest, okay?" Sting kissed Rogue's sweaty forehead. "You need to get better."

"I'm trying really hard," Rogue said. "But everything I do makes you sad, and when there isn't anyone keeping me away from everyone, people die."

"Everything's going to get better," Sting promised, refusing to think too hard about what Rogue said. "Get some rest."

"G'night," Rogue murmured, and Sting thought he was asleep seconds after that.

It wasn't until Sting had wrapped himself in the last blanket and curled up on the couch, when Rogue spoke again, that he realized he was wrong.

"I don't want to do that. Sting wouldn't give me a knife anyway. I bet he thinks I'd slit my throat."

A shiver went down Sting's spine, and he asked, "Rogue, are you sleep talking?"

"I'm awake, silly,"

"Who are you talking too?" Sting asked. Lector and Frosch hadn't said a word.

"No one. Just Shade."

-o-

Once, during the night, Sting woke to find Rogue standing over him, expression blank, one hand hovering above his throat.

"Rogue?"

Rogue hand twitched, his eyes glassed over momentarily, and then refocused on Sting. "I suppose you could call me that."

It was clear. Coherent. Nothing like Rogue's feverish mumblings. Sting pushed himself into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and asked, "Are you feeling better?"

Rogue smiled down at him. "This body's been in better shape."

It was an unusual sentence, but unusual described most of the things Rogue had said since his fever set in. Sting didn't realize just what was amiss until that hand Rogue still had outstretched wrapped around his neck and squeezed.

Taken by surprise, it took Sting a second to react, but he made up for the delay in time with power. He punched Rogue in the gut hard enough to make him gag, then sprang from the couch and pinned him to the floor, fist raised in case he tried anything else stupid.

Rogue struggled to shove Sting off of him, but weakened by his fever and by months of confinement and fear of practicing his magic, was unsuccessful in shoving away the active guild mage.

"Sting?" Sting heard Lector ask, although he didn't glance back.

Their scuffle must have woken the cats. It was only a second after Lector spoke that he heard Frosch cry, "Don't hurt Rogue!"

Rogue glanced to Frosch, went still, then blinked and looked around. Only once his movements calmed did Sting notice the black markings trailing down his friend's arms and stretching out towards his face. Those hadn't been there two hours ago.

"Sting?" Rogue asked. "What are you doing? I thought I could trust you."

"Rogue can," Sting said. "You're not Rogue. Shade, I take it?"

Shade snickered, the dark grin he'd worn when he tried to strangle Sting returning. "I suppose, although you'd be more accurate to call me Rogue as well."

Whatever that meant. "Leave Rogue alone."

"Make me."

Rogue was weak and sick and overflowing with self-hate, so Sting didn't want to hurt him, but at the same time he wasn't going to back down from such a challenge from Shade. He used holy magic. He could force back a stupid shadow if he wanted.

Charging his magic into his hand in a free-casting effort based more on instinct than any technique Weisslogia had taught him, Sting grabbed Rogue's face and discharged, filling the room with a blinding whit light before it dimmed back to it's usual, perpetually lit brightness.

The marks were almost entirely faded by the time one could see through Sting's magic again, and they hovered at the edge of disappearing a few seconds longer. Rogue's eyes went in and out of focusing on Sting, and Shade got out one last chuckle and said, "You won't always be able to keep this side of me at bay. The shadows always come back when the light goes out."

"I'm not going anywhere," Sting said, but by that point the markings had vanished, and Rogue slumped back, unconscious.

He didn't stir again as Sting dragged him back to the mattress, nor at any point beyond that throughout the night. Sting and the cats still took turns keeping watch.

-o-

Rogue endured applesauce and rice around mid-morning the next day, albeit only after throwing up the oatmeal Sting forced on him that morning. When Sting wasn't forcing him to do something to keep his condition from worsening, he slept like a log, curled up on the mattress with Frosch nestled in his arms. Lector, meanwhile, had been sent to buy supplies for Rogue's wound. Sting had washed it was best he could the night before, ignoring Rogue's pleas that he leave it alone because it hurt so much, but it sorely needed disinfectant. Given the smear of blood on Sting's bed sheets the next morning, it could also stand to be bandaged.

There was no mention of the fight. Rogue didn't even remember coming to with Sting on top of him as anything more than a fevered dream, which Sting decided to leave that way for the time being. It would need to be discussed, of course, but he saw no reason in distressing Rogue while he fought his infection. Besides, Sting wanted to verify that the fever was a part of how Rogue was possessed. He'd managed to keep from giving into Shade again while in decent health, and it couldn't just be that sleep led to him being possessed, because in that case there had already been a few opportunities for Shade to murder Sting in his sleep, and plenty for him to attack the cast.

Although on the bright side, he was now confident that it was a matter of possession that they were dealing with. In good health it was entirely possible for Rogue to use his Shadow Drive technique to fake such markings, and Rogue wasn't film star material, but he wasn't the world's worst actor. Pretending to have an evil alter-ego was possible. Acting so calm and coherent all of a sudden when he'd been completely out of it from his fever, only to go back to a complete spaz come morning, had sold Sting on the idea of the evil shadow. Any questions he'd had about Rogue's sanity after the self-mutilation were gone, at least insofar as what it might mean for the people he'd killed. Sting was once again certain Rogue's dark acts towards others had been due to possession, but Rogue's attacks on himself were still questionable.

Since Rogue wasn't yet coherent enough to give a productive answer if grilled, Sting held off on asking why and how the wound came about, although that Rogue hadn't shared its presence with him made the basics of the second question obvious. He was sitting on the couch, staring at the wound and wondering if Rogue's fever was severe enough to warrant begging Wendy to come back again, when he heard the doorbell ring.

Of course. Normally he was at the guild by this point.

With a heavy sigh, Sting pushed himself to his feet and dragged himself upstairs. He couldn't have been less surprised when he opened the door to find Rufus waiting for him.

"Oh." Rufus blinked, taking in Sting's haggard appearance.

He'd forgotten to bathe himself, as well as eating something of his own while trying to get Rogue to keep down some sustenance. He wore the same clothes he had the day before as well, which were now wrinkled from sleeping in, and his hair was a mess. Having gotten almost no sleep fretting over how casually Rogue spoke to Shade while feverish, Sting even had dark rings under his eyes, which drooped lower than usual.

All in all, he looked like someone who wasn't in a good place to be up and about, which was the one stroke of luck with the whole situation, because fugitive or not, he would have dare left Rogue alone while so sick.

"I… ah… I wanted to know if you would come to the guild today."

"Day of mourning," Sting grumbled. "Whole Council went up in flames yesterday."

"Ah… Yes. Well… I suppose I'll handle things, then. I leave tomorrow, so perhaps you'd like me to stop by in the evening and hand off any relevant reports?"

"Please and thank you."

Sting shut the door without waiting for any further response.

Back down in the basement, he found Rogue no longer peacefully curled up, and Frosch sitting beside her partner looking concerned. Rogue's face was scrunched in pain, and he occasionally whimpered or murmured something distressful. "Please no," or "I don't want this." That was fair. Sting didn't want any of the shit they'd put up with lately either. All things considered, he was surprised that he didn't see Rogue having nightmares more often. Then again, he'd only kept Rogue company throughout the night twice.

Maybe the nightmares were common. Maybe he was a terrible friend for leaving Rogue alone for so many hours at a time, even if he already did all he could.

It was easy to wake Rogue when Lector returned. The shadow slayer quietly complied with Sting's insistence that he have something to drink, then staggered to his feet to relieve himself. Once he had that taken care of, he fell back onto the mattress and became difficult to care for again.

"I need to see your leg."

"No."

"Rogue, please."

"You'll get mad."

There was nothing more frustrating than hearing Rogue admit he tried to hide the wound. "I know what it looks like, Rogue. I saw it last night."

Rogue's eyes widened, and he looked like he might throw up again. "You did?"

"I did. Lector brought some things that will help it hurt less. Let me see your leg, Rogue. I want to help you feel better."

Despite knowing he'd been caught, Rogue still struggled with himself before reluctantly leaning back and lifting his leg up for Sting.

Sting slowly rolled Rogue's pajamas back to reveal the wound. He'd already seen it once, but hadn't looked forward to viewing it again. Sting's vigorous scrubbing the night before had pealed most of the scabbing off. Although there was less puss, the redness was no worse.

"Does it bother you at all?" Sting asked to keep Rogue distracted while he dabbed a cotton ball with iodine. Rogue had done this a couple dozen times before when he was hurt on a mission, and it was time to return the favor.

"It itches a lot," Rogue said. "It hurts too, but that's a good thing."

Sting shivered, hand hovering above Rogue's wound. "Why is it good?"

"If it hurts a lot, then I can't pay attention to Shade."

"Ah. I see. We're about to tune Shade out, Rogue."

Rogue shrieked when Sting put the cotton ball on his leg, then bit down on his hand to muffle all but the most pathetic of whimpers. So even though he wasn't quite in his right mind, he remembered the need to keep quiet. That was a relief, at least.

Getting Rogue to swallow a few light, easy to stomach foods had been a headache, but he sat still while Sting doused his wound in iodine. He grimaced in pain, of course, but he said nothing in objection.

This changed when Sting pulled the bandages out, and Rogue pulled his leg back.

"I need to wrap it up, Rogue. It's bleeding."

"I can't reach it if it's covered."

"That's kind of the point."

"It stops Shade."

"No. It made you horribly sick. I told you to stop hurting yourself, Rogue."

"I can hear just fine."

"It's not about your fucking ears!" Sting snapped. "It's about you! All of you! What if the infection got so bad we had to amputate your leg? What if you tried cutting your wrist to distract yourself from those voices and you bled out? No hurting yourself! Not anywhere! Not ever again!"

Rogue went stiff, eyes wide with alarm, skin practically white he was so pale—as if his seclusion and sickness hadn't already drained him of enough color. He was so still Sting wasn't even sure if he was breathing, and it was Frosch who gently picked Rogue's foot up and pushed it back towards Sting.

"Fro wants to see Rogue be all better, so Rogue has to let Sting make his hurts go away," Frosch said. "Fro doesn't want to see Rogue hurt anymore."

Rogue glanced to Frosch, then bowed his head so deep his bangs completely obscured his face. Were he in his right state of mind, Sting might have made an effort to comfort Rogue first. If you could even call the way he acted when not feverish a right state of mind. Since Rogue still wasn't playing with a full deck and was not a compliant patient, Sting took Rogue's foot and set to work wrapping the wound first.

-o-

By the third day, Rogue's temperature was stable at a somewhat acceptable ninety-nine and a half degrees. The idiot was back to thinking clearly, but no less frustrating a patient.

"I'm seriously going to vomit if you try and force feed me that."

"Awesome. Aim for my feet and not my hair."

"Sting, really. I don't feel good. Just… just let it rest, okay?" Rogue asked, taking the bowl of soup from Sting's hands and setting it on the floor.

The motion made him queasy, which he didn't even try to hide. His memory of the past few days was hazy, especially when the fever was at its worst, but he recalled enough. Lousy as he felt, he hoped that the combination of acting like he was able to handle things and appearing pathetic enough that he might earn some sympathy would get him out of being force fed.

"You're not going to get better if you don't eat."

"I'm not going to get better if I have to lie down all day with stomach cramps, trying my hardest not to blow chunks," Rogue said, which was a little odd to say, because all he wanted to do was lie down all day. He felt _better_ , but considering how terrible of shape he'd been in, that wasn't saying much. He was still cold and achy and weak and nauseas, and turning his head too fast made him dizzy. It was just that all of things applied a little less than they did the day before.

The day had only begun, but Rogue was tires as all get-out. Nightmares had interfered with all attempts at solid sleep, and all of his napping the day before had made it difficult to sleep in the first place. As much as he told himself he liked having Sting there, he didn't appreciate being kept up and pressed to choke down something that just _smelled_ so nauseating.

Rescue from the soup came in the form of the doorbell ringing, and Rogue gave Sting a reassuring smile while his friend went to check on it. He could vaguely recall Sting going to answer the door the other day over coming to the guild, and if he was successfully dragged into going today, that would give Rogue hours where no one was trying to make him eat anything.

The moment Sting shut the basement door, Rogue eased himself from the couch to the mattress, ignoring Lector's protest that Sting told him to eat. Sting didn't always know best. He got himself snug beneath the sheets, shut his eyes, and was about to drift off when he heard Natsu's voice.

"That's weird. Wendy should have cured his fever while she was here."

"Maybe it didn't look that bad at the time? It all came on real suddenly."

"From the ear infections?"

"No. He was peeling the skin off his leg. I tried to clean it up, but it might need fresh bandages and more disinfectant today. Try and make sure he doesn't find some other place to go at himself. Oh—and if he gets so bad you can't talk him down, Lector has pills. I'm not sure how well they'll sit with him now, but they'll… um… they make him sleepy. It's just a last resort for if Shade is driving him to do something insane again. Like claw out his eyes. He talked to the shadow a few times while he was really delirious, and I'm not sure he even realized he was doing it. I half worried he'd go to sleep as himself and wake up someone else, he was so out of it."

Rogue pulled the pillow out from under his head and put it over his ears, wishing he was still deaf. Sting must have thought he still was, to say all of this at a normal volume. He didn't need to hear someone he was supposed to rely on teach every last person who hadn't turned on him to drug him if he looked like he was 'insane'.

He expected Sting to descend the stairs immediately after this and scold him for not having his soup, all the while pretending he wasn't teaching Natsu all sorts of awful things. Instead, Sting's footsteps disappeared towards the second floor and Natsu came down alone.

"Sting told Rogue to eat his soup, but Rogue went back to bed instead!" Lector cried, and Rogue whipped the pillow out and whacked the little snitch with it.

"That's alright. If Rogue wants to sleep, he can have the soup later. I'll keep it warm for him."

"You're going to have to fight Sting over it," Lector warned.

"Sting's going to the guild. I'm Rogue's nurse for the day."

Rogue lifted his head up to speak, then paused, the dizziness momentarily disorienting him. By the time he found what he meant to say again, the conversation had moved on, but he didn't have a chance to process this before his words came out.

"People are going to look suspicious if you keep coming over."

"By people, you mean me and Sting, right?"

"Right." Actually, he meant Rufus and anyone else who kept an eye on Sting, and also meant to say they would _get_ suspicious, but the way Natsu interpreted it, it sounded like Rogue was trying to be vaguely threatening, which beat looking like an idiot.

"Anyway, if you're back with us, I was telling Lector that I'm staying over for a few weeks. Official guild business. Gramps traded me for that guy with the foppy hat. Sting's gonna try and get renovations done by the time I have to go home. 'Till then, the plan is that I'll be here more often than not, so you can have something with ya when Lector and Frosch go to the guild. And we're locking Happy in the basement with you, so you'll always have him."

Rogue looked around and saw no blue cats.

"He's gonna flush the toilet while Sting showers. He'll be here soon."

"Oh." Happy sounded like he'd be pleasant company while Sting and Natsu had to make appearances outside. Maybe he'd drug Rogue as a prank.

"Man. You really look awful, though. Sting said you were doing better… so I guess you were in real bad shape before."

"Thanks."

"Sorry. You just look sick. How are you feeling?"

Rogue took stock. He couldn't breathe through his nose, his throat was coated in phlegm, his stomach was cramping and just looking at that soup made his insides seize up, moving his head too quickly made the room spin, he was cold despite all the blankets, and it was _so much effort_ to even prop himself up on his elbows.

"Sick."

"Okay. I get it," Natsu said with a sigh. "Have your nap. Your soup'll be waiting for you when you wake up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise Shadow!
> 
> Anyway, that scene aside, I'm very much a fan of stories where people nurturing sick people back to health. Or taking care of sick people in general. Just in case all of Burn Out didn't make it obvious that I like the trope.


	17. Gray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rogue learns about a casualty of the dragon battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live

Happy's company wasn't as entirely unpleasant as Rogue had expected. The cat turned out to be an equal opportunity troller, going after Natsu as much as he did Rogue, but he drew a hard line at pranks and teasing comments that he knew would cause real distress. Many a joke was made about how Rogue was a shut-in, but the blue cat tactfully avoided anything to do with Rogue's mental stability, bloodied hands, evil shadow, or newfound dependence on self-harm. Even when Natsu caught Rogue scratching at his unbandaged leg twice, Happy didn't try to turn the subject on Rogue.

Natsu, on the other hand, had never been one for tact. After the second time he yanked Rogue's hand away from his leg, he snapped, "Do you want to give Sting another heart attack?"

"Of course not."

"You don't care that much about yourself anymore, do you?" Natsu asked, and he didn't give Rogue a chance to confirm as much before he went on. "You might think it's fine to hurt yourself, but you don't want to hurt Sting. So if you're not going to leave yourself alone for you, then do it for his sake."

Rogue tried to find some counter for that, and it did cross his mind to say that the families of that couple he murdered might feel better if he was hurt, but he couldn't come up with any real protest. He started picking at his skin because it was the only way he could drown out his shadow while deaf, and he couldn't think of any specific reason why he would need to do that now that his hearing was restored and he had two people spending the day with him.

The best explanation he could openly give for why he was starting on a new wound after the last got so badly infected was that it had turned into a nervous tick. A more honest one would be that the constant ache from his bandaged leg felt like the beginning of penance for giving into Shade and killing twenty-two people, or that it was his own doubts he needed to drown out on top of Shade's voice, and the pain helped with that. But he didn't dare admit as much.

Alleviating that guilt, telling himself that someone was punishing him for his murders, was something Rogue desperately wanted. After Natsu framed his deeds as a roundabout assault on Sting, however, Rogue caught himself the next time he started scratching. There were still a few extra white lines across his leg where he'd begun to tear the skin, but it was fewer additions than there could have been.

He thought he'd been subtle about picking at himself in the first place, and had managed to cover the new site after stopping himself before Natsu looked his way, but Rogue was clapped on the back and told, "You're doing great," seconds after he managed to break away, and he felt his cheeks burn with shame.

Stealth used to be a strong suit of his. He could hide himself so deeply in the shadows that he would even fool Sting's nose. Now that he'd practically sworn off of magic, Rogue realized how dearly his physical abilities were lacking.

Rogue half wondered if Natsu and Happy took turns watching him while he slept to make sure he didn't do anything stupid even when he was unconscious. One of the other of them was always right there, ready to pounce if they thought Rogue was about to do anything. It was like being on suicide watch.

Not that he dared say as much, lest they worry about the fact that he was fixated on the idea of suicide on top of everything else. Instead, most of the energy that didn't go to trying to avoid the two's constant gaze was spent resisting meals. Natsu had held that bowl of soup in his hands the entire time Rogue napped, keeping it warm with his magic, and the noodles and assorted vegetables that Sting dropped in that morning were disgustingly soggy. Rogue suspected he would have thrown it up even if he wasn't sick, although Natsu insisted it was just his bug that made his stomach rebel.

After the disaster that was lunch, Natsu decided to see Rogue's wound for himself. He fetched a bucket of water before removing the bandages, took a look at the wound, and began rinsing it. It didn't look quite as bad as Rogue remembered, although it hadn't miraculously healed over in the two days he'd been out of it either. Sting's intervention had at least done a good job treating the infection, and there was little inflammation left around the peeled away skin. Still, Sting wasn't the one who usually treated wounds. That was a task Rogue usually handled. And, it seemed, Natsu.

"Looks like you almost clawed your way down into the muscle," Natsu said. "Well, it's not like you have chubby legs, so you don't have to get too deep to pull that off."

"Thanks? Do you do this often?"

"Not since Wendy joined the team, but for a while it was just me and Happy. You gotta be able to look after yourself when there's no one else to handle it for you. Or have you never gone on a mission alone?"

"Not really."

He hadn't gone on a mission at all in his days admiring Phantom Lord. They had a strict policy against child members, and Gajeel wasn't interested in letting any non-member, especially a little runt of an orphan, tag along with him. He and Sting had been recruited to Sabertooth at the same time and paired together based on their magic. The match worked out, so they only split up since when ordered to train someone else. Or when Rogue was ordered to quit working as a wizard entirely.

"Natsu always had to tie himself down before I could clean his wounds," Happy added.

"Not true. He's lying. Don't listen to him."

Rogue gave a grunt of affirmation.

"Oh. Speaking of needing to be tied down, I'm gonna put more iodine on, just to be safe. Don't you dare kick me, okay?"

"I can do it," Rogue said, reaching for the bottle.

"Nah." Natsu pulled it out of reach. "This stuff stings, and I don't want you getting into… um… I always get twitchy with putting it on myself. It's easier to have a second person do it. No chickening out."

"Right. Of course." Except for the part where Natsu didn't quite catch himself before letting slip that he was worried Rogue would get off on the pain. "I don't think Sting's ever had the nerve to disinfect his own cuts either. Go ahead."

They had every right not to trust him. It was good that they didn't trust him. He shredded his own ears, and when they thought that was over, they found he'd slowly been skinning his leg. It was to block out Shade and all those wounds they couldn't bandage. That was all. But from their perspective, there was reason to worry.

The spot he'd just begun to scratch at on his left leg itched.

"What was Gray like?" Rogue asked, suddenly desperate not to think of his legs at all.

Natsu froze in the middle of wetting a ball of cotton with iodine, and Happy had to tip the bottle right-side up and set it down when purple started seeping out and staining the concrete floor.

"Gray," Rogue repeated. "You didn't talk about him too much. He was one of the competitors during the games, right? The one who beat Rufus. I didn't pay too much attention to him at the time, but I remember that much. What was he like?"

"Well… He was… He was really stupid. And rude. And annoying. And a total nag. Just the most frustrating guy in the world, and always on my case about everything. He was a pervert too. He'd walk about the guild in nothing but boxers all the time—if that. But he was reliable, you know? I knew someone had my back when we fought together, and even if he got on my case for things that didn't matter, he'd be there to smack some sense into me if I screwed up. Why?"

"I guess… Sting always dodges the subject, and most people stopped talking to me period after … after what happened. And after the jail break, I was too horrified to ask. Outside of the guild members Sabertooth lost, I don't really know anything about the people I killed."

"You didn't kill Gray."

"Not yet."

"Not ever!" Natsu cried, squeezing Rogue's leg as he leaned closer to Rogue's face. "Neither of us would be here if I thought you would turn into that bastard, Rogue, because I'd have beaten you black and blue and dragged you back to jail if you were the type. But I know you're not going to give in to Shade or turn into anything awful. What happened that night wasn't your fault! You didn't do _any_ of it! You didn't _want_ any of it! I swear I'd bring Ultear back to life just to beat him half to death again for trying to kill you back then when I _told him_ you shouldn't be the one to pay for what some asshole from the future did."

"Ah… Okay. You're… um… You're cutting off the circulation to my foot."

"Oh! Crap!" Natsu let go of Rogue's leg then, remembering why he was even holding it in the first place, dampened another cotton ball and grabbed his foot again.

Rogue tensed as Natsu dabbed the iodine on, hissing at the sting of the cotton on his raw skin. His recollections from when his fever was at its worst were hazy, but he could remember the last round of disinfectant clearly. Funny how pain could cement itself in one's memory like that. The iodine really did smart. He could see why Natsu was worried that he might start using it to try and hurt himself. Although compared to clawing your ears off, rubbing iodine on your infected wound more often than you needed to seemed like a pretty tolerable act.

"There we go." Natsu gave Rogue's leg what Rogue supposed was intended to be a friendly pat, but felt more like a hard slap. "You handle that well. I guess you were the one who handled all the unpleasant work when you and Sting were out on jobs. You're good with clenching your teeth and bearing it."

"Yeah." Rogue shifted so Natsu had a better angle to wrap fresh bandages. " _Were_. If Sting didn't step up and take charge on that one, I'd be done for by now. Whether I had a place to hide on my own or not, I wouldn't have made it a week after prison, and that's assuming I would have lasted long enough to get arrested." As it was he probably wouldn't have thought to eat anything after breaking out had Sting not dragged him home and fed him. All he'd been able to think about was the blood literally on his hands.

Rogue hadn't had any sort of deliberate suicide in mind when he said that. Shade had killed any plans for suicide anyway. Rogue risked being possessed again if he tried to kill himself.

Natsu, however, must have heard Rogue's confession as an admission that he had seriously contemplated suicide, because he tied off the bandages and gave Rogue the world's most reassuring smile before asking, "How would you not have made it long enough to be arrested?"

"I…" Rogue's thoughts scattered when Natsu put a hand on his knee, and he ran through his words carefully as he reorganized them. There could be no room for misinterpretations, or Sting would never toss those sedatives. "In the aftermath of the Eclipse… there were just so many people who were mad at me. At first I told myself it didn't matter, because all I did was help _defend_ the city, but the more everyone treated me like I was a ticking time bomb… the more I felt like one. I didn't kill those people _yet_ , but it was still me. It… It _had_ to be. Because it just… it's so strange to think that the entire country could be wrong about me. People who never met me, sure, but even my own guild. Sting was the only person who really stuck by me.

"If that woman had killed me, would everyone else have lived? She said she only attacked me to stop the chaos, and she seemed so certain in herself. It was something I started wondering about whenever I heard about someone who the dragons killed. That maybe my dying might have saved all those people, like that woman said. And I started wondering if, maybe, if someone who's loved one I took came after me… Maybe it would be wrong to defend myself.

"There was a girl from your guild who screamed and cried and called me a murderer because of one of the members you lost. I think it was Gray, actually. Someone held her back at the time, and I really did expect her to track me down and tear into me again. I don't know. Everyone turned against me so suddenly, it seemed like it would happen."

"That's Juvia," Natsu said. "She really liked him. She went missing a few days after he died."

"I'm sorry…"

"We already went over this. It isn't your fault. Ultear was wrong saying you should die, and Juvia lost it with people if Gray so much as smiled at them. Don't let what they said make you think you're to blame. Don't let what any of those people think get to you so bad. So what if most of your guild didn't trust you? Your guild was horrible with working together anyway, so most of them probably still didn't know you that well."

Rogue made a vague noise of affirmation and pulled his leg back to inspect the bandages. Natsu hadn't wrapped the wound as tightly as Sting, nor applied as many layers. Had Rogue been injured in too many other places, he suspected Sting would have turned him into a full on mummy just to cover his bases, but Natsu knew what he was doing.

"How is it?" Natsu asked. "It's been a little while since I had to do that."

"It's fine. Thank you, Natsu."

"No problem. I mean, you're not feeling well, right? Best not have you contorting yourself to get fresh bandages on if you can't even drink soup."

"No. I mean… That too, but thanks. Even though we didn't talk much before all of this began… thank you for not holding any of it against me."

Natsu glanced to Happy for help, but Happy shrugged, equally unsure what the best response to that was. Still floundering, Natsu mumbled and awkward assurance under his breath about how it was okay. Then, much louder, faster, and clearer, he said, "How about applesauce? Sting has a lot of applesauce. I think he bought one of those bulk discount jugs. You gotta keep down something today. I'll get you a bowl."

-o-

While Rogue choked down applesauce, Natsu changed out the bloodied bed sheets for something clean. Rogue crawled under the blankets to nap through the afternoon thinking that he'd made the subject of his entire situation too awkward, and he wasn't entirely wrong. Natsu was nothing but reassuring smiles, but he was hardly subtle in how he avoided heavier subjects.

Rogue wasn't entirely right either. As he was drifting off, he heard Natsu ask, "Are you still awake?"

It took self-control to keep his breathing steady, and Rogue said nothing in response, curious to hear what Happy and Natsu might discuss about him when they thought he couldn't hear.

"Hey, I'm really sorry. About everything. Hisui met the future you too, but if I asked her to keep quiet, we could have pretended it was a total stranger behind everything, and told you the truth in private. If I'd known then that Ultear went and attacked you anyway, I woulda. It just… It didn't even occur to me that things would turn out like this. That everyone would treat you the way they did. It's not that I was mad about Gray or anything. I didn't know he was dead yet. I just didn't think. I'm so sorry, Rogue."

The mature response would be to assure Natsu that it was okay. It wasn't like Natsu deliberately cast him as a villain and made him public enemy number one. Shade was already a problem before the Eclipse started, and there was no guarantee that Rogue wouldn't have been possessed again if he hadn't been arrested.

The mature response would have been to assure Natsu that it was okay. Rogue told himself that he didn't do that so Natsu wouldn't know he faked being asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand we're back. Tbh I'm not sure why updates stopped. I haven't been super motivated with this fic (on account of it's lukewarm reception) and I hit a block with the chapter I'm working on, but that's a few chapters out. I really have no good excuse for not posting my buffer chapters in the meantime--even if they would have run out by this point.
> 
> Just binged the first 17 chapters. Gonna proofread the rest of what I've got and force myself to get past this rough spot I'm stuck on. Even if this isn't my most popular fic, I want to give it the ending I envisioned.


	18. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a confrontation

Sting was grim-faced when he returned that evening, which Rogue didn't understand. He'd eaten everything Natsu gave him eventually, even if he still threw up that soup, and managed all the water Natsu pushed for him to drink. His first thought was that Natsu might have mentioned that he'd said something vaguely suicidal, but to the best Rogue's knowledge Natsu had watched over him while he rested, and hadn't had a chance to report the conversation behind Rogue's back.

Sting ushered Lector and Frosch into the basement and shut the door behind him, waiting until he'd descended the stairs before holding a newspaper out for Rogue and Natsu.

Not once, Rogue realized, had Sting brought him the paper since he broke out of jail. He supposed that Sting probably didn't read the news often enough to think that Rogue might appreciate it as a way to follow what happened in the world outside Sting's home. He only needed to glance at the headlines to see why Sting had bothered to grab a paper that day.

_Targeted Attacks On Councilors Continue._

"When did that start?" Rogue asked.

"Same day you got real sick," Sting told him, unfolding the newspaper. "I would have told you then, but I don't think you could have spelled your own name if I asked you. How are you feeling, by the way?"

Rogue kept a completely straight face as he reported, "Natsu starved me, and beat me when I begged for food."

"Did not!" Natsu cried.

"Oh good, you're feeling better. So how's he doing?"

Huffing with indignation, Natsu told Sting, "He slept a lot. Five hours, maybe? He threw up that soup you already had sitting out for him, but I got him to eat some applesauce, and he had more of that and rice and a hard-boiled egg not too long ago. We got his bandages changed, too. I don't know what it looked like before, but his leg wasn't bleeding much and the infection wasn't that bad. Also I spilled iodine on your floor."

"Cool. A little less grey. Should help ward off some of the dreary in this place," Sting said as he flipped to the page that gave the full story on the latest string of murders. "Oh, by the way, what color rugs do you want, Rogue? I thought it might be hard to hide all the work that goes into carpeting, so I measured the space in the guild to fill with rugs instead."

"I really don't care," Rogue said. "What were these attacks? They must be determined, if this is the second one. I'm sure the security at Era right now must be through the roof."

"Era's pretty much gone," Natsu said. "That bomber guy took out the whole building and everyone on the Council. So there isn't even anyone _left_ to attack."

"Former Councilors," Sting said. "Whoever's behind these, they're going after former Councilors now. They must want some sort of information that the current… um… most recent Council wouldn't give them." He found his page and laid it out for Rogue and Natsu to huddle around. "They've found three more dead, and now there's an emergency call for the remaining former Councilors to rush to a safe house, although two of them they only realized were dead after someone killed the third in broad daylight. Broke into the guy's restaurant and killed him in front of a dozen patrons, then walked out and vanished."

"Yajima," Natsu gasped, eyes glued to the story now. "Have there been any other casualties?"

"Not from the restaurant, but there was a dead gardener who tried to save one of the other guys. They have a list of people who are safe and hidden, and a couple names of members who are unknown."

"What about Jellal?" Natsu asked, voice growing frantic.

Rogue wouldn't have given the question much thought, as he couldn't get involved in any sort of rescue while he was still wanted, and since Natsu had no doubt been dragged to Era to be reprimanded often enough to be familiar with the Council. He would have known all the members from a decade ago as well, given the whole incident where he disappeared for years without aging. It didn't make much sense when Sting gave Natsu an odd look.

"I suppose Jellal could turn himself in for protection," Sting said slowly, "But if anyone knew where he was, he'd be back in jail by now. Unless you have any ideas…"

Natsu shook his head. "He only contacts… I mean… No."

"Actually, now seems like as a good a time as any to ask," Sting said, pushing the paper over to Rogue, who cared more about this curious exchange than he did a newspaper that he had all the time in the world to read. "The other Crime Sorciere members… they're Jellal and Meredy, right?"

Natsu's gaze on the paper hardened, and he didn't respond.

"Come on. I'm hiding Rogue in my basement. I'm not about to judge you for consorting with _another_ fugitive."

"That's them," Natsu muttered. "Why?"

"Do you think they'd take Rogue? Once we have the Shade situation dealt with, I mean."

Natsu stared at the floor, thinking about it, then up to Rogue. "How do you feel thinking about those people you killed during your break out?"

"Like I'm going to throw up again."

"Jellal would love him," Natsu said. "New pet project for his redemption binge. But I can't just go and ask. He doesn't keep anyone updated on the guild's movements, and I'm not even sure he and Meredy even have a plan for where to go next at any given time. When they need help, they contact Erza."

"Erza?"

"Erza. She's… She's the closest to them." Natsu's lips twitched up when he said that, suggesting that whatever her connection was, 'close' didn't quite capture it. "I'm not sure how long it takes those two to get news like this, since they try to avoid being seen, but Jellal served on the Council, so he'll have to do something about Councilors being targeted whether he wants to try and stop these attacks or not. There's a chance he'll get in touch when that happens."

 _He wants to get rid of you_ , Shade said.

Rogue shot the shadow a dark glare before asking, "Would I still be able to see Sting if they took me?"

Natsu shrugged. "I mean, Jellal sees Erza. You're still wanted dead or alive, so you'd want to be careful about it. Jellal never contacts anyone while there in a crowded place where people he doesn't trust might see, and it's always somewhere away from town that he has us meet with him."

"So he calls on you a lot?" Sting asked

"Three times," Natsu said. If that was just since Natsu came from the island, that was still pretty frequent for a fugitive. "I'm sure we'll hear from him with this Councilor thing, especially if the attacks keep up. Or… we'll at least hear from Meredy if… you know… Jellal dies…"

Natsu looked down to the floor again, and the room fell into silence. Awkwardly, Sting raised a hand to place consolingly on Natsu's shoulder, but before he made contact, Natsu's head sprung back up.

"Jellal's probably immortal though. I hit him through at least ten floors of his stupid tower before it exploded, and he was just fine a month later. It gave him amnesia, but he was fine otherwise. And he got his memories back eventually, so really it's like nothing happened at all. And that's not counting all the other times people did things that ought to have killed him. He'd probably survive a decapitation and come out in one piece at this point."

"I don't think you get how decapitation works," Rogue said.

"I don't think you've seen Jellal nearly die. Anyway, he's fine. He used to be a Wizard Saint too, so anyone who tries to take him down'll be sorry."

"You should come with me tomorrow," Sting said, glancing at Rogue as he spoke. "Just for an hour or two, maybe. So people see you around, and you can contact your guild and ask to let us know if they hear anything from Crime Sorciere. There's still the problem of Shade, but I'd at least like to meet with them."

"I'm sure they'll want to meet Rogue too," Natsu said.

Sting grimaced, glancing to the basement door. Rogue didn't need him to voice his concerns. He already hated the idea of Rogue's silhouette being seen through the window curtains. Of course he'd be antsy about the idea of Rogue going outside.

"We can leave to meet them at night, if they're even interested," Rogue said. "They're already avoiding been seen by the law, and the search for me _has_ to have died down at this point. Besides, it's been a long time since I had fresh air"

"It's probably why he got sick," Natsu said.

"He got sick because he picked the skin off his leg and hid the wound until it got infected," Sting said. "If I could, I'd have taken him to the hospital and put him on suicide watch."

"But you can't, so you settled for leaving Natsu with sedatives," Rogue countered before he could stop himself.

Natsu tensed, eyes suddenly intently focused on the wall behind Rogue. Sting went pale, as if he somehow expected Rogue not to notice when Lector had already drugged him twice. As if he expected Rogue to trust him not to do that, even when he didn't trust Rogue not to need it.

"Forget I said anything," Rogue mumbled. "I'm tired."

"But you napped all afternoon," Natsu said.

"Being insane takes a lot of energy," Rogue said. "I'm going to bed."

Sting shook his head and reached out for Rogue. "Look, I—"

"Goodnight." Rogue swatted the hand away. "I'll see you in the morning."

-o-

Rogue was surprised not to wake up alone. Frosch always curled up with him, and Lector slept with him more often than not since he'd become a permanent resident of Sting's basement. Sting was gone, unsurprisingly. Rogue had hoped he would sleep on the couch again, but after the way their talk ended the night before, it was understandable that Sting would have left Rogue alone.

Natsu stayed on the couch instead, Happy resting on his stomach. Apparently they found themselves blameless in the drugging affair, or at least not so guilty that they had to leave the room immediately after Rogue's outburst.

Groaning, Rogue pushed himself up and ran a quick assessment of his status. He felt famished, so his appetite must have finally returned. The dizziness was mostly gone, although he briefly felt lightheaded when he stood. The injury on his leg was sore to the touch, but the skin _was_ still raw there. With Natsu's bandages, it was hard to tell what the infection looked like.

In any case, his fever was more or less passed. He would want to take it easy the next few days to prevent it from coming back but… well… the idea that he _wouldn't_ take it easy was something of a joke. There was little else to do in Sting's basement.

He wasn't sure if he was glad or not when the basement door creaked open and Sting peaked in. From the timing, no doubt Sting had been waiting to hear Rogue wake up. He didn't look like he'd slept well the night before.

"Hey," Rogue mumbled, unsure what the right thing to say was after how things ended the night before.

"Morning," Sting returned with, hovering above the stairs.

Rogue looked around for something else to say, then asked, "Do you want me to wake everyone else up?"

It was a completely innocent question, belying no malice about the sedatives, and Sting took it as a sign that he could come downstairs without Rogue going on the offense again. He took a seat on one of the bottom steps, eye level with Rogue's, and said, "We need to talk."

"Right," the word came out a little more clipped than Rogue had meant for it to. "I get it. You wanted Lector to have some way to keep me from hurting myself while you were gone. I just don't get why Natsu needed to be—"

"Shade took over you again while you were sick," Sting said. The words were stated simply, as a matter of fact, and he kept an entirely neutral expression and even tone of voice while he said it. It felt like he'd pinned Rogue to the floor and punched him in the gut. "I haven't told Natsu yet."

"What did I do when I was—"

"Nothing." Seeing that his hasty response alarmed Rogue, Sting said, "Nothing bad came of it. You spooked us, but no one was hurt. I mean, you took a hit when Shade said something that pissed me off, but that was the only damage. I've been trying to think of what triggers the possessions since. You went months without this happening, right?"

"Two," Rogue said. That barely counted as going months without an incident, and if it was an issue that would get progressively worse, then it wasn't hard to see the possessions getting more and more frequent. They might start being a month apart, then weeks. Maybe they'd last for longer and longer and longer…

Until one final time when he never regained control.

Feeling nauseas all over again, Rogue stumbled back and let himself drop to the mattress, struggling to keep his breathing steady. He'd been possessed again. He hadn't used magic, and he'd been possessed again.

"I've been thinking of things that might trigger it," Sting said cautiously. "The time fighting Gajeel, what were you doing right before that happened?"

It took Rogue a moment to work through his cloud of panic to think back to the incident. His heart was pounding in his chest so hard that it felt like his lungs would be too battered from the movement to work, but he managed to gasp the words out. "Talking to Gajeel."

"That's it?" Sting asked. "You didn't hear Shade then?"

"That was the first time… That voice suddenly came out of nowhere, and Gajeel didn't react to it at all…" Rogue said, not noticing Natsu stir behind him. "I… I asked who was there… and was told to look down… and I swear, Sting, my shadow was _smiling_ at me."

"So you spoke to it," Sting said.

"I… I suppose."

"You spoke to it in prison to."

"There was no one else…"

"And while you were sick," Sting said, which was news to Rogue. Sting must have known it would be, because he added, "You have no idea how out of it you were when your fever was at its worst. I'm not sure you even realized who you were talking to at any given time."

"I…"

"It's fine. You weren't trying to get sick, and I was in denial over the possibility when I saw you first coming down with something. At the point that you were in bad shape, it wasn't like you could help it."

That was a nice way of ignoring that he got sick from a self-inflicted wound. Because his shadow drove him to cause harm even when he wasn't possessed, even if the only recipient in that case was himself.

Rogue tried to call Sting out on how he glossed over that detail, but nothing came out when he opened his mouth.

After a moment of waiting to see if Rogue might be able to compose himself, Sting went on. "Maybe it has something to do with how you respond to Shade? You said it felt like you were opening up to that thing in prison, didn't you? Acknowledging it—engaging with it—might be the trigger that weakens whatever barrier keeps it out of your mind. So stop glaring at it whenever it says something awful to you."

Easier said than done.

Rogue pulled his legs up against his chest, tucking his head between his knees and focusing on nothing beyond keeping from panicking. Ignoring Shade was _impossible_. The damn shadow's voice echoed in his head and pulled Rogue's gaze like a magnet. Even if Shade wasn't some dark part of Rogue's heart manifesting through his magic, the shadow's taunts of such an identity had etched themselves on Rogue's heart all the same.

Besides, Shade knew all of Rogue's fears. He'd confessed them all in prison. His fears of what he might do, of what people might do to him, of his bleak future, and of Shade. The wretched thing had too much to work with if he wanted to whisper taunts that Rogue couldn't fully block out.

"Did you try sealing his magic entirely?" Natsu asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "No matter what the final piece is for Shade to take over him, there has to be some magic involved in the process. So long as Rogue's magic is sealed, he should be fine."

"We don't have any sealers in my guild, and I wouldn't be able to go to them anyway. Unless you know a guy, then our only option would be to ask a Rune Knight for help, since they have a ton of supplies for suppressing magic. Only problem is they'd rather see Rogue sealed away in whole, so that won't do, will it?"

"I guess not." Natsu said, folding his arms and sitting down on the mattress beside Rogue.

The cats were rising now as well, and Frosch had already come over to lean against her partner. With her on one side, Natsu on the other, and doom all around him, Rogue felt claustrophobic.

"We'll get this worked out," Sting promised. "There has to be something we can do."

"You say that like I can _do_ anything," Rogue said. "I'm hiding in a basement, Sting. I've lost complete control of my life. I can't even control _myself_ anymore."

"I forced Shade back once already," Sting said. "In the other you's future, it must have taken me by surprise the first time I saw you get possessed, but I know to be on alert this time, and now I know how to recognize Shade too. I'm not going to let him get me this time, and I'm not going to let him get you either."

"While you guys are busy being sappy, I'm going to make breakfast," Lector announced. "Happy, give me a hand."

Happy, who was still waking up and hadn't yet registered that there was drama to watch, mumbled something about fish and followed Lector upstairs. Natsu waited until he was gone before slinging an arm over Rogue's shoulder. For as much as he loved his little buddy, Happy had made it clear the day before that his best idea for cheering Rogue up was teasing, and that wasn't likely to work too well with the situation at hand.

"If you don't think you can do it, then believe in me and Sting." Natsu said. "I'll ask around to see if we can find someone to seal your magic, and Jellal used to have a lot of connections to dark guilds. If he doesn't know anything about Shade, he's sure to know someone who has an idea of how to deal with this kind of stray magic. That Oracion Six guy had a special seal on his eviler side, and Jellal knew him well, so maybe we can do something like that."

"Which brings us back to waiting for Jellal," Sting said. "So we need to make sure that you'll be notified about him the moment he tries to make contact with your guildmate."

Which meant Natsu going with Sting to the guild. Which meant Rogue being alone with no one but Happy to try and contain him if he were to lose control of himself again.

Lifting his head up to look at Sting again, Rogue asked, "May I have one of those pills you told Natsu about?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rogue is having a happy fun time.
> 
> Look at how I updated in less than three months? Isn't that awesome?


	19. Minerva

Sting declined to drug Rogue 'for no reason at all,' and Natsu confessed that he'd rather knock Rogue out cold than resort to drugging him—and he wasn't going to beat someone unconscious who was suffering a mental breakdown over being subjected to some sort of demonic possession.

Purely because Natsu chose the term 'demonic', Rogue managed to convince Happy to drug him. After all, demons were now being accused of the killings. A third paper reported on newly discovered dead Councilors had accounts from witnesses, and a guild of demons was undeniably behind the attacks. For Rogue to have been unwittingly conflated as one of them was reason enough for Happy to give him a pill when he begged.

Rogue didn't recall falling asleep after that. He woke slowly, but as he woke, he became increasingly aware of how Natsu was watching him with a look of disappointment. Once or twice, Natsu said something to him, but when Rogue tried to respond, he always said the wrong thing. That he had no idea what Natsu was saying likely contributed to this problem.

"Lunch is good," Rogue mumbled at one point, and he was pretty sure that he managed to at least say something that matched the situation, because Natsu had just handed him food.

"Lunch was two hours ago. You were still asleep then."

"Oh. This is dinner?"

"You're still drugged, aren't you?"

"Kind of. I think. Can I have another?"

"We're not switching your self-harm out with a drug addiction. Especially when you're still getting over a fever," Natsu said bluntly. "Sting would kill me if I let you do that. Which reminds me, I need to see your legs."

"One of them's covered in bandages," Rogue said as he obligingly dropped his pants. It wasn't until they were all the way down that he realized he could have rolled the legs up.

Natsu checked Rogue's unbandaged leg before saying, "I know. I bandaged it."

Since there were no new scratches on Rogue's better leg, Natsu pulled Rogue's pants back up for him and sat him back against the basement couch.

As Rogue ate, it dawned on him that he wasn't entirely in his right state of mind while the drug wore off, and that was the exact situation that Sting thought led to his last possession. He winced so hard he spilled his soup all over his lap. Living the rest of his life in a medication induced stupor wasn't going to do the trick.

"Is Sting mad at me for taking that pill?" Rogue asked. No doubt this had already gotten back to him.

"He was gone before Happy gave it to you. This can be our secret, if you don't do it again," Natsu said.

"Natsu's mad at me," Happy added.

"So… Sting isn't mad?"

"Sting's a little busy," Natsu said. "You're all back to normal now? I already tried telling you this twice. I won't bother if you're only going to forget again."

"He's holding a conversation again," Happy said. "He's probably good."

"You think? Ah, fine. Minerva was in the news."

Rogue immediate thought was that it was nice for her to get that kind of attention. She hadn't said a single cruel thing to him since the Eclipse incident, and that alone was enough to make her one of the nicest members of the guild. Then he remembered that she ran away before the Eclipse incident started, and Sting had filed a missing person report on her several days later. He hadn't heard anything about her returning either.

"They found her body?"

"Who said she was dead?"

No one. Rogue had just assumed. Minerva was too proud to run away with her tail between her legs, so it made more sense to him that she was among the victims who had been devoured entirely by dragons. There were still a few unconfirmed deaths from that whole affair. People who were known to be there, but hadn't been found. Or people who only a few parts of had been found, so they couldn't be identified.

When Rogue went too long without responding, Natsu shrugged and went on. "Apparently she was behind an attack. One of the envoys bringing former Councilors to safety was ambushed by her and a few other demons. They—"

" _Other_ demons?"

Natsu shifted, uncomfortable, and said, "The survivors said it was definitely her, but there was something demonic about her. Like Take Over magic, maybe."

"Minerva doesn't know Take Over magic," Rogue said, although it was entirely possible she did. Minerva never took a partner on missions, and like Rogue, she'd never experienced an open, friendly Sabertooth. Who knew what magic tricks she might be hiding?

When Rogue thought of it, outside of Sting he didn't know all that much about any of Sabertooth's best members. Not Minerva, not Rufus, and not Orga, who he'd never have the chance to get to know better now.

"You're thinking depressing things again, aren't you?" Natsu asked. "Your face fell."

"What do I have to think of that _isn't_ depressing?"

"Sting still believes in you, and Frosch still loves you," Natsu said. "And Erza agreed to let me know as soon as Jellal contact her. When you were attacked during the Eclipse, there wasn't a pink haired girl there, right? So Meredy listened when I said not to kill you, and Jellal's way into that atonement stuff, so he'll be happy to help. I didn't name you, but I let her know I had _a_ fugitive who was interested in Crime Sorciere, so when she hears from Jellal, she's going to let him know that we're bringing someone for him to check out."

Rogue tried to smile for Natsu, but failed. "That's nice."

"Okay. Now I think you _want_ to be mopey."

"I'm not having a good day, Natsu."

"Yeah. I noticed. If it helps, Sting's having a worse day."

Fat chance. "That doesn't really help," Rogue said, setting his soup down. He got that they were still trying to go easy on him while they made sure his fever was gone, but he was sick to death of soup. "What's wrong with Sting?"

"Minerva. Two of the guild's former stars are on a wanted list now. There's all kinds of PR stuff he's getting grief for right now, and Rune Knights stopped by. I'm not sure who took charge in all the chaos, but whoever it is, they're trying to crack down hard on any possible connections to the attacks. I was gonna find some excuse to sneak out and make sure no one came looking for you, but Yukino chased me off before I could come up with an excuse. Said she didn't want Fairy Tail getting implicated in everything."

With everything that had happened, Rogue had forgotten that the guild's newest recruit even existed. How shameful that Natsu knew someone from his guild better than he did.

Of course, Sabertooth wasn't his guild anymore. Sting didn't even try to spew nonsense about him being an honorary member since the jailbreak.

"Well, you finish eating and take it easy—without drugs. I'm gonna hang out on the stairs so I can hear if anyone decides to come check out Sting's place in time for you to hide."

-o-

Sting took solace in the knowledge that, if nothing else, his house wasn't about to be inspected. The entire guild was willing to testify that Minerva had taken a hostage against him the final day of the tournament, and more than a few people voiced suspicions about her having fled when Sting took over for fear of retribution. Lector mouthing off about how cruel Minerva was while she held him certainly helped that story along. Add to that the work Sting had gone into keeping anyone from suspecting he made contact with Rogue, and the pair of Rune Knights who came to investigate felt there was no real reason for them to do any investigating beyond the guild walls.

The half-assed investigation didn't surprise Sting. When asked if he was continuing to file reports despite the silence from Era, Sting said yes, and that was all it took to satisfy the men. They didn't look over any of the paperwork or even confirm for themselves that there was so much as a single sheet of paper in the guild. Sting surmised that the men had taken the silence from Era as a chance to slack off on their own work. It had only been a few days since the explosion, and Sting was impressed that everyone had pulled things together enough to even send men out to Minerva's former guild. When that bomber took out the Councilors, he took out virtually every man who was assigned to take over in a crisis as well.

Sting still had to sit by the bar and answer questions for hours on end for one man while the other poked around the room. What all did he know about Minerva? When did he see her last? What could he tell them about her magic? Did he have any ideas about the reports of her demonically altered appearance?

What was wrong with his guild that it produced so many scoundrels?

That last question gave Sting a pause, and he had to swallow his indignation to say, "Every guild has exiled at least one bad seed. I can't help that the former master held on to any problem members as long as he could just to boost or guild for a tournament."

He absolutely could have helped the fact that he held on to Rogue for a month past the tournament, but the man didn't call him on that.

The interrogation carried on from there, and Sting's stomach eventually stopped churning when no other questions came up that required he throw Rogue under the bus. He felt perfectly alright again when he noticed the second Rune Knight go into his office. That's when he went pale.

"Sorry," Sting muttered, standing abruptly and hoping the Rune Knight wouldn't think anything of his reaction. The last thing he needed was for them to be thorough in searching the office. "I think my lunch is… I'm going to be sick."

Perhaps it helped that his legs actually were shaking as he raced to the bathroom, albeit with fear. He heard the man following and shut himself in a stall regretting his choice of excuse. It had been a spur of the moment reaction to try and hide his panic, and he'd had no idea how else to keep the Rune Knight from realizing how terrified he was to see someone go into that room.

The door in the back of the office led to the guild's basement. If the Rune Knights found his renovations and the rest of the guild had no idea they were going on, he was done for. He would need to find some way to convince Natsu to take Rogue and run, because he'd be under so much suspicion that he'd be lucky if Rune Knights didn't start following him around the clock.

He'd said he was going to be sick, so he had to be sick. Sting shoved two fingers down his throat and made himself wretch into the toilet. Outside the stall, the Rune Knight asked awkwardly if he was okay, and Sting coughed violently instead of answering.

He sincerely wished he'd come up with another excuse. When Sting dragged himself out of the stall his throat burned, his mouth tasted like acid, and a little bit of vomit dribbled down his chin. At least the Rune Knight seemed to be a well-meaning guy, for as much of a headache as he'd been. He wordlessly offered Sting a damp washcloth and gave him a chance to clean up before asking, "Do you need to lie down?"

"No… Just… Food poisoning, I think. I feel better now that it's out of me."

Begging off in the middle of an investigation was reason to have people come back and keep asking questions. Powering through while he appeared sick would make him look determined to help and prove his guild's innocence.

As he discarded the last of the soiled paper towels into the trash, his face wiped clean, it occurred to Sting that if Rogue had taken up self-harm as a coping mechanism, then they should be on the lookout for eating disorders too. He would ask Natsu later, somewhere well out of Rogue's earshot, to make sure that Rogue wasn't doing anything _else_ reckless. He knew Rogue ate a full breakfast and dinner, but he couldn't say for certain that he knew Rogue wasn't throwing it all up as soon as Sting left the basement. A few months ago he'd never have questioned it, but as Rogue was now, it was safest to doubt everything.

Everything except the idea that Rogue could be saved. They would get him to Crime Sorciere, and they would stop his shadow, and Rogue would stop breaking down over how he couldn't control Shade or how he was so horrible and helpless and start actually _doing_ things with his life again. He'd have other people to interact with again and he'd get to go on missions with the unregistered guild and he could save people from dark guilds and alleviate his guilt over the people that Shade made him kill.

Sting had a lot of doubts in Rogue, but he refused to doubt that things might get better. Things _would_ get better. Sting would make sure of it.

"I think I can hang in there, if you still need anything," Sting said. "Where were we?"

"Oh Um… I wondered if you knew what type of work Minerva did for the guild."

"Whatever pleased her. I never paid that close of attention." But there would be neatly filed records of all her work in his office. "I can pull up her record, if you want. We thought she was missing because of the dragon attack, and we were holding out hope that she might turn up alive and… well… not evil somewhere, so we still have her records filed with the active members."

They still had Orga's file there too. Sting didn't know where records went after a member left or passed away, and with the subject of lost members being such a touchy one when he defended Rogue so staunchly, he hadn't dared ask. In fact, had Rufus not resigned himself to being Sting's assistant, those records would all be several months out of date. Seeing the names of the people that Rogue's future self killed left Sting feeling unclean inside and out. Because he saw them and felt bad for denying them justice, and then for daring to think such a thing when the closest anyone could get to granting them retribution was punishing poor, innocent Rogue.

Realistically, Sting knew Natsu had to destroy the Eclipse Gate. They weren't strong enough to defeat the dragons on their own, and they had to be sent back. That didn't stop him from wishing he'd been stronger at the time, so that he could slay all seven dragons and there would have been no sending the other Rogue back to his bleak future. If the _real_ culprit had stayed where he was, then perhaps there still would have been some concern over who Rogue might become, but anyone wanting only to see someone punished for all the death and destruction could set their sights on the person actually responsible for what happened.

Sting bit his lip to keep from smiling at himself. It he was going to wish for the power to kill seven dragons, he might as well wish the dragons had never showed up at all.

He ushered the Rune Knight into his office, where he found the other poking around his desk. Waving to the man that it was okay for him to keep going, Sting led the one who'd followed him in over to the bookcase with all current member records.

"We only keep things for the current and previous year. After that, there's a record room in the library that we rent out." Come to think of it, that was probably where he was supposed to put information on people who were no longer in the guild. "If you find anything suspect in Minerva's charts with no clear start date, I'll let the librarian know you have access to the older files as well. You would have to run back to Era for a warrant otherwise, right?"

He was such a good guildmaster, cooperating with an impromptu investigation despite the Rune Knights not having gone through the proper protocol to require he participate. Naturally, he wanted the culprits caught and had nothing to hide, or else he wouldn't share everything so willingly.

"That should do. Thank you."

"Is there anything else I can help with?" Sting asked, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he talked. Now that he was there, he wanted to stay. He needed to make sure he could explain the basement as fast as he possibly could.

"You could help me read through… No. Best I do them myself. Boss'll have my head if he hears I let one of her former guildmates go through her chart, even if it was someone related to her by… the way you are."

Truth be told, Sting was curious to hear why Minerva might have joined a demon guild, and eager to see if he could tempt her back to his side. He could hardly cling to the idea that Rogue could be saved, only to scoff at any similar salvation for Minerva. Then again, he tried not to look to eager about Rogue's prospects among people he didn't want to suspect him of aiding Rogue, and he planned to do the same with their runaway Misses. If saving Minerva jeapordized Rogue, well… Maybe Natsu could save both, and Sting would like to save both, but the sad truth was that he wasn't Natsu, and his dear, emotionally compromised friend came before a haughty girl who held Lector hostage against him.

With that in mind, he rather appreciated the idea that no one expected him to sympathize with a woman who took a hostage against him after he attempted to murder her father.

"Alright. Let me know if you think of anything." Sting glanced around, looking to see if there was any other way to stall his departure. "Do you mind if I grab the incoming jobs to sort through and post, or do you want to check them first to make sure we're not secretly arranging any sort of criminal activity through a client?"

"Maybe if you had a problem with criminal members." Seeing Sting hesitate, the Rune Knight added, "I know this has been something of an issue for you the past few months, but officially you only have one member who we suspect of illicit guild behavior. The incident with Mr. Cheney is a matter outside of guild jurisdiction."

"I see… I'll get back to my own work, then," Sting said. While he hurried over his desk, he took his sweet time gathering the stack of papers.

For his efforts, he was rewarded with the opportunity to watch the second Rune Knight open the basement door. While Sting felt himself go stiff when he saw the doorknob turn, he nearly melted with relief when the door opened to reveal an armoire blocking the view of the stairs. He'd been moving furniture down earlier to make a more natural living space for Rogue, but given up on the heavier pieces and left that giant wooden mass just beyond the door. The plan had been to ask Natsu for help moving it and the other items he had shoved into the guild's supply closet, but then the Rune Knights showed up and Natsu ran home to guard Rogue instead.

The Rune Knight snorted, opened the armoire door to confirm that it was empty, then shut both doors. "Isn't the point of an armoire to work as a stand-in closet? What's the point of having one if you only use it to fill a closet?"

Grinning from ear to ear over his dumb luck, Sting said, "Heck if I know. I'm still getting used to the pace of all the paperwork that comes with the job, so I haven't had time to rearrange everything from the previous master's setup yet."

The Rune Knight shrugged and moved on to another part of the search, and Sting slipped out of the room to get some work done before they could interrogate him again. He'd just spent a whole month's worth of luck back there, so he wasn't going to take any more chances.

-o-

In the interest of not taking chances, Sting left the guild earlier than normal and stopped to commission a wooden panel that would match that of the guild's interior walls, claiming that a bar brawl had put a hole in one. Despite his boasting about his perfect recall, Rufus's memory for details he deemed irrelevant was laughably poor, and if asked about Sting's office, he likely wouldn't recall a door he never used. Not eager to risk someone else finding the basement, Sting intended to make the entrance all but invisible with a fake back wall. He would find something to hang on that section of the wall as well, to cover the crack around the door.

It would look all the more suspect if anyone _did_ still find the door, but anyone who went down into the basement would find what he was up to, so it wasn't like hiding it would get him in any more trouble if caught.

He came home frazzled from the day's stressed to find that Natsu had made dinner, and he and Rogue were eating while trading theories about where the demons came from. They both smiled when he came downstairs and shared no reports about any further attempts on Rogue's part to screw himself over, and Sting smiled back and sat with them.

Trying to save Rogue was the most stressful thing Sting had ever done, but it would be worth it. He wouldn't give up hope. If Rogue could go about his day as normal and trust himself even after hearing about that possession, then Sting wouldn't give up hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!


	20. On The Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they finally leave the basement

For the next week, life for Rogue fell into a snug routine of being completely coddled. Natsu and Sting conceded that he was well enough to eat things that weren't soup again, and he enjoyed a normal, solid breakfast and dinner with both of them, while Natsu was always around for lunch—even if he spent a few hours each day at the guild. Happy was ever present, and when Sting thought they could get away with it, Frosch and Lector would stay with Natsu "to show him around" while Sting worked. If Sting felt uncomfortable one night letting Rogue sleep upstairs, then Natsu would sleep downstairs with him.

Even when he was allowed to shower, Natsu convinced Frosch to go in with Rogue. Endearing as he found her, Rogue had wanted to pitch a fit at that one. He had exactly no alone time whatsoever, and couldn't even have some privacy in the bathroom. But he supposed he at least ought to appreciate that it was now Natsu nudging for the zero privacy rule rather than Sting. (Unless they colluded while away from Rogue to have Natsu be the bad guy for such insistences.) He'd acted out of desperation too many times while people's guards were down, and Natsu had kept his word and not told Sting about him coaxing Happy into drugging him, so Rogue bit his tongue and didn't resist their rules.

Besides, it could be worse. Happy wasn't terrible company, and Natsu was pleasant, and Frosh and Lector and Sting were dear and comforting. There was no time when Rogue wasn't with someone who treated him well. Compared to what it had been like in prison, that was a blessing. Even before his arrest, trying to assure Sting that everything was okay and the way people treated him wasn't killing him inside, Rogue had spent a considerable amount of time trying to put on a brave face and be a pillar of support for Frosch. Guilty as he felt leaning on her instead, There was certainly a sense of relief in being able to count on everyone else to handle things while he focused on not suffering a full on breakdown.

Sting promised they could move him to the guild within a month, and that he'd found someone else who could have another room set up that Sting would take within a few weeks of that. Rogue always lit up at that, because Natsu warned that he could only be there a few weeks, and for as much as Rogue wished for a little privacy, he dreaded being left alone. His hand still twitched down to his leg whenever his shadow started mocking him, desperate to do something to block the voice out so he wouldn't open himself to it again, and it was only because others were there to block out the noise and look sadly at him when they thought he was about to hurt himself again that he refrained. He was already going to have one hell of a scar on his right leg on top of all the mental scarring he would no doubt carry forevermore from the whole ordeal. No sense is leaving any more marks.

Moving to the guild would also be nice for the simple fact that he'd be able to hear familiar voices again. He would need to be careful to keep quiet during the day, but Rogue's hearing was much sharper than that of his former guildmates, and he looked forward to listening to them and pretending that he was actually up on the first flood interacting with people, rather than hidden away in a basement.

It was cushy and comfortable and all in all almost bearable, and it took Rogue completely by surprise when Natsu ran downstairs for lunch grinning from ear to ear with the news "Jellal made contact!"

There had been more attacks in the past week, which Rogue hadn't paid much heed. His world consisted of Sting's house—and mostly the basement of it at that. He had bigger worries than things happening outside of his world. But he'd known that Natsu was getting anxious. The more serious things got without hearing from his friend, the more likely it was that his friend was among the Councilors who had already been killed, but not yet found. Confirmation that Jellal was alive meant there was now a total off two Councilors not confirmed dead. The former chairman had gone missing several days earlier.

Rogue smiled for Natsu and said, "That's wonderful," before remembering that Natsu had asked Jellal about him. "What did he say?"

"He's got into a fight with those Oracion Seis guys. Remember them?"

"No?" Rogue was sure he'd heard the name come up somewhere recently, but he'd never paid much attention to anything

Natsu paused, surprised by this, then shrugged. "Guess you would have been a kid last time Jellal had anything to do with them. Anyway, they're all good now, but Jellal took some damage in the fight, and when Tartaros found him, he only got out alright because the Oracion guys had his back. He found out why they're killing everyone though."

"What? They spent so much time gloating about their evil plans that the person they were about to murder found a way to thwart them."

"Probably. You'd be surprised how often bad guys do that. Anyway, it's bad. _Really_ bad. The kind of bad where if the Council were still around, they'd probably offer to protect Jellal with no strings attached, just to stop this. Well, maybe not if he negotiated with four-eyes, but Doranbolt would be all for it. Except he's asking Fairy Tail for help instead, and Erza said there were a couple Sabertooth people who wanted to speak with him, and he's fine with that, so long as you're fine with putting yourself in close proximity with someone who's likely to be attacked at any moment."

" _I'm_ being targeted," Rogue reminded Natsu. "It doesn't really matter to me at this point if I get close to someone a dark guild doesn't like. You know officers from Era?"

"Yeah. We deal with them a lot," Natsu said. From what all Rogue remembered about Fairy Tail, he took this to be an understatement. "Doranbolt just got out of the hospital and Wendy made me go see him. He was there for the bombing. Four-eyes was off looking for you. He's the one who arrested Jellal last time, and he's a hard-ass, so we're going to avoid him, because he won't care if Shade made you kill those people or if Sting's going to seal Shade away. He'll just wanna arrest whoever he was told to."

"And he _will_ care that Sting has no idea how to deal with Shade." Rogue tried not to sound tart when he said it, but when he closed his mouth he could _taste_ the tartness of his words.

"Yeah. He's a jerk like that," Natsu said, missing the tone entirely. "We have Jellal's location, and two days to get there. You can't take the train, so how's Frosch for flying?"

"She's better than Lector," Rogue said.

"Great. Sting's working on some excuse to be away from the guild right now. We'll head out tonight. Pack anything of yours that you… um…" Natsu glanced around at the basement, which wouldn't look lived in if it weren't for the disheveled mattress on the floor. Now that there was someone who could safely go upstairs in broad daylight, Rogue didn't leave any of Sting's books lying around, and between the break-in at his house and his arrest not long after, he was short on personal possessions. "I'll pack stuff to eat."

"If there's anything I can do to help…"

"Nah. You and Happy take it easy."

'You're staying down here with Happy, where you're safe from the world and vice-versa, and he can alert me if you're about to do something crazy.' Maybe Natsu didn't meant it like that, but that was how Rogue heard it.

Maybe he also meant nothing more than exactly what he said when he told Rogue, "I have it covered."

But Rogue still heard, 'I'm not entirely willing to overlook Shade and Sting's grasping at straws either.'

-o-

Rogue told himself over and over as they snuck out of town that it was only his imagination making him suspect that Natsu meant to say as much. He wasn't invited to help because people would see him from the window, and Happy was there out of consideration so he wouldn't feel lonely.

Realistically, he knew Happy was probably on duty making sure he didn't tear his ears off again, but telling himself otherwise served as a nice distraction as they made their way to Crime Sorciere's hiding place. All those weeks under Sting's neurotic care had made Rogue as anxious about the possibility of discovery as Sting was. Even if he wore a hooded cloak and even if he had only lingered outside Sting's door for a moment before Frosch grabbed him and took off, part of him still worried that he worried that a neighbor might report suspicious activity around Sting's house.

Lector's endurance being what it was, they landed a few miles outside of town, feet crunching down in the snow. It took Rogue by surprise, somehow, that it was winter. He'd discounted the growing cold as a mix of being trapped in a basement and worsening depression making the environment seem more miserable. Sting dressed as lightly in his house as he did in mid-summer, and even bundled up in thick comforters, Rogue had never given any thought to the possibility that the cold might exist outside of his own little world.

What month was it? How many days did they have left before when he was supposed to kill Sting? There might only be half a year to seal his shadow before Sting died and he was possessed for good, which was as good as dying, save for the part where his body would still run around killing people. Unless the changes his future self caused led him to be possessed earlier.

Rogue glanced nervously at his shadow, and regretted it.

 _Scared? I'm not scary, Rogue. I'm you. You're not losing yourself to anyone_ but _yourself._

"Can we talk?" Rogue asked Sting.

"Sh. There's a lot of country homes out here. Wait until we're past them."

_You seem to be annoying him. Well, he's already burdened by trying to keep a murderer safe. I can only imagine how obnoxious it must be to have you thwart all his efforts._

"Please, Sting."

"Seriously. It's not safe."

_We could land him in jail. Alert everyone then slip into the shadows while he tried to flee the authorities._

A plea to hear any voice but Shade's died in Rogue's throat. Whether his shadow was trying to stop him from finding distractions or not, he didn't know. Either way, Rogue would rather deal with the voice than drag Sting down with him.

_If you really wanted to do what's best for Sting, you would sneak away now. Those two are focused on the path. You can slip into the trees, melt into the shadows, and disappear completely._

And in doing so, effectively hand himself over to his shadow. Rogue bit his lip and resisted the urge to shake his head. Going by Sting's theory of how the possessions were facilitated, he couldn't talk back. He couldn't acknowledge the shadow. Whether that applied to verbal acknowledgements only or not, Rogue didn't dare test.

_You're afraid you'll kill Sting, yes? Then I promise no harm will come to him tonight. We can kill Natsu instead._

Rogue quickened his steps to catch up to Sting and Natsu. If they all had to play mute, then maybe their presences would at least help to keep him from completely losing it.

_Good idea. It will be easier to take them by surprise when there's less ground to cover._

"You know what? Let's just talk, and if anyone reports us, then we run," Rogue said.

"Rogue—"

"I'd rather hear _your_ voice."

Sting grimaced, picking up on the implication, and nodded. "We all have good ears. It should be alright if we keep our voices down. And… Seriously, speak up whenever that's a problem."

"It's always a problem," Rogue muttered.

"We have a ways to go still, so let's try and be less gloomy about it," Natsu said.

"We're sneaking out to meet a fugitive because everyone wants me dead and he might be able to keep me from eventually wanting everyone dead in return. How does that not warrant gloom?"

"Because you _don't_ want everyone dead and Jellal's a dork. Remember the first day of the games, when one of our competitors suddenly started laughing and forfeited? That was Jellal. We had a member who looked like him, so we let him sneak in under their name."

"Why?" Sting asked.

"He wanted to investigate something. And Gramps thought it would help to have a former Wizard Saint on our team, except then he lost in the most embarrassing way possible. He swore up and down afterward that Meredy and Ul… that Meredy was messing with him so he wouldn't blow his cover."

It was hardly a tactful attempt to avoid mentioning Rogue's would-be murderer among Crime Sorciere. Fortunately, Happy had something valuable to contribute before any awkward silence could settle over the conversation.

"I've seen him do worse than laugh himself to defeat," Happy said, a devious grin on his little kitty face. "You know he likes Erza, right?"

"Kinda," Natsu said, curiosity alight in his eyes. "I knew Erza liked him."

"Well, did Erza tell you about what happened the time they kissed?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearly i r on tap uv theens.
> 
> So yeah. Sorry for not updating for... what? Three and a half months. Yeah. Basically since around when school started back up. I'd love to say "I was really, really busy with school, guys!" but tbh it's a mix of that and "I got totally engrossed in an original story I was working on and spent what little time wasn't swallowed up by school on that."
> 
> Except for last week. Last week was consumed by Zelda. Sorry.


	21. Jellal

Rogue grinnined despite himself at Happy's story for the rest of their hike, and he had to school himself to somber down when Natsu reported that one of the scents they all noticed was Jellal's. It wouldn't do to laugh at the romantic mishaps of someone he hoped could help him.

"Do you recognize any of the other scents?" Sting asked. Now that they were far enough out in the wilderness, there was no need for them to keep quiet, but from habit they still whispered.

"Yeah. I know them all. I don't like most of them, but I know them all, and Erza said that Jellal said we can trust them now." That was an awful lot of secondhand trust to ask be accepted by two people who spent months living in fear and paranoia such that no one else in their guild knew about Rogue. Sting and Rogue's alarm must have shown on their faces, because Natsu added, "They're all the same as Jellal, except that since they're not sealing anything, the Rune Knights would ring their necks instead of locking them up if they ran to report you."

"Lovely. What's this about sealing things?"

"Oh! Right. I knew I forgot to mention something. The thing all the Councilors are dying over? It's some anti-magic weapon. Head, or something. Face? I think it's called Face. There's three keys you gotta get in order to activate it, and they're all bound to Councilors with Living Link magic. Three people who served on the Council, anyway. Only the chairman was allowed to know which three it was, though. That's why Tartaros kept killing everyone instead of trying to get information out of them. We all got lucky that one of the Councilors happened to be the one who absolutely no one knew the location of. Tartaros found the homes of everyone else, and the safe homes of everyone who went into hiding. If they'd given anyone else the key, there'd be no more magic. Works for Rogue, but it would be nice if we could fix his problem without everyone else losing their magic too."

"Have they found the chairman yet?"

"No, but I'm sure they'll find him when they track down Tartaros's base," Natsu said, and both his words and the anger in his voice took Sting and Rogue by surprise. "What? Most of those old guys were already basically in hiding so people wouldn't badger them about some law or another they passed. Tartaros knew where all their houses were, and then all the super-secret locations they went to hide. _Someone_ had to tell them that, and there's no reason that whichever survivors of that bombing who organized the safe houses would know about the original homes, but a former chairman would have known all that and been told where he could hide."

"He was the Council chairman since before Rogue and I were born," Sting said. "People only ever say good things about the time he served."

"People only ever say bad things about Rogue," Natsu countered. "People can think what they want, and I'm going to think the thing that makes sense."

Rogue was grateful that Sting didn't try and dispute that logic.

They made it several hundred yards further before a girl stepped out, and tension that Rogue hadn't realized he was holding melted away when he saw here. During the Eclipse, Ultear had been torn open by a dragon's claws and devoured while still bleeding out. She was undeniably dead, and Rogue knew that with more confidence than most anyone. She was still the only Crime Sorciere mage he'd ever seen, though, and some part of him had expected to face his would-be killer again. So when he instead saw a cute, rose haired girl, his anxiety vanished.

She was followed out by two red-heads, one of whom Rogue recognized as Fairy Tail's Erza Scarlet, and the other a scarred stranger that made Natsu tense up.

"Hey, Salamander," the man said.

"Cobra."

"He goes by Erik now," the girl cut in, her tone chipper despite the tension between the two boys. "And your friends must be… Oh!" The girl paused, her smile slipping for a moment when she saw Rogue. "You must be the one Erza mentioned. Sorry. She didn't give us your name, so I had no idea it would be _you_. We… Well, that can wait. Come on. Everyone else is this way."

She beckoned for them to follow, and Natsu had to nudge Rogue forward.

"I didn't tell Erza who it was," Natsu said as they walked. "It's hard to know who's listening in on the other side of a lacrima. Oh, guys, this is Meredy and the asshole. He's a slayer too, kinda.

"What do you mean, kinda?" Erik snapped. "I'm more of a slayer than you'll ever be."

Natsu leaned away from Erik and stage whispered to Sting and Rogue, "He never saw a dragon before last summer."

"Who taught him?" Sting asked.

"Heck if I know. I think he just had some lacrima shoved up inside of him."

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here!"

" _Anyway_ ," Meredy said as forcefully as she could, "You know what's going on, don't you? Why they want Jellal dead?"

"Salamander just finished explaining it," Erik said. "But it's simple enough anyway. Keep the fruitcake alive until the Council gets its shit together and takes Tartaros out, or we all lose our magic."

"Crime Sorciere isn't going after them?" Natsu asked.

"Jellal wants to, but we outvoted him seven to one," Meredy said. "Everyone will target them as word of their goal spreads. The most important thing right now is that Tartaros doesn't eliminate magic, and for that to happen, Jellal has to stay alive. Jellal going to fight Tartaros would be counterintuitive. Maybe once we figure out how they tracked us down, we can split up and ambush them while a few people stay behind to make sure that idiot doesn't get himself killed."

"Do any of you actually respect Jellal?" Rogue asked.

Erik's "No" clashed with Meredy's "Usually."

They exchanged amused looks before Meredy said, "He's a good person, and he's smart and caring and determined. Sometimes he lets his emotions drive him more than they should is all. He's really admirable. _Really_. He was a wizard saint until the tower incident happened and they stripped the honor away, and he and Ultear were the youngest people ever to serve on the Council. Our new members are just getting used to him still."

"When you say he lets his emotions drive him…" Rogue couldn't quite bring himself to ask what danger that might put him in.

Natsu cast a glance Rogue's way before taking over. "Rogue's antsy 'cause Ultear didn't listen when I said we shouldn't kill him."

"I was afraid of that," Meredy admitted. "Um… When she died… Did you—"

"We saw it," Sting said before she could potentially ask if Rogue had been at fault. "I guess that future Rogue was covering his bases, because none of the dragons attacked _my_ Rogue, and when Ultear attacked him, the dragon Rogue was trying to take down was on her in seconds. It was over that fast, too."

It hadn't been fast, but Rogue didn't say as much. Instead, he leaned into Sting, who had put an arm protectively around Rogue's shoulder at the point that he claimed that shadow slayer. Rogue appreciated the none too subtle hint that giving him trouble would be grounds for Sting to retaliate

"I see." Meredy looked away, eyes dropping to the snow at her feet. "Ul could be drastic at times, but she wasn't all bad. She raised me, you know."

"She tried to kill Rogue, and he hadn't even done anything to anyone," Sting said. "So I'm sorry, but I really don't care if she was nice to other people. Rogue didn't deserve any of the shit he's been through, and as far as I'm concerned, she was the one who set the precedent for treating him like shit."

"Didn't he kill a bunch of people?" Erik asked, which made Rogue freeze mid-stride.

"Come on." Natsu grabbed Rogue's sleeve and pulled him forward. "His opinion doesn't matter. Cobra nearly killed Erza, then tried to kill me after, and he wasn't even possessed when he did it."

Meredy glanced back at Rogue at the mention of possession, but Sting still had an arm wrapped protectively around Rogue's shoulder, and she looked away.

_I don't think they even need me to step in to get them to tear out one another's throats._

-o-

There were many ways in which Jellal was not what Rogue expected, starting with the bandages around his eyes. He was also strikingly handsome, which Rogue was ashamed to privately admit had surprised him. Despite his own situation, he'd expected a criminal, even one who committed all his misdeeds while brainwashed, to look more like the hideous trolls seen in children's stories.

More than anything, however, Jellal was surprisingly subdued for someone with as much magic as himself. Weakened from a fight or not, Rogue could sense from ways away that Jellal possessed phenomenal power.

"Has he always been blind?" Sting asked. "I don't remember us ever having a blind Councilor."

"He injured himself fighting Macbeth," Erza said. "He should be alright to remove the bandages soon, but until then he's easy picking for Tartaros."

In Jellal's position, Rogue would have protested that he wasn't completely defenseless. There were always spells with a wide enough range that you were more or less guaranteed to hit someone when casting them, even if you couldn't see you opponent. What Jellal did was blush with shame and turn away.

"Don't mind him," Meredy said, then, dropping into a stage whisper, added, "He's just embarrassed that Erza saw him before he was fully recovered."

Rogue made a mental note to get the details on Jellal and Erza's relationship later, although he suspected he already had a good idea of where the two stood with one another. That would be something for later. For the time being, he was more concerned with committing the Crime Sorciere members to memory. If Sting's half-baked plan worked out, which was Rogue's only bet for being able to continue to live in Ishgar without having to spend the rest of his life hidden in a basement, then these people would be his new guildmates.

Meredy he decided he didn't dislike. Even if her defense of Ultear made him uneasy, she openly agreed that Ultear had been in the wrong, and did seem upset that Ultear had lied about not attacking Rogue. Erik was someone that Rogue thought he might get along with eventually, maybe. He spoke rough, but he was kind to Frosch, so he couldn't be all bad.

There was Macbeth, who Rogue was trying his hardest not to judge entirely from first impressions, Sorano, who looked strikingly like Yukino, and two absent members named Richard and Sawyer, who were out patrolling the perimeter of the camp.

It didn't pass Rogue's notice that, despite being familiar with all of the guild's members, Jellal and Meredy were the only ones who Natsu reliably got the names right when speaking to. The newer Crime Sorciere recruits, as it turned out that they had been recruited since the Tartaros attacks began, had all used code names up until joining the guild. Jellal was the one to force them to resume using their real names, apparently, which suggested he wasn't always as subdued as he appeared just then. Whether his current demeanor was due the Erza, the attack, the temporary blindness, or some other combination thereof, only time would tell.

Jellal sat quietly, offering only mild protest as Meredy recounted the attack.

"The demon we saw was some sort of bird-woman, and a total sadist. She attacked Sorano just because it was the quickest route to Jellal, and then went all out assaulting him. We only had a few seconds to react before everything went dark. She robbed us all of our sight. Jellal's managed more or less alright without his eyesight for a little while now, so he wasn't as hindered, but it's hard to fight a seeing opponent blind even if you are adjusted to sightlessness."

"But you drove her off," Natsu said.

"That was Macbeth," Meredy gave the sullen man a smile and an approving nod, which was met with a scoff. "He's good with illusions. Even if she took our senses away, he could still confuse hers, and since Jellal injured his eyes in the first place to keep Macbeth's illusions from effecting him, he was immune. He managed to hit the demon hard enough that he spell was broken."

Meredy stopped there with a finality that said there was nothing more to the story, and Sorano added in, "And that's when Erik killed the bitch so she couldn't try again."

The conclusion made both Sting and Natsu freeze up, but while Rogue shifted from one foot to the other uncomfortably, he took solace in how discomforted Meredy looked. Even Jellal scowled at the reminder of how the fight ended. The newer recruits had a harsher outlook on enemies, but the ones who worked alongside Ultear certainly seemed to disagree with the idea of killing anyone just for their being a threat.

"Have you encountered any demons?" Macbeth asked.

"Rogue and I have been a little preoccupied with the personal kind," Sting told them. Rogue knew that the whole point of coming was to ask for help, but he still hoped that Sting wouldn't elaborate any further.

"Fairy Tail's been moving slow since the Eclipse incident," Natsu said. "We lost a lot of people. Everyone went into mourning. I don't think anyone was even out of town when the attacks started, save for the ones who went off on a trip to get away from all the dreary atmosphere."

"Laxus's team went out in search of Tartaros members after Yajima was killed," Erza added. "I think he felt responsible. Fried wanted to take a job from Yajima, and they could have been there to protect him that day, but Laxus has run off on training session after training session ever since his fight with the dragons. He wouldn't stop talking about how there was no point in being strong enough to protect others if he wasn't there to protect them. He found one of the Councilors who refused to leave their home, but he didn't find them in time."

"So we know nothing about the guild."

"We know plenty," Erik corrected. "The bird-lady is Kyouka, and Jackal was the one who blew up all of Era. Don't look so shocked. The Oracion Seis and Tartaros were in the Balam Alliance together, We don't know all of the guild's secrets, or even half of their abilities, but we know who the major players are."

"The problem is that we don't know who will attack, or when they'll strike next," Meredy said. "We lucked out last time, but Tartaros never revealed their abilities to any of the other dark guilds if they didn't have to. We only know a few of their curses. Jellal is still injured from his previous fight, and Sorano was hurt, and Macbeth's magic has been on the fritz since he tried to confuse someone else's sense while lacking his own. Which is why we called for backup."

"Do you have a plan for us?" Sting asked. "Any strategy that we can fit into?"

Meredy shook her head. "Keep Jellal alive is the gist of our plan. Without knowing what all the enemy is capable of, we can't prepare any more than that. Although it would be helpful to hear what all you two are capable of."

"I wouldn't count on me," Rogue said.

Up until that point, Rogue hadn't said a word, and Jellal started upon hearing his voice.

"I didn't realize Natsu brought more than one person," he said. "Who's there."

"Rogue," Sting said.

"Oh. I thought you were Rogue."

"That's Sting," Natsu corrected. "Rogue's the gloomier-than-you one."

Jellal took the jab with a good natured grin. "Noted. I take it Rogue is the one who wanted help?"

"I'll fill you in," Meredy promised. "For now, let's make room in camp for our reinforcements. We need to change watch soon, too. Rogue, do you have any extra security concerns?"

She meant was there anything they needed to do to keep safe from him, and he appreciated that she phrased it so diplomatically. Rogue glanced around the camp, and saw nothing particularly useful to him. A campfire burned, but heat lacryma glowed dimly near the tent, offering little enough light to be easily hidden from search parties while keeping the winter chill at bay. That wouldn't do much to repell his shadow. Sting probably couldn't use his magic during the night for trivial matters either, since he could easily give away their position.

Still, Sting was the closest thing Rogue had to a security blanket. "I want to stick with Sting. That's all. If you want us to help with patrolling or lookout, then please treat us as one person when figuring out where to assign us."

Meredy nodded to the easily fulfilled request. They had enough people that they didn't need to stress over one fewer time slots for night watch. "None of you are on lookout tonight. You've been traveling for a while. But I'll make sure you two are kept together."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Erik can help you three set up a tent while I the rest of us trade out watch shifts. Have a good night."

"We will," Sting said.

 _Some of us will_ , the shadow added, and Rogue knew that he was in for a miserable night indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original plan was for this to update yesterday, but then my laptop wouldn't load the doc manager page for ffn or the rich text editor for ao3, so I kinda gave up. Looks like the internet is working again, so here's the new chapter now. I'm working again, so you guys have to leave lots of awesome reviews that can brighten my day when I get the chance to read them over my lunch break tomorrow.


	22. Out Of Earshot

Sting slept the first few hours with no difficulty, but some time before morning Lector shook him awake to whisper "Rogue keeps whimpering."

Drowsily, Sting lifted his head to see his partner, who lay on his back and stared up at the top of the tent. His eyes were glassy, and at random he would flinch or bite his lip. It took Sting's sleep addled mind shamefully long to realize that Rogue's shadow was still harassing him.

"Do you need help?" Sting asked. "Whatever I can do to make things easier for you, just let me know."

He barely finished making the offer before Rogue pounced, wrapping his arms around Sting and burying his face in his friend's chest.

"Okay. Not so tight. I need to breath."

"Sorry." Rogue didn't loosen his grip until Sting returned the embrace.

"Do you need me to drown that thing's voice out?"

"N-no. Everyone else is trying to sleep."

"You need sleep, too."

"I'm sure I'll pass out from fatigue eventually." Rogue lifted his head to meet Sting's gaze. "Just hold on to me. Please."

"Okay. This helps?"

"It's almost like being surrounded by light." Rogue smiled. "I can still hear him from all directions, but it feels easier to deal with if I know you're this close."

Sting smiled and pulled Rogue in a little closer. Rogue terrified of the dark was still a bad thing, but at least he had faith enough in Sting's durability that killing Sting was no longer something he was so worried about as to try and push Sting away. "Alright. Close your eyes and do your best to ignore him. I'll be right here."

"Thank you." Rogue shut his eyes and pressed his forehead back against Sting's chest. "I don't know what I did in a past life to deserve a friend like you."

"Honestly, if anything destroyed my faith in karma, it's you. There's nothing anyone could do to ever possibly deserve the shit you've had to go through," Sting said.

Rogue didn't say anything in response, but Sting felt him squeeze tighter on the pajama top that Sting wore. No doubt, he was thinking of those people he murdered when fleeing prison, or the victims of the Eclipse incident.

"The world is too hard on you," Sting said. "You don't need to be hard on yourself along with them. Chin up. You had no control over anything they blamed you for."

No response.

"Did you hear me? I said chin up."

"No," came Rogue's muffled reply. "Your chest is warm."

It took Sting a second to realize that Rogue interpreted him literally, and then there was no disputing the argument. The heat lacrima that kept their tent from freezing over might have made things less chilly, but it still wasn't as warm as his bedroom. It wasn't even as warm as the basement Rogue spent the colder half of fall in. And Rogue's body heat did make things more comfortable.

"Alright. But when we get up in the morning, I expect that chin to be so high that you can't see the ground at all."

Rogue's bitter laugh might have woken up Natsu beside them if it had Sting's chest not muffled the sound. "I don't think I've held my chin high enough to make eye contact with the cats in months."

"Rogue looks at Fro all the time," Frosch said. Sting hadn't realized she was up, but if Lector was awake from worrying about Rogue, it stood to reason Frosch would be.

For as tightly as Sting and Rogue clung to one another, there was no room for Frosch to get into the middle. Instead, she climbed up Rogue and lay down on top of both boys. Lector, after a moment's hesitation in which he debated calling this behavior childish, climbed up as well. It was a cold tent and body heat helped. And maybe he was a little jealous of all the affection Sting was giving to someone else.

"We're all here for you," Sting said. "No matter what, the three of us will never give up on you, Rogue. Don't forget that."

-o-

Sting couldn't be there for Rogue first thing the next morning, when Jellal asked that he go stand on the far end of camp so that Rogue could be interrogated privately. Despite Sting's efforts to fool the temporarily blind man, Jellal didn't speak until he had Rogue near alone.

"The deal was that we stick together," Rogue said.

"He can see you from here, hear you if you shout, and run across camp in seconds if anything is amiss," Jellal said, revealing a gross failure to properly account for dragon slayer hearing. "You let him speak for you as much as possible last night, and I want to hear your own account of things. That's all."

Rogue settled down on a log across from the one Jellal say on. Talk for himself. He could do that. He used to loathe Sting jumping forward to speak for both of them. When did that change?

"What do you want to know?"

Jellal bit his lip, turning his head to the side as if there was something happening to his right that he urgently needed to look at, then turning back to Rogue. "Meredy already told me what happened with Ultear. I'm sorry for that. I was with several Council agents at the time, working to have Erik brought out to help with the dragons, so I missed the discovery for who would cause them to appear. Had I been there, I would not have allowed her to do that."

"You're not going to call her a good person and say she only meant the best?" Rogue asked.

Jellal's smile was so somber it made Rogue depressed. "Not for one second do I think that you want to hear that. If I were to go around telling the people I wronged that they should judge me by what the people who like me think, rather than because of what I did to them or their loved ones, I wouldn't even deserve the chance to speak with them again."

"She was your friend."

"She was, and I liked her, despite things that transpired between us before this guild was founded. I would like to defend her, but I've heard that tone of yours in my own voice often enough to know you're not in a place to hear that you need to look at those who tried to hurt you as good. The fact either way is that you were not the one behind the dragon attack, and she tried to kill you."

"It was definitely me behind it."

"Really. Can you tell me what you felt opening the gates and ordering the dragons to attack?"

Rogue stuttered, and the grin Jellal game him was decidedly less somber. " _You_ are no more to blame for what happened that night than I am. Than anyone in this camp is. No one should have held you accountable for something you have yet to and might never do."

Hearing that, Rogue allowed himself to ease back. Jellal was like Sting and Natsu, telling him not to blame himself rather than that the world would be better off if he were gone. For one moment, he allowed himself to be safe and comfortable.

"That being said, there are twenty-two people dead, and suspicions were so high that before the Council died, they all but declared you guilty. Meredy said there was some mention of possession, but she had focused on explaining the situation with Tartaros. Now I'd like you to explain to me _your_ situation."

"My situation…"

The entire point of making the trip to meet Jellal was to see if he had any ideas for how to get rid of Shade. Still, faced with actually admitting to Jellal, who would no doubt share the dilemma with the rest of his sketchy guild, made Rogue's stomach clench. Erik, who had all too gleefully accused Rogue the night before, also had the sharpest hearing of any dragon slayer Natsu knew.

"Natsu mentioned something about being swallowed by shadows when Frosch dies," Jellal said. "Is that what Meredy meant by possession?"

"Sort of…"

"Then assuming these shadows are why Then do you think it was a wise idea to bring Frosch on this job?"

Proving Rogue's suspicion that they every nearby slayer could eavesdrop, Sting's cry of "We couldn't leave her behind," was almost lost under Erik shouting, "That's convenient!" And even Erik couldn't get loud enough to drown out Natsu yelling, "No one here is the person who kills Frosch!"

It had never occurred to Rogue before that Natsu might _know_ who killed the future version of Frosch, but now that he had confirmation of that, it took priority above all else. Forget about his murders or Shade or the potential loss of his own self that Jellal might be able to prevent. There was someone who might kill _Frosch_ , and Jellal needed to know who. He didn't even need a shadow possessing him to tear the perpetrator to shreds.

His intent must have been written all over his face when he whirled around to look at Natsu, because Natsu said, "It doesn't matter. They aren't here."

"Sooner or later, it _will_ matter," Rogue said.

"They're not going to kill Frosch."

"Why? Because you told them not too after the dragons were sent away? I said back then that I wasn't going to kill _anyone_ , and look how well that worked out."

"No."

"Then how can you be sure?"

Natsu cleared his throat. "Weren't you supposed to explain the Shade situation? You're dodging Jellal's question."

"You're dodging _mine_."

"I'll help you grill him later," Jellal promised. "For now, it sounds like this person who said they won't harm Frosch isn't even present. Someone who said they wouldn't kill and then took twenty-two innocent lives is."

"A couple of them weren't innocent!" Sting called out.

"Can we talk further from camp?" Rogue asked. The sooner they got this over with, the sooner he could learn the identity of this absentee threat, but he could _feel_ Erik's gaze boring into him.

"Is that alright? I thought you wanted to stay near Sting."

"Sting can follow. He's not the one I mind being in earshot of."

Jellal was kind enough not to sigh in exasperation as he pushed himself to his feet. "I'm not sure that _any_ distance will put you out of Erik's earshot, but lead the way."

Unsure how well Jellal could follow the sound of footsteps, Rogue took his hand and guided him off. This was someone being targeted in order to activate a super-weapon, so he tried to be practical with where he went. There was a rocky outcropping not _too_ far off with a decently sized bolder for them to sit side by side on. It could be seen from camp, as could anyone sneaking up on it, but it would provide a little shelter from some angles. Taking Jellal into the woods was just asking to get ambushed.

Sting hovered halfway between the camp and Rogue, and Meredy stood only a few paced beyond him. That was fine. She didn't have perfect hearing, and Rogue wasn't trying to isolate Jellal from his guild in order to jump him, so it didn't matter if his guildmate was jumpy.

Lowering his voice, Rogue gave Jellal his account of events. How Shade first spoke to him during the games, and how he'd heard the shadow since. The conditions he lived in while incarcerated, why he broke out, and where the breakout went wrong. Sting coming for him, convincing him not to let himself be recaptured, and giving him food and shelter while they worked out a more permanent solution.

"Have you considered joining Crime Sorciere?" Jellal asked the moment Rogue mentioned that living in a basement was only a temporary fix.

"Not really," Rogue admitted. "Frankly, I thought you wanted me dead."

"There was no vote to send anyone out to kill you. Neither Meredy nor I would have approved such a plan, and to be frank with you, our newer recruits don't care half as much about anything you did as they might seem. Erik just enjoys giving you a hard time." Jellal paused just long enough that he could have added the words 'because he's an asshole like that' before carrying on. "Crime Sorciere is a guild of mages who seek redemption. If you feel that's something you want after what happened during your breakout, you're always welcome here. But we've already established that you didn't come out here to apply for membership."

"Before I can go anywhere, I need to find a way to kill Shade. Or at least seal him. I don't even want to stay with Sting too long if I can't fix… well… If I can't fix _me_. Apparently I was possessed a third time while feverish, and tried to attack Sting then."

Jellal nodded in understanding. "Unfortunately, Ultear would have been the best of us to ask for help, but I'll canvas other connections the guild has and see if anyone has an idea for what we might be able to do for you. Do you know how this… corruption managed to get inside of you in the first place?"

Even though Shade had been silent since Rogue woke up, he could still hear the shadow's whispering taunts of merely being a projection of Rogue's own darkness.

"No."

"I suppose not." Jellal heaved a sigh. "I have a vivid memory of when something similar affected me, but what I experienced was a warping of several of my thoughts and feelings, not true possession where I had no memory of what my body did afterwards."

Something clicked in Rogue's brain. Stories Sting shared of legal precedents and how they were close enough to his situation that they would have been useful if only the Council actually excepted those situations as reason for pardon.

"I'm sorry. I have no memory of the things I was made to do, and it still makes me sick to think about."

"Well, no one _made_ me take any given action that I did after…" Jellal shifted, looking uncomfortable with saying he had been brainwashed. "No one made me kill Simon."

"I don't even know the names of any—"

Rogue wasn't sure why his attention snapped suddenly to the tree line. It was neither a sound, nor any magic presence that he sensed, but something made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on edge.

"Rogue?"

"Back to camp." Rogue grabbed Jellal and yanked him to his feet. "Back to camp _now_."

"Who's there?" Jellal asked. All things considered, the cause for Rogue's alarm was obviously a 'who'.

"Don't know. Move faster."

The second Rogue started running for camp, practically dragging Jellal with him, Sting and Meredy bolted for them. Rogue had enough time to think this was good, because poor, temporarily blind Jellal kept tripping and they needed more help getting him back to safety fast.

No sooner had he finished that thought than did a blast cut through the path between himself and Jellal and the rest of the camp, cutting them off from any help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated! Please don't kill me for dragging my feet for three months. Life Choices is almost done, so I'll try to focus on finishing this next. I have an outline for the remaining chapters. I just need to write them.


	23. Tartaros

Self-centered though it may have been, Rogue's first thought was that it would look to Jellal's guild like he lured Jellal away from them in order to make him an easier target.

When dragging Jellal towards the camp, Rogue held him so tight he might have cut off the circulation to the man's hand. Now it was Jellal who tightened his grip on Rogue, moving closer as he asked, "Where are they?"

"Between us and camp, so please don't fire blindly."

Telling Jellal not to defend himself could also look bad, but then it was a real concern that the former Wizard Saint might accidentally hit a friend rather than a foe. More importantly, Jellal's body language spoke a level of trust that Rogue was amazed anyone would show towards him. Whatever his actions looked like to others, he didn't want to betray that.

"I'll fend whoever it is off. If you have any protective spells, just stick to those."

"I'm more of an offensive—"

"Down!"

Rogue flung and arm over Jellal and pulled him to the ground, barely evading a wave of energy that sliced through the rock beyond them. He still had yet to catch sight of the enemy, but given how that attack would have decapitated Jellal, it seemed a safe guess to say that Tartaros were their assailants.

"How many are there?" Jellal asked. "Is it only one again?"

A chain of explosions set off, rushing towards Rogue and Jellal from two directions. Instinct overid fear, and three seconds and two hundred yards later, as Rogue watched the detonation of the place where he and Jellal lay moment before, he realized he had merged temporarily with the shadows to escape. Good to know he could do that without losing all sense of himself.

"I think there's more than one."

From his new vantage point, Rogue finally had a view of their assailants, as well as most of Crime Sorciere and Natsu at his back. Only Sting and Meredy were still down in the thick of things—which was not okay because _Sting was down there_.

As he was not overly familiar with the large, polygonal man reaching out for Jellal, Rogue shoved past him and pressed Jellal's into Macbeth's unwilling embrace.

"I'm not his nanny!"

"Too bad!"

Rogue leapt from the ledge before Macbeth had a chance to protest further. Joining Sting on the low ground, where the dust from the first attack had yet to clear.

"What are we up against?" Sting asked.

"At least two demons. Spiky squid thing and a cat-boy. One of them shoots out waves of energy that slice through things. One of them does explosions. Don't ask me which is which."

No questions about how Rogue traveled as far as he did. They were on a battlefield together, and the chaos had set a blissful calm into both of them. There was no time to worry about Shade or what the Council of and rest of Fiore thought of Rogue. It was almost as though the Eclipse incident never happened.

Rogue lifted his head, sniffing the air for anything suspect. Now that he paid attention, there was a strange, musky scent and one mixed with the smell of dog and gunpowder. That must have been what alerted him, since it was only now that the demons moved loudly enough for him to track their movements. Sting had already positioned himself to face the spiky squid, so Rogue turned and braced for the cat-boy.

"You sure it's a cat-boy? It doesn't smell like a cat-boy."

"The tail checked out."

"Where's Jellal?" Meredy demanded. Rogue forgot she was there.

"Safe. Or with Macbeth, at least. He's out of the thick of things."

Meredy's next question went ignored. The cat demon Rogue had his attention on leapt up above the dust, angling for the ledge where he left Jellal, and Rogue summoned up all the shadows he'd hidden from the past months and fired them at the demon in as mighty a roar as he could muster. When the shadow-cloaked demon fell from the sky, Rogue sprinted after him.

He caught up just as the demon landed—and maybe he was a dog demon after all, because he certainly didn't land on his feet.

Rogue drop-kicked the demon before it could get upright, then rolled to his feet while the demon recovered. His boots glowed where they'd made contact, and he tore them off and cast them into the dust. No sense in waiting to find out what spell was on them.

The demon jumped up as well, took one look at his attacker, and balked.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"Do I know you?" Rogue asked. He sure as hell hoped this wasn't someone Shade consorted with while possessing him.

"You're the one Minerva used to work with, aren't you? I heard you went crazy, laid waste to a city, and slaughtered everyone who tried to bring you in after." Rogue winced. Right. They had Minerva on their side. "Geeze. This guy is such a pain. All the other councilors were nice enough to go isolate themselves completely, or cluster together so I could get them all at once." The demon shrugged and two explosions went off behind him, just in case Rogue missed the implication of who was behind the very first attack. "This guy surrounded himself with a bunch of criminals. I guess he knew who the real strong mages were. Not that it matters. You're only a little tougher than the men they stationed at Era. Nothing compared to a demon. Your magic is a pathetic…"

Rogue glanced down at Jackal, half-tuning out his villainous gloating about curses and truly powerful magic. He could talk Rogue's ears off just fine, so long as it kept him distracted.

There shadows were connected.

How was it that Natsu said he nearly died the first time he met Rogue's future self? Being dragged into the shadows in the floor? Rogue had done that before, more benignly, to Sting at times. When the blond was too confrontational with others, Rogue would pull him under and hold him there while he diffused the situation. Because at his power level it took an element of surprise that one lacked when in the midst of a fight, he never used it for combat… but could he?

"…Really, we could probably leave you guys be. That blind coward is going to be stabbed in the back by one of his body guards soon. Serves him right for being such a pain up our asses. As soon as—"

Rogue sprang forward and dove into the demon's shadow, leaving only a hand in the light to grab the demon's ankle and pull him down. As the demon's shadow shrank, Rogue came back up, letting their shadows meld briefly, weaving them together like a thread knotting through itself. Then, taking a deep breath, he stepped back and pressed a hand to the ground, channeling to their shadow with as much magic as he could gather to compel the shadow to pull the demon in. Accept him. Devour him,

_Feed me._

The voice jolted Rogue and shattered his focus, and the demon's progress down into the shadows halted, on shoulder, one arm, and his head still above ground.

The demon thrashed, attempting to push himself up and out of the shadow, and Rogue could only stare. The shadow… the shadow that tormented him… the shadow that was a part of him, yet something so much darker than he ever wished to be. For one brief moment, he'd thought that it might give him peace, and yet…

"Rogue!"

Frosch's voice jolted Rogue from his stupor, and he whipped around to see the frog-cat flying towards him.

"Get back!" Rogue shouted. Whoever it was that was supposed to kill Frosch might not be there, but that didn't mean she was immortal. "Stay away!"

Frosch only hesitated a second before closing the distance between herself and Rogue. "Rogue looked scared by his magic. Frosch came to help!"

"I'll be fine! I'll be fine! Just… Go! Shade wins if you get hurt, remember?"

She'd completely forgotten, Rogue could tell. Her eyes widened in realization, and she gave him a quick hug before hopping down and running back towards the ledge she'd flown from.

Rogue turned back to the demon just in time to see him pounce, having escaped the shadows' grip. He ducked and rolled from under the attack, and upon getting back to his feet saw the demon run past him.

Towards Frosch.

Rogue wasn't sure how to describe what he did. He said nothing allowed, used no magic, and didn't even consciously think of Shade. There was just an awareness that he would do anything— _anything_ —to keep Frosch from being caught by the demon, and then everything went dark.

-o-

There was a sword pressed against his neck when he came too. Figuring that Sting would be the one who needed to talk down whoever it was holding a sword to his neck, Rogue decided to completely disregard the blade situation entirely. While everyone argued above him—he could now tell that he was pinned to the ground, and it looked like the boot pinning his chest down was Erza's—he took stock of his situation.

He'd been taken over again. Obviously. So long as Frosch was alright, Rogue didn't think he even cared that Shade took over. Shade fought more ruthlessly than he did, and that demon needed to be taken down. Hopefully, it happened without anyone from Crime Sorciere being hurt.

They appeared to be near the same ledge where they had been before, which was good. For once, Rogue blacked out and woke up knowing where he was. He felt wet. Very wet and sticky all over and everything smelled like blood that wasn't his, so he had a guess as to what he was soaked with. Frosch was nowhere to be seen, but Erza looked more or less unharmed, and Sting was only moderately bruised, and Erik looked more amused than angry, so it seemed a safe bet that no one on their side was dead.

"How do we know he isn't faking?" Erza demanded.

"All the marking vanished," Sting said,

"You think he doesn't have control over whether or not they appear?"

"He looks confused."

"People are capable of acting!"

Natsu snorted and muttered, "You aren't," a little too loud for only dragon slayer ears, and Erik burst out in laughter.

"Don't _laugh_! He nearly killed you."

"Miss, I don't have a scratch on me."

Rogue wanted to ask who he did kill, because there was way too much blood on him for someone to not be dead, but what came out instead was, "Is Frosch safe?"

"See? He's back to his normal self."

"Or he wants to know if he needs to kill her, so he can stay this way."

Sting's patience ran out. "Just put the fucking sword down!"

"She's not going to _behead_ him," Natsu said. "She just… Erza, it's safe to let him go now."

"I thought it was safe the _first_ time."

"The first time," Sting said, "he was still covered in markings. And I _told_ you it wasn't really him. Even Frosch could tell." He paused, then finally looked down and made eye contact with Rogue. "Frosch is safe."

Relief flooded Rogue. He closed his eyes and lead his head fall back, all his limbs becoming dead weight on the stone beneath him. It had been worth it. That was his first thought. Whatever Shade did with his body, it had been worth it.

What a terrifying thought.

"Does Erza still have him pinned down?" Rogue heard Jellal ask.

"Yeah."

"Erza, I think it's fine to let him go. His magic feels the same as it did originally."

His _magic_ changed when Shade took over him. That was news to Rogue, and an argument in favor of Shade not truly being a part of him. Or at least a part that came from a much deeper, darker part of him than he'd first wondered about.

Shade had something to say to that, but Rogue focused on Jellal's voice instead. "I appreciate your concern, but it's alright to trust him again."

"We don't know when he'll lose control next."

"Frosch is safe, and he knows not to acknowledge this shadow of his when not under pressure."

Sting pitched in, "So maybe stop applying so much pressure to his throat."

"She doesn't have the blade pressed so hard that I can't breathe without cutting myself," Rogue said, trying to be helpful.

To his surprise, this was enough to get Erza to withdraw her blade. Rogue still waited a minute before sitting up, during which time Jellal and Erza debated whether or not they ought to restrain him for safety—until they found a way to make sure he stayed sane. Sting won the argument by pointing out that without some sort of magic blocker there was no chaining someone who could meld into shadows. Jellal landed the blow that silenced Erza's protests by pointing out that neither of _them_ had enjoyed being restrained.

Rogue couldn't bring himself to care what Jellal referred to, since he was too busy trying his hardest not to care that Erza, Natsu, Erik, and _Sting_ flinched when he sat up. Only the sightless man didn't mind.

"How much do you remember?" Sting asked.

"Frosch was under attack."

"And then…?"

"And then I woke up here. The demon…?"

"He's dead," Natsu said.

"Ah." Rogue already knew that, but confirmation made it feel real. He wasn't sure if he should be upset or not.

 _Of course you aren't. You aren't the type to care when others die, Rogue._ We _aren't._

Rogue was grateful when Jellal cleared his throat and said, "For the time being, I think it would be best if you stuck with Sting rather than us. He was the only one who could talk you down, after all. Crime Sorciere will keep an ear out for anything that might help with your situation. Unless your shadow is either stopped or a method is devised by which one of us can return you to your senses, I'm afraid that admitting you to the guild will have to wait."

That he was still an eligible candidate at all astonished and elated Rogue. Enough so that he didn't even take offense when Sting said "Gajeel knocked him back to his normal self the first time by kicking his ass so hard he couldn't move afterward. Would that work?"

"I… wouldn't consider it ideal for anyone," Jellal admitted.

Rogue gave Jellal a grateful smile, which had no effect. Jellal's eyes were still bandaged.

"How about for now?" Sting asked. "Do you want us to head back?"

"Rogue saved Jellal and shredded a demon," Erik said. "Until the pussy's got his vision back, I think it doesn't hurt to keep him around."

"More importantly, the commotion from this attack will bring authorities to investigate," Sorano said. "They nearly caught us the last time we were attacked as well. Rogue is wanted, isn't he? He's not in the guild yet, but as an honorary member, we can't leave him to be captured."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops. I had this prepped to post late-October but got caught up in some other life stuff and forgot to upload. Just realized it hadn't been posted yet.


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